Inspirational and candid information on a topic most of us never want to think about until we are forced to confront it.
The latest installment of the TED Books series is a book “not just for those who have survived the death of a spouse, but for anyone who has loved someone who died, or who has loved someone who loved someone who died.”
In the space of a few months, McInerny (It's Okay to Laugh: (Crying Is Cool Too), 2016, etc.) lost a pregnancy, her father, and her husband. Understandably falling into a deep pit of grief, she discovered others who were stuck there as well. While she slowly rebuilt her life, she noticed that while there are plenty of assumptions about mourning and grieving people, there was no playbook for the aggrieved. In this concise exploration of “foundational loss,” the author shares her thoughts on how she made it through her most difficult moments and provides readers with the guidelines that worked for her—and didn’t. Although the subject makes for tough reading, McInerny approaches it with practicality (“order as many death certificates as you can afford”) and humor (“you have no idea how hard it is to prove someone is dead until your person dies”). Refreshingly, she breaks this grim and challenging topic into bite-sized pieces. She counsels readers to tell your loved ones that you really are not OK, that it is normal to feel like your brain is overloaded, and what to write in a sympathy card (there’s a template for those at a loss for words). Even though the book is short—as all TED Books are—it includes an impressive amount of helpful information about how anyone can deal with grief. It should be required reading for nearly everyone, since, sadly, “everyone you know will die and…each death will bring a fresh new brand of grief.”
Inspirational and candid information on a topic most of us never want to think about until we are forced to confront it.Pub Date: April 30, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-982109-98-1
Page Count: 112
Publisher: TED/Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: Feb. 2, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 15, 2019
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.
A follow-on to the author’s garbled but popular 48 Laws of Power, promising that readers will learn how to win friends and influence people, to say nothing of outfoxing all those “toxic types” out in the world.
Greene (Mastery, 2012, etc.) begins with a big sell, averring that his book “is designed to immerse you in all aspects of human behavior and illuminate its root causes.” To gauge by this fat compendium, human behavior is mostly rotten, a presumption that fits with the author’s neo-Machiavellian program of self-validation and eventual strategic supremacy. The author works to formula: First, state a “law,” such as “confront your dark side” or “know your limits,” the latter of which seems pale compared to the Delphic oracle’s “nothing in excess.” Next, elaborate on that law with what might seem to be as plain as day: “Losing contact with reality, we make irrational decisions. That is why our success often does not last.” One imagines there might be other reasons for the evanescence of glory, but there you go. Finally, spin out a long tutelary yarn, seemingly the longer the better, to shore up the truism—in this case, the cometary rise and fall of one-time Disney CEO Michael Eisner, with the warning, “his fate could easily be yours, albeit most likely on a smaller scale,” which ranks right up there with the fortuneteller’s “I sense that someone you know has died" in orders of probability. It’s enough to inspire a new law: Beware of those who spend too much time telling you what you already know, even when it’s dressed up in fresh-sounding terms. “Continually mix the visceral with the analytic” is the language of a consultant’s report, more important-sounding than “go with your gut but use your head, too.”
The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.Pub Date: Oct. 23, 2018
ISBN: 978-0-525-42814-5
Page Count: 580
Publisher: Viking
Review Posted Online: July 30, 2018
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2018
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should...
Greene (The 33 Strategies of War, 2007, etc.) believes that genius can be learned if we pay attention and reject social conformity.
The author suggests that our emergence as a species with stereoscopic, frontal vision and sophisticated hand-eye coordination gave us an advantage over earlier humans and primates because it allowed us to contemplate a situation and ponder alternatives for action. This, along with the advantages conferred by mirror neurons, which allow us to intuit what others may be thinking, contributed to our ability to learn, pass on inventions to future generations and improve our problem-solving ability. Throughout most of human history, we were hunter-gatherers, and our brains are engineered accordingly. The author has a jaundiced view of our modern technological society, which, he writes, encourages quick, rash judgments. We fail to spend the time needed to develop thorough mastery of a subject. Greene writes that every human is “born unique,” with specific potential that we can develop if we listen to our inner voice. He offers many interesting but tendentious examples to illustrate his theory, including Einstein, Darwin, Mozart and Temple Grandin. In the case of Darwin, Greene ignores the formative intellectual influences that shaped his thought, including the discovery of geological evolution with which he was familiar before his famous voyage. The author uses Grandin's struggle to overcome autistic social handicaps as a model for the necessity for everyone to create a deceptive social mask.
Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should beware of the author's quirky, sometimes misleading brush-stroke characterizations.Pub Date: Nov. 13, 2012
ISBN: 978-0-670-02496-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Viking
Review Posted Online: Sept. 12, 2012
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 1, 2012
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
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