Both intellectually and empathetically astute, probing the uneasy complexity of a defining relationship dynamic.
A series of essays evaluates the labyrinthian nature of mother-daughter relationships.
Recognized for her journalism illuminating the human complexity of mental illness, Aviv returns in this volume to six stories she previously published in The New Yorker, revising them with a focus on the mother-daughter connection. These are not sentimental tales of easy, enduring love, and loyalty. Instead, she digs into the murk and mess of shared and inherited trauma, fitful and discontinuous bonds, and the “overwhelming and exhausting fusion” that complicates this oft-examined, frequently overwrought relationship dynamic. For the women at the center of each essay, the ability to “mother” rides along the knife edge of psychiatric medications, personal histories of loss, and global economic dynamics of exported caretaking labor. Their motherhood easily falls prey to the oppression of ubiquitous social structures, from marriage to shifting definitions of feminism and ambition. Much of Aviv’s familiar expertise circles her contexts: declining standards of care for the mentally ill, the precarity of psychological diagnosis and treatment, and the burden of seeking care for loved ones who are mentally ill, especially when it is a daughter negotiating that process. At times, Aviv’s subjects make the reader squirm, as when she profiles Elizabeth Loftus, who served as an expert witness for Harvey Weinstein’s defense, or venerated author’s Alice Munro’s covering up the molestation of her younger daughter by her second husband. But even for more digestible characters, there are fugue states, schizophrenia, psychotic delusions, and seemingly superhuman denial that overshadow and obliterate the potential for tidy narratives. Such defiant discomfort is central to the author’s point: There is no easy heroine or clean arc across the mother-daughter continuum. Rather, this is a link that tests the definitions and limits of need, memory, guilt, and healing, redrawing the terms of both connection and individuation.
Both intellectually and empathetically astute, probing the uneasy complexity of a defining relationship dynamic.Pub Date: July 7, 2026
ISBN: 9780525657057
Page Count: 240
Publisher: Knopf
Review Posted Online: April 20, 2026
Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 15, 2026
BOOK REVIEW
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.
The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.
In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: May 30, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022
BOOK REVIEW
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
Some of Avant’s mantras are overstated, but her book is magnanimous, inspiring, and relentlessly optimistic.
Memories and life lessons inspired by the author’s mother, who was murdered in 2021.
“Neither my mother nor I knew that her last text to me would be the words ‘Think you’ll be happy,’ ” Avant writes, "but it is fitting that she left me with a mantra for resiliency.” The author, a filmmaker and former U.S. Ambassador to the Bahamas, begins her first book on the night she learned her mother, Jacqueline Avant, had been fatally shot during a home invasion. “One of my first thoughts,” she writes, “was, ‘Oh God, please don’t let me hate this man. Give me the strength not to hate him.’ ” Daughter of Clarence Avant, known as the “Black Godfather” due to his work as a pioneering music executive, the author describes growing up “in a house that had a revolving door of famous people,” from Ella Fitzgerald to Muhammad Ali. “I don’t take for granted anything I have achieved in my life as a Black American woman,” writes Avant. “And I recognize my unique upbringing…..I was taught to honor our past and pay forward our fruits.” The book, which is occasionally repetitive, includes tributes to her mother from figures like Oprah Winfrey and Bill Clinton, but the narrative core is the author’s direct, faith-based, unwaveringly positive messages to readers—e.g., “I don’t want to carry the sadness and anger I have toward the man who did this to my mother…so I’m worshiping God amid the worst storm imaginable”; "Success and feeling good are contagious. I’m all about positive contagious vibrations!” Avant frequently quotes Bible verses, and the bulk of the text reflects the spirit of her daily prayer “that everything is in divine order.” Imploring readers to practice proactive behavior, she writes, “We have to always find the blessing, to be the blessing.”
Some of Avant’s mantras are overstated, but her book is magnanimous, inspiring, and relentlessly optimistic.Pub Date: Oct. 17, 2023
ISBN: 9780063304413
Page Count: 288
Publisher: HarperOne
Review Posted Online: Aug. 17, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 2023
© Copyright 2026 Kirkus Media LLC. All Rights Reserved.
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