DON’T FORGET TO DANCE

A UNIQUE ALZHEIMER’S JOURNEY—FROM BIZARRE TO BLISSFUL

by Marc Alderdice ‧ RELEASE DATE: N/A

A husband strives to make the right care choices after his wife is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in this debut memoir.

At the age of 59, Alderdice’s wife of 34 years was found to have early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. The initial symptoms were subtle. The author, a pharmacologist, first began to suspect something was wrong while traveling to Texas for his father’s funeral. His wife, Mary, insisted that she would wear the same “stretched out” sweatpants in which she had chosen to travel to attend the service. She later began misplacing things and asking the same question repeatedly. In addition, her once-broad vocabulary grew limited. These issues became “the elephant in the room” until Mary made the decision to be evaluated. The memoir charts her decline in health, which included psychiatric manifestations, such as believing herself to be a little girl and referring to her husband as “Uncle Marc.” Along with adopting other identities, she also became anxious and mistrustful and began believing that Alderdice was beating her. The author recognized the necessity of moving his wife into an assisted living facility and, as her communication skills deteriorated further, to a specialized memory care unit. Three to four years after moving to memory care, Alderdice writes of experiencing a “special time” with Mary, who had then been “taken off all major psychotropic medications.” The two communicated by touch and by “talking with our eyes.” The author writes of making a new, deeper connection through nonverbal interactions that seemed to bypass the part of his wife’s “brain affected by Alzheimer’s.”

The subject matter of this work is unavoidably distressing, but Alderdice maintains a positive tone throughout, embracing the seize-the-day sentiment suggested in the book’s title: “Make the most of everything you love—the ‘dancing’ in your life—developing strong relationships and creating great memories that will last as long as possible.” The author has a levelheaded writing style, describing his physical and emotional states clearly and without unnecessary adornment: “I was starting to reach a point where endurance wasn’t enough, where I felt constantly worn out and isolated.” Caretakers will relate to Alderdice’s spectrum of emotions, from a sense of “loss and loneliness” to feelings of guilt and regret. There are occasions when the author could express himself more gracefully; for instance, recounting when Mary relocated to assisted care, Alderdice notes: “I never before realized how much room Mary’s missing hairbrush and toothbrush took up on the vanity—there were now gaping holes.” These marginally awkward sentences are rare and do not significantly detract from a well-written, uplifting memoir. The author is keenly aware that with regard to Alzheimer’s, “no two stories are the same,” but his personal experience demonstrates that the trajectory of the disease does not always take the shape of a continuous downward spiral. The suggestion that a higher plane “of happiness” may be achieved on a journey that presented “horrific times” may offer hope to those facing similar circumstances.

A tenderly observant account that champions the power of love in the face of adversity.

Pub Date: N/A

ISBN: N/A

Page Count: 328

Publisher: Manuscript

Review Posted Online: Sept. 2, 2020

Review Program: Kirkus Indie

Categories:

BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR | GENERAL BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR