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SINGLE BUT DATING

A FIELD GUIDE TO DATING IN THE DIGITAL AGE

Savvy, contemporary, and worthwhile advice on the many facets of the dating life for women.

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A debut guide offers safe and effective dating strategies for the single woman.

In this highly modern take on female singlehood, Goldstein, a well-known Australian doctor of human sexuality who also has a background in family mediation, asks her readers to examine their own histories, desires, and motives as they embrace the “single but dating” lifestyle. As a not traditionally “paired” but sexually active woman, the author noticed that the “single” designation often seemed to elicit pity or shame, but none of the other options (in Facebook parlance, In a Relationship, Married, or It’s Complicated) applied either. She presents the term SBD as shorthand for a lifestyle in which a woman is actively engaged in relationships with the opposite sex. This can include sexual encounters that are extremely casual as well as others that move more slowly and/or have more emotional involvement. Goldstein speaks from experience. Beyond her doctorate and family mediation career, she also personally explored the SBD life and her own perspectives on it, ultimately undergoing important growth and finding a long-term, fulfilling relationship. The book conveys the convincing message that SBD women will do well to seek true self-confidence by understanding their own conditioning, wants, and needs and by learning how to communicate honestly and adroitly with potential or actual partners. This frank and detailed guide succeeds at delivering a balanced discussion of many relationship types, sexual pleasures, and common-sense cautions. A diverse array of often skirted topics—such as sexually transmitted diseases, masturbation, pregnancy risk, egg freezing, and sexual fantasies—is deftly handled alongside considerations of how to communicate meaningfully, avoid dangerous personality types, move on after a breakup, and recognize the readiness for a serious relationship. The first several chapters provide useful exercises in self-exploration, such as jotting down “shoulds” and “should nots” of dating and identifying external sources of these expectations (for example, family, friends, or media). Social media and communication via texting and even sexting, realities of today’s dating scene, are covered skillfully and extensively as well.

Savvy, contemporary, and worthwhile advice on the many facets of the dating life for women.

Pub Date: May 31, 2017

ISBN: 978-0-9972962-5-9

Page Count: 215

Publisher: Nothing But The Truth Publishing

Review Posted Online: March 31, 2017

Kirkus Reviews Issue: June 1, 2017

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WHEN BREATH BECOMES AIR

A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular...

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A neurosurgeon with a passion for literature tragically finds his perfect subject after his diagnosis of terminal lung cancer.

Writing isn’t brain surgery, but it’s rare when someone adept at the latter is also so accomplished at the former. Searching for meaning and purpose in his life, Kalanithi pursued a doctorate in literature and had felt certain that he wouldn’t enter the field of medicine, in which his father and other members of his family excelled. “But I couldn’t let go of the question,” he writes, after realizing that his goals “didn’t quite fit in an English department.” “Where did biology, morality, literature and philosophy intersect?” So he decided to set aside his doctoral dissertation and belatedly prepare for medical school, which “would allow me a chance to find answers that are not in books, to find a different sort of sublime, to forge relationships with the suffering, and to keep following the question of what makes human life meaningful, even in the face of death and decay.” The author’s empathy undoubtedly made him an exceptional doctor, and the precision of his prose—as well as the moral purpose underscoring it—suggests that he could have written a good book on any subject he chose. Part of what makes this book so essential is the fact that it was written under a death sentence following the diagnosis that upended his life, just as he was preparing to end his residency and attract offers at the top of his profession. Kalanithi learned he might have 10 years to live or perhaps five. Should he return to neurosurgery (he could and did), or should he write (he also did)? Should he and his wife have a baby? They did, eight months before he died, which was less than two years after the original diagnosis. “The fact of death is unsettling,” he understates. “Yet there is no other way to live.”

A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular clarity.

Pub Date: Jan. 19, 2016

ISBN: 978-0-8129-8840-6

Page Count: 248

Publisher: Random House

Review Posted Online: Sept. 29, 2015

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2015

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PERMISSION TO FEEL

UNLOCKING THE POWER OF EMOTIONS TO HELP OUR KIDS, OURSELVES, AND OUR SOCIETY THRIVE

An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.

An analysis of our emotions and the skills required to understand them.

We all have emotions, but how many of us have the vocabulary to accurately describe our experiences or to understand how our emotions affect the way we act? In this guide to help readers with their emotions, Brackett, the founding director of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, presents a five-step method he calls R.U.L.E.R.: We need to recognize our emotions, understand what has caused them, be able to label them with precise terms and descriptions, know how to safely and effectively express them, and be able to regulate them in productive ways. The author walks readers through each step and provides an intriguing tool to use to help identify a specific emotion. Brackett introduces a four-square grid called a Mood Meter, which allows one to define where an emotion falls based on pleasantness and energy. He also uses four colors for each quadrant: yellow for high pleasantness and high energy, red for low pleasantness and high energy, green for high pleasantness and low energy, and blue for low pleasantness and low energy. The idea is to identify where an emotion lies in this grid in order to put the R.U.L.E.R. method to good use. The author’s research is wide-ranging, and his interweaving of his personal story with the data helps make the book less academic and more accessible to general readers. It’s particularly useful for parents and teachers who want to help children learn to handle difficult emotions so that they can thrive rather than be overwhelmed by them. The author’s system will also find use in the workplace. “Emotions are the most powerful force inside the workplace—as they are in every human endeavor,” writes Brackett. “They influence everything from leadership effectiveness to building and maintaining complex relationships, from innovation to customer relations.”

An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.

Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2019

ISBN: 978-1-250-21284-9

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Celadon Books

Review Posted Online: June 22, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2019

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