Not revolutionary, but nevertheless a well-written, sensible self-help guide.
A rational, clearly outlined debut guide to recognizing and tolerating the stress of everyday life.
For years, Costa has advised people on how to manage the stresses of family, work, loss, and the little everyday annoyances whose eventual accumulation might make sufferers want to tear their hair out. Presented as a set of practical strategies to get through the day and through life, this book will set readers back on the path to resilience. Costa sums up her program in an easy-to-remember acronym: RESET—realize, energize, soothe, end unproductive thinking, and talk it out. This guide, she argues, helps us realize that “we end up putting more effort into maintaining our cars and houses and even taking care of our pets than we do ourselves. We do everything and anything but attend to our own emotional health.” In service of this attention, alongside the familiar self-help anecdotes starring friends and case examples, Costa breaks down the RESET idea into simple charts that assist the reader in recognizing his or her “recipe” for stress. For example, “tons of coffee,” no exercise, a “rocky marriage,” alcohol, and only a few hours of sleep can add up to serious mental and emotional burnout. By changing just a few behaviors, stress levels can shrink to manageable levels, which is where therapy and positive self-talk come in. For those averse to talk therapy—Costa cites men who feel they have to “tough it out”—she points out how “Therapy is no longer an excavation of childhood skeletons, but a practical, proven, powerful way to facilitate emotional health by setting and achieving goals.” Although at first the book may be overwhelming to those in the throes of major stress, Costa provides blocked-out “Bottom Line” tidbits and sections that encourage one to “Dissect and Reflect,” thus breaking up the feeling that one must embark upon a huge life overhaul all at once. While her advice may not be new, Costa’s voice and the book’s structure will be useful to readers looking for a leg up.
Not revolutionary, but nevertheless a well-written, sensible self-help guide.Pub Date: Oct. 31, 2014
ISBN: 978-1-4917-4757-5
Page Count: 294
Publisher: iUniverse
Review Posted Online: Aug. 25, 2015
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.
A follow-on to the author’s garbled but popular 48 Laws of Power, promising that readers will learn how to win friends and influence people, to say nothing of outfoxing all those “toxic types” out in the world.
Greene (Mastery, 2012, etc.) begins with a big sell, averring that his book “is designed to immerse you in all aspects of human behavior and illuminate its root causes.” To gauge by this fat compendium, human behavior is mostly rotten, a presumption that fits with the author’s neo-Machiavellian program of self-validation and eventual strategic supremacy. The author works to formula: First, state a “law,” such as “confront your dark side” or “know your limits,” the latter of which seems pale compared to the Delphic oracle’s “nothing in excess.” Next, elaborate on that law with what might seem to be as plain as day: “Losing contact with reality, we make irrational decisions. That is why our success often does not last.” One imagines there might be other reasons for the evanescence of glory, but there you go. Finally, spin out a long tutelary yarn, seemingly the longer the better, to shore up the truism—in this case, the cometary rise and fall of one-time Disney CEO Michael Eisner, with the warning, “his fate could easily be yours, albeit most likely on a smaller scale,” which ranks right up there with the fortuneteller’s “I sense that someone you know has died" in orders of probability. It’s enough to inspire a new law: Beware of those who spend too much time telling you what you already know, even when it’s dressed up in fresh-sounding terms. “Continually mix the visceral with the analytic” is the language of a consultant’s report, more important-sounding than “go with your gut but use your head, too.”
The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.Pub Date: Oct. 23, 2018
ISBN: 978-0-525-42814-5
Page Count: 580
Publisher: Viking
Review Posted Online: July 30, 2018
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2018
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.
More life reflections from the bestselling author on themes of societal captivity and the catharsis of personal freedom.
In her third book, Doyle (Love Warrior, 2016, etc.) begins with a life-changing event. “Four years ago,” she writes, “married to the father of my three children, I fell in love with a woman.” That woman, Abby Wambach, would become her wife. Emblematically arranged into three sections—“Caged,” “Keys,” “Freedom”—the narrative offers, among other elements, vignettes about the soulful author’s girlhood, when she was bulimic and felt like a zoo animal, a “caged girl made for wide-open skies.” She followed the path that seemed right and appropriate based on her Catholic upbringing and adolescent conditioning. After a downward spiral into “drinking, drugging, and purging,” Doyle found sobriety and the authentic self she’d been suppressing. Still, there was trouble: Straining an already troubled marriage was her husband’s infidelity, which eventually led to life-altering choices and the discovery of a love she’d never experienced before. Throughout the book, Doyle remains open and candid, whether she’s admitting to rigging a high school homecoming court election or denouncing the doting perfectionism of “cream cheese parenting,” which is about “giving your children the best of everything.” The author’s fears and concerns are often mirrored by real-world issues: gender roles and bias, white privilege, racism, and religion-fueled homophobia and hypocrisy. Some stories merely skim the surface of larger issues, but Doyle revisits them in later sections and digs deeper, using friends and familial references to personify their impact on her life, both past and present. Shorter pieces, some only a page in length, manage to effectively translate an emotional gut punch, as when Doyle’s therapist called her blooming extramarital lesbian love a “dangerous distraction.” Ultimately, the narrative is an in-depth look at a courageous woman eager to share the wealth of her experiences by embracing vulnerability and reclaiming her inner strength and resiliency.
Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.Pub Date: March 10, 2020
ISBN: 978-1-9848-0125-8
Page Count: 352
Publisher: Dial Books
Review Posted Online: Dec. 21, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2020
PROFILES
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SEEN & HEARD
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