An intelligent and empowering guide toward increased self-determination within sexual relations.
Focusing on sex “that goes well for everyone.”
Kukla, a professor of philosophy and disability studies at Georgetown University, draws from discussions with fellow academics, sex workers, friends, and lovers to present an introspective and enlightening study of the dynamics of sexual consent. Frustrated with indifferent, academic explorations of bodily autonomy and sexual liberation, Kukla says their goal is to enhance our understanding of how “being able to have good sex enhances our agency” through beneficial communication and collaboration instead of homogeneously “flattening” sexual conversations. The author introduces interactive methods to have sex genuinely benefit each participant, and not solely as a means to avoid sexual discord or harm. Kukla writes with straightforward language, offering an array of often provocative short scenarios to illustrate their points. The author skillfully incorporates relatable terminology, like personal and social “scaffolding,” which, when established by a sexually active individual, provides a relationship framework with the good strength and stability it needs to make sex (of any style) mutually safe and satisfying. The framework may incorporate the use of safe words to corral personal intimacy limits and minimize risk or, more generally, highlight laws and policies meant to promote and protect individual sexual agency and ease of reporting violations and abusers. But the basis for all of these agency-promotive, sex-positive initiatives, Kukla acknowledges, begins with open, honest, and proactive communication. As a self-admitted participant and proponent of alternative sex communities, Kukla attended conventions and seminars where sexual negotiation was a key theme, and while they understand the constricting social norms prevalent around issues of sexual empowerment, consent, and lifestyles like sex work, each individual, the author says, is ultimately responsible for their own body and how it is governed and pleasured. Calling religious models of carnal abstention “intensely depressing,” Kukla instead offers constructive feedback and workarounds to reach the goal of sexual agency for each partner.
An intelligent and empowering guide toward increased self-determination within sexual relations.Pub Date: Sept. 2, 2025
ISBN: 9781324064923
Page Count: 176
Publisher: Norton
Review Posted Online: Aug. 2, 2025
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 2025
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.
The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.
In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: May 30, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022
BOOK REVIEW
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our...
A psychologist and Nobel Prize winner summarizes and synthesizes the recent decades of research on intuition and systematic thinking.
The author of several scholarly texts, Kahneman (Emeritus Psychology and Public Affairs/Princeton Univ.) now offers general readers not just the findings of psychological research but also a better understanding of how research questions arise and how scholars systematically frame and answer them. He begins with the distinction between System 1 and System 2 mental operations, the former referring to quick, automatic thought, the latter to more effortful, overt thinking. We rely heavily, writes, on System 1, resorting to the higher-energy System 2 only when we need or want to. Kahneman continually refers to System 2 as “lazy”: We don’t want to think rigorously about something. The author then explores the nuances of our two-system minds, showing how they perform in various situations. Psychological experiments have repeatedly revealed that our intuitions are generally wrong, that our assessments are based on biases and that our System 1 hates doubt and despises ambiguity. Kahneman largely avoids jargon; when he does use some (“heuristics,” for example), he argues that such terms really ought to join our everyday vocabulary. He reviews many fundamental concepts in psychology and statistics (regression to the mean, the narrative fallacy, the optimistic bias), showing how they relate to his overall concerns about how we think and why we make the decisions that we do. Some of the later chapters (dealing with risk-taking and statistics and probabilities) are denser than others (some readers may resent such demands on System 2!), but the passages that deal with the economic and political implications of the research are gripping.
Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our minds.Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2011
ISBN: 978-0-374-27563-1
Page Count: 512
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Review Posted Online: Sept. 3, 2011
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 2011
BOOK REVIEW
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