An in-depth exploration of the bonds between siblings and their surprisingly large influence on how we develop.
Time senior editor Kluger (Freedom Stone, 2011, etc.) has experienced myriad familial and sibling relationships in his life: son, brother, stepbrother, half brother and stepson, to name just a few. Using these often humorous, but sometimes dark, experiences as a handy framework, he first explains why human siblings are unique in the animal kingdom and why, in many cases, bonds between brothers and sisters are among the most important in their lives. Masterfully weaving anecdotal passages with academic research and scientific data, the author thoroughly examines the many manifestations of the simple brother-brother, sister-sister or brother-sister relationship, and the dynamic within each. Kluger devotes chapters to such major topics as the importance of birth order in a growing family, parental divorce and blended families (which become more prevalent each day), and what happens when a parent clearly favors a particular child. The author also touches on why siblings fight, how their risky behaviors may influence one another (hint: it’s not always negatively), sex and gender and sibling relationships in old age. Kluger doesn’t neglect the “curious worlds of twins and singletons”; they get a chapter all to themselves. An entertaining, enlightening and helpful handbook for familial relations from an author who’s been through them all.
Pub Date: Sept. 1, 2011
ISBN: 978-1-59448-831-3
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Riverhead
Review Posted Online: Aug. 20, 2011
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 2011
A painfully beckoning memoir of a guy raising his son solo after his wife slips away into madness. Novelist Thorndike (The Potato Baron, 1989, etc.) was a young Peace Corps volunteer in El Salvador when he met Clarisa in 1967. She was 19, he 24, and love came easily. Clarisa had gone to school in San Francisco and spoke flawless English. They were footloose, fancy-free, and looking for an alternative lifestyle. They married and moved to a farm in Chile, and Clarisa gave birth to their son, Janir, in 1970. At first, Thorndike admired Clarisa's impetuousness, her contrariness, and her mothering: She couldn't get enough of Janir. Then her slow, cruel slide into schizophrenia began. The closeness between mother and child was replaced by a gathering distance; she would rage at the boy, giving him a sharp pinch for good measure. They returned to El Salvador. There, Clarisa stayed out all night; she demanded a car, then smashed its windshield ``to feel the wind in her face as she drove''; she reeked of dope. Thorndike left for Ohio, with Clarisa's agreement and with Janir. What followed were hard days and nights of fathering alone. Thorndike relates with simplicity and clarity the all-consuming nature of being a single parent, the terrors of child-rearing, the loneliness as he failed to find a mate, the rhythm of the days he spent farming the land and forging a tight intimacy with his son. The love is so palpable, so sugar-free and recognizable, it makes the heart ache. Clarisa continued to materialize for increasingly chaotic and gruesome reunions, until she tendered the 10-year-old Janir a hit of LSD (``Eat this, but don't tell your dad''). She eventually committed suicide, jumping from the fire escape of a shabby hotel. Stormy and pungent, a story that makes you count family blessings, no matter how meager.
Pub Date: May 1, 1996
ISBN: 0-517-70542-7
Page Count: 256
Publisher: Crown
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 1996
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
A celebration of grandmothers as both safety net and symbol of the ties that connect woman to woman over generations. Edelman’s Motherless Daughters (1994), an exploration of the emotional consequences of losing a mother, was something of a surprise bestseller. Using much the same technique—combining research, interviews, and personal anecdotes’she now explores the ties that bind the triangle of daughter-mother-grandmother. Aside from her personal catharsis, the subject has value, she believes, because more and more children are being raised by their grandmothers or by single mothers and grandmothers together. The book is divided into four sections, exploring the relationship between granddaughter and grandmother, the three- generation triangle, the grandmother as center of the family, and as the keeper of the culture. Among the points explored: Part of the strong connection that can develop between granddaughter and grandmother reflects a suspension of judgment on both sides—children, especially before they are seven years old, accept their grandparents for who they are, bearers of gifts, always with time available, without the emotional charge that exists between mother and daughter. According to Edelman, women also often identify their maternal grandmothers as the “source of their female identities . . . many of their values, behaviors . . . desires and fears.” Four types of grandmothers are identified: the Gentle Giant, the Benevolent Manipulator, the Autocrat, and the Kinkeeper. Edelman had an eccentric maternal grandmother who in some ways combined all of those attributes. Her personal recollections of the fluctuating relationship, including her mother’s role in the triangle, are more illuminating and certainly more engaging than the sometimes thin interviews and research material. Still, a wake-up call that a mother’s mother may be more influential in forming who we are than many women suspect. (Author tour)
Pub Date: April 13, 1999
ISBN: 0-385-31796-4
Page Count: 256
Publisher: Dial Books
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: April 1, 1999
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