Forthright, edifying writing about Alzheimer’s caregiving.
A husband documents his wife’s battle with Alzheimer’s disease and offers help to other caregivers in this debut memoir.
Masinton’s wife, Dana, was about 56 years old when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. The author first began to suspect that something was wrong when Dana, a realtor, began to struggle with reconciling her bank account and following recipes. The couple sought multiple medical opinions over a two-year period before Alzheimer’s was formally diagnosed. During this time, Masinton also observed a significant personality change, with Dana becoming “increasingly irascible.” The memoir charts Dana’s deterioration and the escalating pressures placed on the author as the primary caregiver. Masinton candidly discusses the triumphs and failings of the medical system, the difficulties of finding a suitable part-time helper, and the painful moment when admission to a residential care facility became the only option. With the intention of providing Alzheimer’s caregivers a “roadmap” of what to expect, the author also supplies plenty of worthy, practical advice on topics such as long-term health care insurance and Medicaid. This is a thoughtfully conceived memoir. As the straight-talking narrative unfolds, Masinton includes passages in italics that represent “the voice of reason,” which provide knowledge he has accrued through “painful experience.” The author pulls no punches, as when presenting the realities of home health care agencies: “If they destroy their relationship with you, they simply move to the next name on their waiting list, so don’t expect remedy or remorse in this purely seller’s market.” Readers expecting a more nurturing approach may be deterred by Masinton’s bluntness: “It is a fight to get through every hour of every day, with the only certainty being that tomorrow will be worse.” But others will find solace in recognizing their own struggles in his unflinching account. Delivered with a strong, convincing authorial voice, the counsel presented here will stay with readers, particularly regarding the importance of self-preservation: “You’re not going to be able to do anything, much less help anyone—especially the one you care so much about—if you kill yourself in the process.” Bold in its approach, this book could prove an invaluable lifeline for caregivers seeking guidance.
Forthright, edifying writing about Alzheimer’s caregiving. (appendix)Pub Date: Sept. 24, 2018
ISBN: 978-1-4809-8691-6
Page Count: 190
Publisher: Dorrance Publishing Co.
Review Posted Online: Oct. 22, 2020
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 15, 2020
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
PROFILES
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.
The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.
In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: May 30, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
A heartwarming and inspiring story for animal lovers.
The third volume in the Elephant Whisperer series.
In this follow-up to An Elephant in My Kitchen, Malby-Anthony continues her loving portrait of the Thula Thula wildlife reserve, which she co-founded in 1998 with her late husband, South African conservationist Lawrence Anthony, who published the first book in the series, The Elephant Whisperer, in 2009. Following his death in 2012, Malby-Anthony sought to honor his legacy by continuing his vision “to create a massive conservancy in Zululand, incorporating our land and other small farms and community land into one great big game park.” At the same time, the elephants gave her “a sense of purpose and direction.” In the Zulu language, thula means quiet, and though the author consistently seeks to provide that calm to her charges, peace and tranquility are not always easy to come by at Thula Thula. In this installment, Malby-Anthony discusses many of the challenges faced by her and her staff, particularly during the Covid-19 pandemic. These included an aggressive, 2-ton rhino named Thabo; the profound loss felt by all upon the death of their elephant matriarch, Frankie; difficulty obtaining permits and the related risk of having to relocate or cull some of their animals; the fear of looting and fire due to civil unrest in the region; and the ongoing and potentially deadly struggles with poachers. Throughout, the author also shares many warm, lighthearted moments, demonstrating the deep bond felt among the humans and animals at the reserve and the powerful effects of the kindness of strangers. “We are all working in unity for the greater good, for the betterment of Thula Thula and all our wildlife….We are humbled by the generosity and love, both from our guests and friends, and from strangers all around the world,” writes the author. “People’s open-hearted support kept us alive in the darkest times.”
A heartwarming and inspiring story for animal lovers.Pub Date: April 25, 2023
ISBN: 9781250284259
Page Count: 320
Publisher: St. Martin's
Review Posted Online: Feb. 22, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 15, 2023
BOOK REVIEW
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