A celebration of marriage, narrowly defined.
Genuine, accessible advice on strengthening a marriage through communication.
The Fontanas’ debut relationship title delivers a powerful message: “When a marriage succeeds, the nation succeeds. Strong marriages, including yours, are good for EVERYONE!” The authors then explain how. Each chapter after the first explores a relevant topic and presents accompanying worksheets for couples to fill out and discuss. Topics range from the obvious—children, money, sex, etc.—to deeper issues such as different communication styles. The Fontanas include extensive, broadly applicable discussion questions and worksheets for newly married couples, those considering marriage and partners experiencing a rough patch. Nontraditional couples remain unmentioned, and same-sex attraction is only addressed as a potential “issue” to “overcome.” The Fontanas write from a Catholic perspective; they recommend natural family planning and barely explore other pregnancy strategies. They frequently remind readers of their obligations to charity and community service, and a chapter highlights marriage vows in relation to the church and a couple’s obligations to their religious community. Despite such an obvious religious perspective, a friendly and welcoming charm pervades each section. Even the chapter on sex within marriage doesn’t shy away from issues of satisfaction and mutual understanding of each other’s particular needs. Of particular interest is the authors’ emphasis on what they term “a straight message”—clear, nonjudgmental language to convey information, especially with regard to sensitive or controversial topics for the couple. Another sharp insight suggests that clear communication can be subconsciously impeded when couples don’t understand the differing ways they prefer to be loved. Without realizing it, a person will usually show love to his or her spouse in the manner he or she wishes to receive love rather than the style of loving to which the partner responds best: through kindness, for example, or through spending time together or touch. The simple exercises here should bring couples closer by helping them learn about each other and themselves in life and love.
A celebration of marriage, narrowly defined.Pub Date: May 1, 2013
ISBN: 978-1484085370
Page Count: 102
Publisher: CreateSpace
Review Posted Online: April 7, 2014
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
A vivid sequel that strains credulity.
Fremont (After Long Silence, 1999) continues—and alters—her story of how memories of the Holocaust affected her family.
At the age of 44, the author learned that her father had disowned her, declaring her “predeceased”—or dead in his eyes—in his will. It was his final insult: Her parents had stopped speaking to her after she’d published After Long Silence, which exposed them as Jewish Holocaust survivors who had posed as Catholics in Europe and America in order to hide multilayered secrets. Here, Fremont delves further into her tortured family dynamics and shows how the rift developed. One thread centers on her life after her harrowing childhood: her education at Wellesley and Boston University, the loss of her virginity to a college boyfriend before accepting her lesbianism, her stint with the Peace Corps in Lesotho, and her decades of work as a lawyer in Boston. Another strand involves her fraught relationship with her sister, Lara, and how their difficulties relate to their father, a doctor embittered after years in the Siberian gulag; and their mother, deeply enmeshed with her own sister, Zosia, who had married an Italian count and stayed in Rome to raise a child. Fremont tells these stories with novelistic flair, ending with a surprising theory about why her parents hid their Judaism. Yet she often appears insensitive to the serious problems she says Lara once faced, including suicidal depression. “The whole point of suicide, I thought, was to succeed at it,” she writes. “My sister’s completion rate was pathetic.” Key facts also differ from those in her earlier work. After Long Silence says, for example, that the author grew up “in a small city in the Midwest” while she writes here that she grew up in “upstate New York,” changes Fremont says she made for “consistency” in the new book but that muddy its narrative waters. The discrepancies may not bother readers seeking psychological insights rather than factual accuracy, but others will wonder if this book should have been labeled a fictionalized autobiography rather than a memoir.
A vivid sequel that strains credulity.Pub Date: Feb. 11, 2020
ISBN: 978-1-982113-60-5
Page Count: 352
Publisher: Gallery Books/Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: Oct. 20, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 15, 2019
BOOK REVIEW
A generous, steaming stew of a book loaded with personality and originality and sprinkled with the fiery chili of rage.
A poet’s memoir about her working-class childhood, writing career, family, and Asian American identity.
Despite the fact that Wong’s father gambled away the family's Chinese restaurant in New Jersey when she was still quite young, the feeling of being a "restaurant baby" is central to this book. "I am that person who thinks that the compost bin is beautiful, in all its swirls of color (jade mold, chocolate slime—why is no one hiring me to name nail polish?), surprising texture, and piquant death,” she writes. After her father lost the restaurant and left the family, her mother became a postal worker, sorting mail overnight into and through the pandemic. If there is a single topic that unifies the book, it's her mother. A series of passages labeled “wongmom.com” imagines that her mother's wisdom might be available online, including things like her take on an "ancient Chinese saying”—“If you can’t crawl, swim. If you can’t swim, then take the bus.” Wong's sharp sense of humor is fueled by a healthy dose of righteous anger, and her lyric energy bursts from almost every sentence. In the chapter titled "Bad Bildungsroman With Table Tennis,” she writes, "Part of being a teenager is the desire to destroy something. To break something apart so fully, you can see its pulled seams, its tangled organs. At 13, I felt this feeling churn within me, this rage, this pimple-popping lusciousness of rudeness, this gleaming desire for sudden destruction." She writes candidly about her shoplifting phase, her misery at the Iowa Writer's Workshop, and her disgust for bigotry and cultural appropriation. A good portion of the book focuses on finding her confidence as an Asian American poet, including the glorious moment when she was recognized with a big grant and a museum show. For this profoundly unsqueamish writer, poetry is "interior slime spicy along our tongues" and "chicken grease congealing behind my ear."
A generous, steaming stew of a book loaded with personality and originality and sprinkled with the fiery chili of rage.Pub Date: May 16, 2023
ISBN: 9781953534675
Page Count: 304
Publisher: Tin House
Review Posted Online: Jan. 27, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2023
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