DON'T LICK THE MINIVAN by Leanne Shirtliffe


And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids
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An entertaining look at raising twins.

Humor blogger Shirtliffe, who writes for the Huffington Post, the Calgary Herald and other publications, opens the door to her family life with a droll take on parenting twins from pregnancy through kindergarten. Pregnant in Thailand, during her fifth month, she felt like "a walking Astrodome”; by week 37, she writes, "I'd been weighed by two Thai nurses whose combined mass equaled one of my thighs." After a year in Bangkok, Shirtliffe and her family traveled from Thailand to Alberta, Canada, where life with their children took on the inevitable roller-coaster ride of new parents and toddlers. Anecdotal reflections on breast-feeding, car trips, airplane flights, fingernail cuttings, and "poo and puke" are just some of the many moments Shirtliffe recalls in detail. Numerous parenting tips include "on long trips, let your children eat whatever processed crap you can get your hands on," pretend you're on Survivor since "to help you survive raising children, you need to 'outwit, outplay, outlast' them each day," and "as long as your child isn't the worst in his class, he will succeed. If he is the worst, drink more wine." Amid the humor are frank confessions of Shirtliffe's dips into postpartum depression and her frequent assessment of her ability to be a good mom to two normal kids. But with the help of her husband, family members and friends, the author remembers that "it is all a stage: the small stuff (like sleeplessness and toxic diapers) and the big stuff (your child's dependence and even your life), and the most important thing to do is laugh.”

Mostly witty commentary on the common ups and downs of being a new parent, times two.

Pub Date: May 1st, 2013
ISBN: 978-1-62087-526-1
Page count: 304pp
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing
Review Posted Online:
Kirkus Reviews Issue: April 1st, 2013


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