Intimately and immensely powerful.

In the aftermath of yet another incident of police brutality, a teen tries to find her way forward.

Sadie was already managing generalized anxiety when, while being dumped by the girlfriend who made her feel safe, she witnesses police violently attacking another Black girl. The events trigger a debilitating panic that prevents her from leaving home, even to attend the protest that she wants to participate in. Instead of spending the summer interning at the local creative writing center, Sadie has to relearn how to exist in the world as a bisexual Black person with anxiety and agoraphobia and, eventually, how to use her voice, find joy, and move beyond the safety of her home. Despite the physically contained setting of the majority of the book—Sadie initially struggles to even reach the backyard—her Oakland, California, community is richly and authentically textured, with most of the characters cued as Black or brown. Verse narration is intercut with text from Sadie’s social media posts, effectively capturing the nature of contemporary organizing and community-building. Nuanced depictions of intercommunity tensions—between Sadie’s empathetic dad and her brusque mom, between her bold, activist, nonbinary best friend and her tentative, Black transracial adoptee new crush—help propel the narrative. Lockington’s real achievement here, though, is the tenderness with which she captures the utter vulnerability, strength, and beauty of a “sad, anxious Black girl.”

Intimately and immensely powerful. (Verse fiction. 12-18)

Pub Date: May 23, 2023

ISBN: 9780374388881

Page Count: 416

Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux

Review Posted Online: Feb. 24, 2023

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 15, 2023


A heavy read about the harsh realities of tragedy and their effects on those left behind.

In this companion novel to 2013’s If He Had Been With Me, three characters tell their sides of the story.

Finn’s narrative starts three days before his death. He explores the progress of his unrequited love for best friend Autumn up until the day he finally expresses his feelings. Finn’s story ends with his tragic death, which leaves his close friends devastated, unmoored, and uncertain how to go on. Jack’s section follows, offering a heartbreaking look at what it’s like to live with grief. Jack works to overcome the anger he feels toward Sylvie, the girlfriend Finn was breaking up with when he died, and Autumn, the girl he was preparing to build his life around (but whom Jack believed wasn’t good enough for Finn). But when Jack sees how Autumn’s grief matches his own, it changes their understanding of one another. Autumn’s chapters trace her life without Finn as readers follow her struggles with mental health and balancing love and loss. Those who have read the earlier book will better connect with and feel for these characters, particularly since they’ll have a more well-rounded impression of Finn. The pain and anger is well written, and the novel highlights the most troublesome aspects of young adulthood: overconfidence sprinkled with heavy insecurities, fear-fueled decisions, bad communication, and brash judgments. Characters are cued white.

A heavy read about the harsh realities of tragedy and their effects on those left behind. (author’s note, content warning) (Fiction. 14-18)

Pub Date: Feb. 6, 2024

ISBN: 9781728276229

Page Count: 416

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Review Posted Online: Jan. 5, 2024

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2024


There’s not much plot here, but readers will relish the opportunity to climb inside Autumn’s head.

The finely drawn characters capture readers’ attention in this debut.

Autumn and Phineas, nicknamed Finny, were born a week apart; their mothers are still best friends. Growing up, Autumn and Finny were like peas in a pod despite their differences: Autumn is “quirky and odd,” while Finny is “sweet and shy and everyone like[s] him.” But in eighth grade, Autumn and Finny stop being friends due to an unexpected kiss. They drift apart and find new friends, but their friendship keeps asserting itself at parties, shared holiday gatherings and random encounters. In the summer after graduation, Autumn and Finny reconnect and are finally ready to be more than friends. But on August 8, everything changes, and Autumn has to rely on all her strength to move on. Autumn’s coming-of-age is sensitively chronicled, with a wide range of experiences and events shaping her character. Even secondary characters are well-rounded, with their own histories and motivations.

There’s not much plot here, but readers will relish the opportunity to climb inside Autumn’s head.   (Fiction. 14 & up)

Pub Date: April 1, 2013

ISBN: 978-1-4022-7782-5

Page Count: 336

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Review Posted Online: Feb. 12, 2013

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2013

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