Inspirational and candid information on a topic most of us never want to think about until we are forced to confront it.
The latest installment of the TED Books series is a book “not just for those who have survived the death of a spouse, but for anyone who has loved someone who died, or who has loved someone who loved someone who died.”
In the space of a few months, McInerny (It's Okay to Laugh: (Crying Is Cool Too), 2016, etc.) lost a pregnancy, her father, and her husband. Understandably falling into a deep pit of grief, she discovered others who were stuck there as well. While she slowly rebuilt her life, she noticed that while there are plenty of assumptions about mourning and grieving people, there was no playbook for the aggrieved. In this concise exploration of “foundational loss,” the author shares her thoughts on how she made it through her most difficult moments and provides readers with the guidelines that worked for her—and didn’t. Although the subject makes for tough reading, McInerny approaches it with practicality (“order as many death certificates as you can afford”) and humor (“you have no idea how hard it is to prove someone is dead until your person dies”). Refreshingly, she breaks this grim and challenging topic into bite-sized pieces. She counsels readers to tell your loved ones that you really are not OK, that it is normal to feel like your brain is overloaded, and what to write in a sympathy card (there’s a template for those at a loss for words). Even though the book is short—as all TED Books are—it includes an impressive amount of helpful information about how anyone can deal with grief. It should be required reading for nearly everyone, since, sadly, “everyone you know will die and…each death will bring a fresh new brand of grief.”
Inspirational and candid information on a topic most of us never want to think about until we are forced to confront it.Pub Date: April 30, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-982109-98-1
Page Count: 112
Publisher: TED/Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: Feb. 2, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 15, 2019
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
These platitudes need perspective; better to buy the books they came from.
A lightweight collection of self-help snippets from the bestselling author.
What makes a quote a quote? Does it have to be quoted by someone other than the original author? Apparently not, if we take Strayed’s collection of truisms as an example. The well-known memoirist (Wild), novelist (Torch), and radio-show host (“Dear Sugar”) pulls lines from her previous pages and delivers them one at a time in this small, gift-sized book. No excerpt exceeds one page in length, and some are only one line long. Strayed doesn’t reference the books she’s drawing from, so the quotes stand without context and are strung together without apparent attention to structure or narrative flow. Thus, we move back and forth from first-person tales from the Pacific Crest Trail to conversational tidbits to meditations on grief. Some are astoundingly simple, such as Strayed’s declaration that “Love is the feeling we have for those we care deeply about and hold in high regard.” Others call on the author’s unique observations—people who regret what they haven’t done, she writes, end up “mingy, addled, shrink-wrapped versions” of themselves—and offer a reward for wading through obvious advice like “Trust your gut.” Other quotes sound familiar—not necessarily because you’ve read Strayed’s other work, but likely due to the influence of other authors on her writing. When she writes about blooming into your own authenticity, for instance, one is immediately reminded of Anaïs Nin: "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Strayed’s true blossoming happens in her longer works; while this collection might brighten someone’s day—and is sure to sell plenty of copies during the holidays—it’s no substitute for the real thing.
These platitudes need perspective; better to buy the books they came from.Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2015
ISBN: 978-1-101-946909
Page Count: 160
Publisher: Knopf
Review Posted Online: Aug. 15, 2015
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 2015
Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should...
Greene (The 33 Strategies of War, 2007, etc.) believes that genius can be learned if we pay attention and reject social conformity.
The author suggests that our emergence as a species with stereoscopic, frontal vision and sophisticated hand-eye coordination gave us an advantage over earlier humans and primates because it allowed us to contemplate a situation and ponder alternatives for action. This, along with the advantages conferred by mirror neurons, which allow us to intuit what others may be thinking, contributed to our ability to learn, pass on inventions to future generations and improve our problem-solving ability. Throughout most of human history, we were hunter-gatherers, and our brains are engineered accordingly. The author has a jaundiced view of our modern technological society, which, he writes, encourages quick, rash judgments. We fail to spend the time needed to develop thorough mastery of a subject. Greene writes that every human is “born unique,” with specific potential that we can develop if we listen to our inner voice. He offers many interesting but tendentious examples to illustrate his theory, including Einstein, Darwin, Mozart and Temple Grandin. In the case of Darwin, Greene ignores the formative intellectual influences that shaped his thought, including the discovery of geological evolution with which he was familiar before his famous voyage. The author uses Grandin's struggle to overcome autistic social handicaps as a model for the necessity for everyone to create a deceptive social mask.
Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should beware of the author's quirky, sometimes misleading brush-stroke characterizations.Pub Date: Nov. 13, 2012
ISBN: 978-0-670-02496-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Viking
Review Posted Online: Sept. 12, 2012
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 1, 2012
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
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