An earnestly didactic case study about homophobia. Mary Griffith, a mother of four in the suburbs of San Francisco, was a conservative Presbyterian who viewed her son Bobby's homosexuality as an affliction of which only faith and prayer could cure him. Raised to be a devout Christian, Bobby came out to his family when he was 15; he spent the next five years in various degrees of torment, largely caused by the staunch conviction of his mother and his church that ``you can't love God and be a homosexual.'' In 1983, at age 20, he killed himself. Aarons, a playwright and founder of the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association, uses excerpts from Bobby's diaries and the testimony of his friends and siblings to paint a portrait of a gregarious, creative, but supremely alienated adolescent whose attempts to forge a coherent identity were sabotaged by the internalized message that being gay was wrong. The book focuses on Mary's transformation, in the wake of Bobby's suicide, from bigoted Bible-thumper to compassionate activist for gay youth and spokesperson for Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (P-FLAG). At first she searched the dogma she had absorbed over the years to understand why God hadn't ``cured'' her son; eventually she figured out that Bobby hadn't been responsible for his homosexuality and that she had been wrong to condemn him. Over several years Mary found more liberal churches and other parents who helped her deal with her grief, and she began pleading publicly for tolerance of gays and lesbians, at town meetings and on Sally Jessy Raphael, recounting her own tragedy to warn others of the fatal consequences of ignorance and homophobia. (For an account of another P-FLAG parent, see Robert Bernstein's Straight Parents/Gay Children, p. 520.) Glumly informative in tone and only intermittently affecting, though Aarons effectively drives home the sad point that Bobby's death is only one in an avoidable epidemic of gay teen suicides. (photos, not seen)
Pub Date: June 1, 1995
ISBN: 0-06-251122-X
Page Count: 274
Publisher: N/A
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: April 15, 1995
A vivid sequel that strains credulity.
Fremont (After Long Silence, 1999) continues—and alters—her story of how memories of the Holocaust affected her family.
At the age of 44, the author learned that her father had disowned her, declaring her “predeceased”—or dead in his eyes—in his will. It was his final insult: Her parents had stopped speaking to her after she’d published After Long Silence, which exposed them as Jewish Holocaust survivors who had posed as Catholics in Europe and America in order to hide multilayered secrets. Here, Fremont delves further into her tortured family dynamics and shows how the rift developed. One thread centers on her life after her harrowing childhood: her education at Wellesley and Boston University, the loss of her virginity to a college boyfriend before accepting her lesbianism, her stint with the Peace Corps in Lesotho, and her decades of work as a lawyer in Boston. Another strand involves her fraught relationship with her sister, Lara, and how their difficulties relate to their father, a doctor embittered after years in the Siberian gulag; and their mother, deeply enmeshed with her own sister, Zosia, who had married an Italian count and stayed in Rome to raise a child. Fremont tells these stories with novelistic flair, ending with a surprising theory about why her parents hid their Judaism. Yet she often appears insensitive to the serious problems she says Lara once faced, including suicidal depression. “The whole point of suicide, I thought, was to succeed at it,” she writes. “My sister’s completion rate was pathetic.” Key facts also differ from those in her earlier work. After Long Silence says, for example, that the author grew up “in a small city in the Midwest” while she writes here that she grew up in “upstate New York,” changes Fremont says she made for “consistency” in the new book but that muddy its narrative waters. The discrepancies may not bother readers seeking psychological insights rather than factual accuracy, but others will wonder if this book should have been labeled a fictionalized autobiography rather than a memoir.
A vivid sequel that strains credulity.Pub Date: Feb. 11, 2020
ISBN: 978-1-982113-60-5
Page Count: 352
Publisher: Gallery Books/Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: Oct. 20, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 15, 2019
BOOK REVIEW
A straightforward tale of kindness and paying it forward in 1980s New York.
When advertising executive Schroff answered a child’s request for spare change by inviting him for lunch, she did not expect the encounter to grow into a friendship that would endure into his adulthood. The author recounts how she and Maurice, a promising boy from a drug-addicted family, learned to trust each other. Schroff acknowledges risks—including the possibility of her actions being misconstrued and the tension of crossing socio-economic divides—but does not dwell on the complexities of homelessness or the philosophical problems of altruism. She does not question whether public recognition is beneficial, or whether it is sufficient for the recipient to realize the extent of what has been done. With the assistance of People human-interest writer Tresniowski (Tiger Virtues, 2005, etc.), Schroff adheres to a personal narrative that traces her troubled relationship with her father, her meetings with Maurice and his background, all while avoiding direct parallels, noting that their childhoods differed in severity even if they shared similar emotional voids. With feel-good dramatizations, the story seldom transcends the message that reaching out makes a difference. It is framed in simple terms, from attributing the first meeting to “two people with complicated pasts and fragile dreams” that were “somehow meant to be friends” to the conclusion that love is a driving force. Admirably, Schroff notes that she did not seek a role as a “substitute parent,” and she does not judge Maurice’s mother for her lifestyle. That both main figures experience a few setbacks yet eventually survive is never in question; the story fittingly concludes with an epilogue by Maurice. For readers seeking an uplifting reminder that small gestures matter.
Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2011
ISBN: 978-1-4516-4251-3
Page Count: 288
Publisher: Howard Books/Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: July 26, 2011
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 2011
BOOK REVIEW
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