An important story that needs more specific details to achieve its intended impact.
The tragic story of how the fumbling hand of our healthcare system contributed to the suicide of the author’s 34-year-old daughter Pam.
Pam, a psychologist and clinical social worker, isn’t granted an adequate stay in the proper facility to treat her bipolar I disorder–it wasn’t covered by her HMO–a deeply disturbing fact considering her credentials. But when Pam’s well-connected physician father and clinical social worker mother, who both advocated for her and were willing to spend out-of-pocket money, couldn’t obtain help for her either, it becomes a nightmare. In this book, Childs not only attempts to expose discrepancies within the healthcare system, she’s also exorcising her grief while introducing readers to her daughter’s tragic story. The author is trying to impart that Pam wasn’t just a person with an illness, but someone who graced everyone’s lives, including those of her patients. To make her point, Childs writes of Pam’s physical beauty, but unfortunately uses generic statements, such as “Hair of gold,” “Eyes of green like the sea” and “a vision of loveliness.” She also writes that her daughter’s “words were as exquisite as her presence,” but readers rarely hear Pam’s voice in the text. Descriptions of Pam often get bogged down in generalities, leaving the reader begging for more specifics. For example, instead of staying with the powerful emotions she must have felt at Pam’s funeral, Childs delves into her own prior losses, such as her father’s death and her friend Chava’s death from cancer. She then writes about the cabin she renovated with her fourth husband, an event that was followed by his sudden death. After these distractions, Childs returns to Pam’s funeral. The subsequent eulogies are merely summaries. “She [Pam’s sister] shared her pride and fondest of memories.” What are those memories? The anecdotes are called both “funny” and “sad,” yet no further details abound. Had Childs shared more, readers might have been able to mourn Pam too. The author’s effort, though deeply heartfelt, to make Pam into an angel doesn’t allow her to emerge as a person for an outside audience.
An important story that needs more specific details to achieve its intended impact.Pub Date: Feb. 9, 2006
ISBN: 978-1-4196-2125-3
Page Count: -
Publisher: N/A
Review Posted Online: May 23, 2010
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
A very welcome instance of philosophy that can help readers live a good life.
A teacher and scholar of Buddhism offers a formally varied account of the available rewards of solitude.
“As Mother Ayahuasca takes me in her arms, I realize that last night I vomited up my attachment to Buddhism. In passing out, I died. In coming to, I was, so to speak, reborn. I no longer have to fight these battles, I repeat to myself. I am no longer a combatant in the dharma wars. It feels as if the course of my life has shifted onto another vector, like a train shunted off its familiar track onto a new trajectory.” Readers of Batchelor’s previous books (Secular Buddhism: Imagining the Dharma in an Uncertain World, 2017, etc.) will recognize in this passage the culmination of his decadeslong shift away from the religious commitments of Buddhism toward an ecumenical and homegrown philosophy of life. Writing in a variety of modes—memoir, history, collage, essay, biography, and meditation instruction—the author doesn’t argue for his approach to solitude as much as offer it for contemplation. Essentially, Batchelor implies that if you read what Buddha said here and what Montaigne said there, and if you consider something the author has noticed, and if you reflect on your own experience, you have the possibility to improve the quality of your life. For introspective readers, it’s easy to hear in this approach a direct response to Pascal’s claim that “all of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” Batchelor wants to relieve us of this inability by offering his example of how to do just that. “Solitude is an art. Mental training is needed to refine and stabilize it,” he writes. “When you practice solitude, you dedicate yourself to the care of the soul.” Whatever a soul is, the author goes a long way toward soothing it.
A very welcome instance of philosophy that can help readers live a good life.Pub Date: Feb. 18, 2020
ISBN: 978-0-300-25093-0
Page Count: 200
Publisher: Yale Univ.
Review Posted Online: Nov. 24, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 15, 2019
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...
Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.
Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.Pub Date: March 21, 2017
ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
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