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TOMBSTONE BLUES

Apart from the tin-eared dialogue, relentlessly arch without being funny, Hodgson (The Man Who Killed Shakespeare, 2007,...

Arsenic and Old Lace meets al-Qaida.

Fresh from her divorce to a soulless Houston lawyer and her job at a chain restaurant, Samantha Sterling hopes for new horizons managing the Sunset Bed and Breakfast in Tombstone, Ariz. Both the town and the B&B turn out to be aptly named indeed. As Samantha realizes when the only guest in residence suddenly keels over dead, Sidney Munson and Michael Herod, the 50ish gay couple who own the place together with Sidney’s mother, Esther, are nothing less than an assassination team for The Company. Your tax dollars, funneled through the CIA, send enemies of the American way of life—smugglers, terrorists, attorneys—to the Sunset, where they’re quietly dispatched, preferably by poison, by a crew determined to make initially aghast Samantha one of their number. Nor are Sidney and Michael the only Tombstone residents who nod off every night dreaming of homicide. Tex Birdsong, the retired longshoreman who lives nearby, lives for the date of his shrewish wife Fern’s funeral, and the clueless Tombstone Minutemen plot mayhem at every turn. After two routine rounds of executions, the Sunset circle gets word that an al-Qaida crew has procured a 30-megaton nuclear weapon that it plans to detonate in the area, and matters rapidly descend from the silly to the creepy as Samantha finds herself getting a taste for the work.

Apart from the tin-eared dialogue, relentlessly arch without being funny, Hodgson (The Man Who Killed Shakespeare, 2007, etc.) makes the first half genuinely amusing before those nuclear terrorists arrive and spoil it all.

Pub Date: Aug. 15, 2012

ISBN: 978-1-4328-2603-1

Page Count: 264

Publisher: Five Star/Gale Cengage

Review Posted Online: July 21, 2012

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 1, 2012

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A CONSPIRACY OF BONES

Forget about solving all these crimes; the signal triumph here is (spoiler) the heroine’s survival.

Another sweltering month in Charlotte, another boatload of mysteries past and present for overworked, overstressed forensic anthropologist Temperance Brennan.

A week after the night she chases but fails to catch a mysterious trespasser outside her town house, some unknown party texts Tempe four images of a corpse that looks as if it’s been chewed by wild hogs, because it has been. Showboat Medical Examiner Margot Heavner makes it clear that, breaking with her department’s earlier practice (The Bone Collection, 2016, etc.), she has no intention of calling in Tempe as a consultant and promptly identifies the faceless body herself as that of a young Asian man. Nettled by several errors in Heavner’s analysis, and even more by her willingness to share the gory details at a press conference, Tempe launches her own investigation, which is not so much off the books as against the books. Heavner isn’t exactly mollified when Tempe, aided by retired police detective Skinny Slidell and a host of experts, puts a name to the dead man. But the hints of other crimes Tempe’s identification uncovers, particularly crimes against children, spur her on to redouble her efforts despite the new M.E.’s splenetic outbursts. Before he died, it seems, Felix Vodyanov was linked to a passenger ferry that sank in 1994, an even earlier U.S. government project to research biological agents that could control human behavior, the hinky spiritual retreat Sparkling Waters, the dark web site DeepUnder, and the disappearances of at least four schoolchildren, two of whom have also turned up dead. And why on earth was Vodyanov carrying Tempe’s own contact information? The mounting evidence of ever more and ever worse skulduggery will pull Tempe deeper and deeper down what even she sees as a rabbit hole before she confronts a ringleader implicated in “Drugs. Fraud. Breaking and entering. Arson. Kidnapping. How does attempted murder sound?”

Forget about solving all these crimes; the signal triumph here is (spoiler) the heroine’s survival.

Pub Date: March 17, 2020

ISBN: 978-1-9821-3888-2

Page Count: 352

Publisher: Scribner

Review Posted Online: Dec. 22, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2020

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THE WINNER

Irritatingly trite woman-in-periler from lawyer-turned-novelist Baldacci. Moving away from the White House and the white-shoe Washington law firms of his previous bestsellers (Absolute Power, 1996; Total Control, 1997), Baldacci comes up with LuAnn Tyler, a spunky, impossibly beautiful, white-trash truck stop waitress with a no-good husband and a terminally cute infant daughter in tow. Some months after the birth of Lisa, LuAnn gets a phone call summoning her to a make-shift office in an unrented storefront of the local shopping mall. There, she gets a Faustian offer from a Mr. Jackson, a monomaniacal, cross-dressing manipulator who apparently knows the winning numbers in the national lottery before the numbers are drawn. It seems that LuAnn fits the media profile of what a lottery winner should be—poor, undereducated but proud—and if she's willing to buy the right ticket at the right time and transfer most of her winnings to Jackson, she'll be able to retire in luxury. Jackson fails to inform her, however, that if she refuses his offer, he'll have her killed. Before that can happen, as luck would have it, LuAnn barely escapes death when one of husband Duane's drug deals goes bad. She hops on a first-class Amtrak sleeper to Manhattan with a hired executioner in pursuit. But executioner Charlie, one of Jackson's paid handlers, can't help but hear wedding bells when he sees LuAnn cooing with her daughter. Alas, a winning $100- million lottery drawing complicates things. Jackson spirits LuAnn and Lisa away to Sweden, with Charlie in pursuit. Never fear. Not only will LuAnn escape a series of increasingly violent predicaments, but she'll also outwit Jackson, pay an enormous tax bill to the IRS, and have enough left over to honeymoon in Switzerland. Too preposterous to work as feminine wish-fulfillment, too formulaic to be suspenseful. (Book-of-the-Month Club main selection)

Pub Date: Dec. 2, 1997

ISBN: 0-446-52259-7

Page Count: 528

Publisher: N/A

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 1997

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