The readable, touching story of one family’s struggle and ultimate triumph.
A father gives an honest account of raising his severely disabled son and the tolls it took on his family.
Holton’s heartfelt debut memoir details the unending stress of raising a physically and emotionally disabled son. His young wife, Sandra, had difficulty conceiving their first child, including an excruciatingly prolonged labor. The doctors used a fetal heart monitor, a device so new at the time that they had to consult the owner’s manual. What the parents didn’t know but the heart monitor showed was that the baby had a series of strokes during labor and, following a caesarian section, had to be revived at birth. The unaware parents only gradually realized something was wrong with their child. Young Johnny was diagnosed with cerebral palsy and epilepsy, and his early life was a nightmare of seizures and a parade of specialists and tests. As Johnny got older, his angry, violent rages became more frequent, brought on by the “monster within his head.” He also developed a charming but devious personality, escaping from babysitters, hospitals, and even a locked psych ward. Johnny required constant vigilance. His parents rarely got time off and only took one vacation in 22 years; “everything concerning Johnny fell on our shoulders and ours alone.” They also filed lawsuits, clashed with the school system, and resisted suggestions to lock Johnny up permanently. But he only got worse, with “bouts of rage and insanity that had us living on edge constantly.” Just when there seemed to be no hope, a team of doctors proposed a radical “fix”: an amazing feat of neurosurgery that completely transformed their lives. Despite a few typographical miscues—“[Sandra] wouldn’t even take an aspirin during the pregnancy…she didn’t want to harm the baby…why this?”—Holton recounts his memories in a conversational tone, broken up into short anecdotes and frequently lightened by goofy jokes, never letting himself get weighed down by self-pity or anger. While giving comfort and hope to those in similar situations, Holton’s story also provides needed insight into what life is really like for families with disabled children.
The readable, touching story of one family’s struggle and ultimate triumph.Pub Date: July 30, 2013
ISBN: 978-1491067246
Page Count: 280
Publisher: CreateSpace
Review Posted Online: April 8, 2015
Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 15, 2015
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...
Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.
Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.Pub Date: March 21, 2017
ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
A miscellany of paternal pride (and frustration) darkened by the author’s increasing realizations of his mortality.
Ruminations and reminiscences of an author—now in his 70s—about fatherhood, writing, and death.
O’Brien (July, July, 2002, etc.), who achieved considerable literary fame with both Going After Cacciato (1978) and The Things They Carried (1990), returns with an eclectic assembly of pieces that grow increasingly valedictory as the idea of mortality creeps in. (The title comes from the author’s uncertainty about his ability to assemble these pieces in a single volume.) He begins and ends with a letter: The initial one is to his first son (from 2003); the terminal one, to his two sons, both of whom are now teens (the present). Throughout the book, there are a number of recurring sections: “Home School” (lessons for his sons to accomplish), “The Magic Show” (about his long interest in magic), and “Pride” (about his feelings for his sons’ accomplishments). O’Brien also writes often about his own father. One literary figure emerges as almost a member of the family: Ernest Hemingway. The author loves Hemingway’s work (except when he doesn’t) and often gives his sons some of Papa’s most celebrated stories to read and think and write about. Near the end is a kind of stand-alone essay about Hemingway’s writings about war and death, which O’Brien realizes is Hemingway’s real subject. Other celebrated literary figures pop up in the text, including Elizabeth Bishop, Andrew Marvell, George Orwell, and Flannery O’Connor. Although O’Brien’s strong anti-war feelings are prominent throughout, his principal interest is fatherhood—specifically, at becoming a father later in his life and realizing that he will miss so much of his sons’ lives. He includes touching and amusing stories about his toddler sons, about the sadness he felt when his older son became a teen and began to distance himself, and about his anguish when his sons failed at something.
A miscellany of paternal pride (and frustration) darkened by the author’s increasing realizations of his mortality.Pub Date: Oct. 14, 2019
ISBN: 978-0-618-03970-8
Page Count: 384
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Review Posted Online: July 27, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2019
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