A calm, wise, and empathetic guide to a difficult period for both adolescents and parents.
Solid reassurance for parents of teenagers.
Psychologist Damour, author of two parenting books about raising girls, Untangled and Under Pressure, and mother of two teenage daughters, draws on 30 years of clinical experience to offer a practical, thoughtful guide for parents. From the beginning, the author asserts that uncomfortable feelings are not things that should be prevented or that need to be quickly banished. “Mental health,” she explains, “is not about feeling good. Instead, it’s about having the right feelings at the right time and being able to manage those feelings effectively.” Teenagers normally experience “pronounced highs and lows,” resulting from profound neurological changes, and their efforts to separate from parents and develop their own identity can make them seem hostile and self-absorbed. Throughout the book, Damour offers examples of the problems that parents and teenagers bring to her practice and the strategies that she proposes to help parents cope with their own distress and to help teenagers find healthy ways to express and control their emotions. Biology and socialization account for differences in the ways children express emotions, with girls more likely encouraged “to express sadness and fear,” repress anger, and “talk about feelings when they are upset.” On the other hand, “we teach boys to suppress feelings of vulnerability, expect them to be aggressive, and, when they’re distressed, encourage them to use distraction or to find other ways to tough it out.” Both boys and girls, however, benefit from talking—even venting—naming their emotions, and having a parent actively listen: “By the time teens are telling us that they feel anxious or angry or sad or any other emotion they choose to put into words, they’re already using an effective strategy for helping themselves cope with it.” Damour offers advice on how to deal with a range of issues, including teens’ risk-taking, experiencing harassment, feeling low self-esteem, and expressing a nontraditional gender identity.
A calm, wise, and empathetic guide to a difficult period for both adolescents and parents.Pub Date: Feb. 21, 2023
ISBN: 9780593500019
Page Count: 256
Publisher: Ballantine
Review Posted Online: Dec. 19, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2023
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our...
A psychologist and Nobel Prize winner summarizes and synthesizes the recent decades of research on intuition and systematic thinking.
The author of several scholarly texts, Kahneman (Emeritus Psychology and Public Affairs/Princeton Univ.) now offers general readers not just the findings of psychological research but also a better understanding of how research questions arise and how scholars systematically frame and answer them. He begins with the distinction between System 1 and System 2 mental operations, the former referring to quick, automatic thought, the latter to more effortful, overt thinking. We rely heavily, writes, on System 1, resorting to the higher-energy System 2 only when we need or want to. Kahneman continually refers to System 2 as “lazy”: We don’t want to think rigorously about something. The author then explores the nuances of our two-system minds, showing how they perform in various situations. Psychological experiments have repeatedly revealed that our intuitions are generally wrong, that our assessments are based on biases and that our System 1 hates doubt and despises ambiguity. Kahneman largely avoids jargon; when he does use some (“heuristics,” for example), he argues that such terms really ought to join our everyday vocabulary. He reviews many fundamental concepts in psychology and statistics (regression to the mean, the narrative fallacy, the optimistic bias), showing how they relate to his overall concerns about how we think and why we make the decisions that we do. Some of the later chapters (dealing with risk-taking and statistics and probabilities) are denser than others (some readers may resent such demands on System 2!), but the passages that deal with the economic and political implications of the research are gripping.
Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our minds.Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2011
ISBN: 978-0-374-27563-1
Page Count: 512
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Review Posted Online: Sept. 3, 2011
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 2011
BOOK REVIEW
IN THE NEWS
IN THE NEWS
These are not hard and fast rules, but Meyer delivers important reading for those engaged in international business.
A helpful guide to working effectively with people from other cultures.
“The sad truth is that the vast majority of managers who conduct business internationally have little understanding about how culture is impacting their work,” writes Meyer, a professor at INSEAD, an international business school. Yet they face a wider array of work styles than ever before in dealing with clients, suppliers and colleagues from around the world. When is it best to speak or stay quiet? What is the role of the leader in the room? When working with foreign business people, failing to take cultural differences into account can lead to frustration, misunderstanding or worse. Based on research and her experiences teaching cross-cultural behaviors to executive students, the author examines a handful of key areas. Among others, they include communicating (Anglo-Saxons are explicit; Asians communicate implicitly, requiring listeners to read between the lines), developing a sense of trust (Brazilians do it over long lunches), and decision-making (Germans rely on consensus, Americans on one decider). In each area, the author provides a “culture map scale” that positions behaviors in more than 20 countries along a continuum, allowing readers to anticipate the preferences of individuals from a particular country: Do they like direct or indirect negative feedback? Are they rigid or flexible regarding deadlines? Do they favor verbal or written commitments? And so on. Meyer discusses managers who have faced perplexing situations, such as knowledgeable team members who fail to speak up in meetings or Indians who offer a puzzling half-shake, half-nod of the head. Cultural differences—not personality quirks—are the motivating factors behind many behavioral styles. Depending on our cultures, we understand the world in a particular way, find certain arguments persuasive or lacking merit, and consider some ways of making decisions or measuring time natural and others quite strange.
These are not hard and fast rules, but Meyer delivers important reading for those engaged in international business.Pub Date: May 27, 2014
ISBN: 978-1-61039-250-1
Page Count: 288
Publisher: PublicAffairs
Review Posted Online: April 15, 2014
Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 1, 2014
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