An insider’s impassioned, worthwhile look at the impact of the secrets revealed by DNA testing.
A DNA test reveals a surprise about a woman’s parentage.
The title of this blend of memoir and self-help guide is an acronym from the world of genealogy and genetics. A “non-paternity event” describes an individual whose biological father turns out to be someone other than the person listed on the birth certificate. Hay became an NPE when a commercial DNA test revealed that her biological father was her mother’s employer, a family friend she had grown up calling Uncle Tom. (His name, like most in the book, is a pseudonym.) The discovery stunned the author, who began reaching out to her half siblings and reevaluating her childhood memories. The volume moves between Hay’s account of coming to terms with a new understanding of herself and her somewhat dysfunctional family and a broader look at unexpected paternity and how people can and should respond to it. The author shares anecdotes from other NPEs that offer a variety of perspectives as well as a glance at the historical construction of paternity and legitimacy. The book is full of advice for NPEs (do reach out to newly discovered relatives in writing rather than showing up on their doorsteps; avoid paying for expensive genealogy services while emotions are high) and their friends and families. The text is acronym-heavy—“I wrote this to convey support and offer help to an NPE regarding her BM (her BCF had passed away before her discovery)”—and could have used some editorial polishing. Still, Hay’s knowledge and enthusiasm for her subject are evident. The author is strongest in telling the story of her family and exploring the intense emotions triggered by her discovery. She describes her feelings in detail and assesses what was most helpful as she hunted for answers to her questions of identity and belonging. While other books take a more comprehensive approach to investigating commercial DNA testing and the growing number of paternity surprises, Hay’s work is best suited to serving as a guide to NPEs in search of an experienced voice of reassurance and support as they adapt to their new realities.
An insider’s impassioned, worthwhile look at the impact of the secrets revealed by DNA testing.Pub Date: Oct. 15, 2021
ISBN: 978-1-64718-608-1
Page Count: 266
Publisher: Booklocker.com
Review Posted Online: June 22, 2022
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.
A follow-on to the author’s garbled but popular 48 Laws of Power, promising that readers will learn how to win friends and influence people, to say nothing of outfoxing all those “toxic types” out in the world.
Greene (Mastery, 2012, etc.) begins with a big sell, averring that his book “is designed to immerse you in all aspects of human behavior and illuminate its root causes.” To gauge by this fat compendium, human behavior is mostly rotten, a presumption that fits with the author’s neo-Machiavellian program of self-validation and eventual strategic supremacy. The author works to formula: First, state a “law,” such as “confront your dark side” or “know your limits,” the latter of which seems pale compared to the Delphic oracle’s “nothing in excess.” Next, elaborate on that law with what might seem to be as plain as day: “Losing contact with reality, we make irrational decisions. That is why our success often does not last.” One imagines there might be other reasons for the evanescence of glory, but there you go. Finally, spin out a long tutelary yarn, seemingly the longer the better, to shore up the truism—in this case, the cometary rise and fall of one-time Disney CEO Michael Eisner, with the warning, “his fate could easily be yours, albeit most likely on a smaller scale,” which ranks right up there with the fortuneteller’s “I sense that someone you know has died" in orders of probability. It’s enough to inspire a new law: Beware of those who spend too much time telling you what you already know, even when it’s dressed up in fresh-sounding terms. “Continually mix the visceral with the analytic” is the language of a consultant’s report, more important-sounding than “go with your gut but use your head, too.”
The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.Pub Date: Oct. 23, 2018
ISBN: 978-0-525-42814-5
Page Count: 580
Publisher: Viking
Review Posted Online: July 30, 2018
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2018
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
Perhaps not magic but appealing nonetheless.
Want to get ahead in business? Consult a dictionary.
By Wharton School professor Berger’s account, much of the art of persuasion lies in the art of choosing the right word. Want to jump ahead of others waiting in line to use a photocopy machine, even if they’re grizzled New Yorkers? Throw a because into the equation (“Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine, because I’m in a rush?”), and you’re likely to get your way. Want someone to do your copying for you? Then change your verbs to nouns: not “Can you help me?” but “Can you be a helper?” As Berger notes, there’s a subtle psychological shift at play when a person becomes not a mere instrument in helping but instead acquires an identity as a helper. It’s the little things, one supposes, and the author offers some interesting strategies that eager readers will want to try out. Instead of alienating a listener with the omniscient should, as in “You should do this,” try could instead: “Well, you could…” induces all concerned “to recognize that there might be other possibilities.” Berger’s counsel that one should use abstractions contradicts his admonition to use concrete language, and it doesn’t help matters to say that each is appropriate to a particular situation, while grammarians will wince at his suggestion that a nerve-calming exercise to “try talking to yourself in the third person (‘You can do it!’)” in fact invokes the second person. Still, there are plenty of useful insights, particularly for students of advertising and public speaking. It’s intriguing to note that appeals to God are less effective in securing a loan than a simple affirmative such as “I pay all bills…on time”), and it’s helpful to keep in mind that “the right words used at the right time can have immense power.”
Perhaps not magic but appealing nonetheless.Pub Date: March 7, 2023
ISBN: 9780063204935
Page Count: 256
Publisher: Harper Business
Review Posted Online: March 23, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: April 15, 2023
© Copyright 2025 Kirkus Media LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Follow
Popular in this Genre
We can’t wait for you to join Kirkus!
It’s free and takes less than 10 seconds!
Already have an account? Log in.
OR
Sign in with GoogleTrouble signing in? Retrieve credentials.
Welcome Back!
OR
Sign in with GoogleTrouble signing in? Retrieve credentials.
