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Our nation’s leader, photographed in an amusing but non-presidential pose, is the much-sought-after object of a search by the raunchiest cast imaginable in this pleasantly demented police procedural for the Tarantino set by the author of Perv (1999).

No amount of spin-doctoring could possibly undo the damage to the image of America’s First Yalie if the picture in the possession of beautiful but damaged, totally practical nurse Tina Podolsky were to become public. The desirable snapshot features America’s Commander-in-Chief with a firm grip on his . . . let’s call it his essence, which is decorated with, of all things, a smiley face. And he’s not alone. Detective Manny Rubert’s ex-wife, now serving as mayor of Upper Marilyn, Pennsylvania, is in there too, up-close and personal. Tina, a gal with a sad past in trailer parks, found the photograph hidden under a nursing-home patient’s mattress, where it had been stashed on a visit to his mom by psychotic crackhead Tony Zank. Endlessly vile Tony, who will later drop his mom from the nursing-home window, stole the snapshot from Mayor Marge with help from friend and partner Mac McCardle, a dead ringer for Dean Martin if he weren’t short and African-American. Detective Rubert gets involved while investigating the death of Nurse Podolsky’s husband Marv, who ate the bowl of Drano-laced Lucky Charms she set out as she opened the envelope with the stupendously valuable candid. The nurse and the cop come to crave each other, but growing lust must be set aside until the matter of the photo is cleared up, a task that involves duping the thieves and takes somewhat longer than it should for readers who may find nonstop gore, raunch, crack-smoking, car chases, car wrecks, dismemberments, bad smells, buggery, subplots, and bureaucratic sniping a little fatiguing, no matter how good natured it all is.

Nonstop fun for the lads. Rubber gloves for the rest.

Pub Date: Nov. 6th, 2001
ISBN: 0-06-018556-2
Page count: 336pp
Publisher: Morrow/HarperCollins
Review Posted Online:
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15th, 2001


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