THE FRIEND WHO GOT AWAY

TWENTY WOMEN TELL THE TRUE STORIES BEHIND THEIR BLOWUPS, BURNOUTS, AND SLOW FADES

A book to savor, despite its imperfections. But think twice before giving it to your best friend.

Offill (Last Things, 1999) and Schappell (Use Me, 2000) address the timeless topic of women’s friendships from an innovative vantage point.

In their mixed-bag but mostly captivating anthology, 20 women reflect on amities that have ended. They describe friendships of all sorts—sad, zany, co-dependent—finished off by various factors: a fight, a move, a lie, cheating, death, etc. Lesbian sex sinks some; others fall apart when one person suddenly makes a new friend. College friendships, unsurprisingly, occupy a lot of space. Emily Chenoweth describes her short, heady fling with freshman hall-mate Heather, and novelist Elizabeth Strout writes somewhat more banally about her eventual decision to drop a college pal. Nicole Keeter contributes a luminous essay about being the first black girl in a small town in Iowa and the friendship that developed between her and Gina, another African American who came to town a few years later. Vivian Gornick tells of her friend Emma, “with whom I was certain I would grow old”—a certainty that proved untrue. Kate Bernheimer’s affecting essay, although not exactly about a friend “who got away,” is one of the most satisfying pieces here. Her two best buddies easily got pregnant, while she suffered multiple miscarriages. Their three-way friendship didn’t end, exactly, but it certainly shifted and strained and fell into silence. Patricia Marx lightens the tenor of the collection with her hilarious satire “Tenure.” She strikes the single unusual note in a gathering that eventually feels repetitive. One wishes that more of the authors had moved from straightforward autobiography to reflection on the nature of friendship. The editors’ four-page foreword doesn’t provide this, and neither do many of the essays.

A book to savor, despite its imperfections. But think twice before giving it to your best friend.

Pub Date: May 17, 2005

ISBN: 0-385-51186-8

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Doubleday

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2005

THE 48 LAWS OF POWER

If the authors are serious, this is a silly, distasteful book. If they are not, it’s a brilliant satire.

The authors have created a sort of anti-Book of Virtues in this encyclopedic compendium of the ways and means of power.

Everyone wants power and everyone is in a constant duplicitous game to gain more power at the expense of others, according to Greene, a screenwriter and former editor at Esquire (Elffers, a book packager, designed the volume, with its attractive marginalia). We live today as courtiers once did in royal courts: we must appear civil while attempting to crush all those around us. This power game can be played well or poorly, and in these 48 laws culled from the history and wisdom of the world’s greatest power players are the rules that must be followed to win. These laws boil down to being as ruthless, selfish, manipulative, and deceitful as possible. Each law, however, gets its own chapter: “Conceal Your Intentions,” “Always Say Less Than Necessary,” “Pose as a Friend, Work as a Spy,” and so on. Each chapter is conveniently broken down into sections on what happened to those who transgressed or observed the particular law, the key elements in this law, and ways to defensively reverse this law when it’s used against you. Quotations in the margins amplify the lesson being taught. While compelling in the way an auto accident might be, the book is simply nonsense. Rules often contradict each other. We are told, for instance, to “be conspicuous at all cost,” then told to “behave like others.” More seriously, Greene never really defines “power,” and he merely asserts, rather than offers evidence for, the Hobbesian world of all against all in which he insists we live. The world may be like this at times, but often it isn’t. To ask why this is so would be a far more useful project.

If the authors are serious, this is a silly, distasteful book. If they are not, it’s a brilliant satire.

Pub Date: Sept. 1, 1998

ISBN: 0-670-88146-5

Page Count: 430

Publisher: Viking

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 1998

THINKING, FAST AND SLOW

Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our...

A psychologist and Nobel Prize winner summarizes and synthesizes the recent decades of research on intuition and systematic thinking.

The author of several scholarly texts, Kahneman (Emeritus Psychology and Public Affairs/Princeton Univ.) now offers general readers not just the findings of psychological research but also a better understanding of how research questions arise and how scholars systematically frame and answer them. He begins with the distinction between System 1 and System 2 mental operations, the former referring to quick, automatic thought, the latter to more effortful, overt thinking. We rely heavily, writes, on System 1, resorting to the higher-energy System 2 only when we need or want to. Kahneman continually refers to System 2 as “lazy”: We don’t want to think rigorously about something. The author then explores the nuances of our two-system minds, showing how they perform in various situations. Psychological experiments have repeatedly revealed that our intuitions are generally wrong, that our assessments are based on biases and that our System 1 hates doubt and despises ambiguity. Kahneman largely avoids jargon; when he does use some (“heuristics,” for example), he argues that such terms really ought to join our everyday vocabulary. He reviews many fundamental concepts in psychology and statistics (regression to the mean, the narrative fallacy, the optimistic bias), showing how they relate to his overall concerns about how we think and why we make the decisions that we do. Some of the later chapters (dealing with risk-taking and statistics and probabilities) are denser than others (some readers may resent such demands on System 2!), but the passages that deal with the economic and political implications of the research are gripping.

Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our minds.

Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2011

ISBN: 978-0-374-27563-1

Page Count: 512

Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux

Review Posted Online: Sept. 3, 2011

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 2011

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