bookshelf

How to Beat My Husband's Mistress.

Name: How to Beat My Husband's Mistress.
Author: Scholastica Bassey
ISBN: 978-1-5246-0830-9

by Scholastica Bassey ‧ RELEASE DATE: May 18, 2016

A sincere primer on honoring and upholding the sanctity of marriage.

bookshelf

A wife and mother discusses how a woman should respond to infidelity, including by surpassing the appeal of a husband’s mistress, in this self-help guide.

In 2013, on her way to a midweek church service, Bassey, who had been “praying for God’s guidance, a divine idea, and direction in my life,” got the idea for this book, most specifically its title. She emphasizes that she doesn’t intend for women to physically harm their husbands’ mistresses but instead to “beat” these rivals by both forgiving their husbands and reclaiming their marriages, including addressing the issues and attractions that made their spouses stray, thus avoiding the unnecessary destruction of divorces. She divides her book into three parts: “Courtship and Marriage,’ in which she encourages careful focus in marriage preparation, including premarital counseling and crafting and honoring wedding vows; “Your Husband Has Cheated,” which includes using a “honey mouth” when confronting a spouse about infidelity (“Every problem has a solution, be it favorable or not. If the woman is guilty as charged of some of the blames, the man can share his concerns with his wife and work together to resolve it”); and finally, “Beating the Mistress,” her advice on “surpassing the mistress in those areas that attract your husband and lead to infidelity.” Tips include dressing attractively, repressing the urge to nag, and providing home-cooked meals at least occasionally. She concludes by noting that the “most powerful asset” in saving a marriage is prayer, providing samples to “modify…accordingly as needed.” Debut author Bassey (who despite the “my” in her book’s title doesn’t reveal any personal experience with infidelity) makes a fervent case for a woman to work through a husband’s cheating and triumph over his mistress. While the author’s focus on prayer and her emphasis on women standing by their men (including expressing admiration for Camille Cosby and Hillary Clinton) may be unappealing to some readers, she raises valid points regarding women’s accountability in remaining alluring to their partners and exercising caution concerning divorce, especially when children are involved. She strongly advises against rushing into a divorce given its lasting ramifications.

A sincere primer on honoring and upholding the sanctity of marriage.

Pub Date: May 18, 2016

ISBN: 978-1-5246-0830-9

Page Count: 132

Publisher: AuthorHouse

Review Posted Online: Aug. 18, 2016

Review Program: Kirkus Indie

Categories:

FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS

bookshelf

WOMEN ON DIVORCE

A BEDSIDE COMPANION

edited by Penny Kaganoff & Susan Spano ‧ RELEASE DATE: Oct. 1, 1995

bookshelf

D-I-V-O-R-C-E. If Tammy Wynette left you aching for more on the subject, turn to this highbrow literary collection of 14 essays by survivors and observers of what one contributor likes to think of as a ``spectator sport.'' Embracing the public aspect of modern American divorce, the women writers represented in this collection (among them Carol Shields, Francine Prose, and Ellen Gilchrist) share their personal experiences as current or soon-to-be divorcÇes. The undivorced offer their observations on the divorces that orbit their own marriages like potentially deadly satellites from another planet. Several Jewish women are forced to obtain a get (a Jewish divorce), whose ``archaic ritual proves more debilitating than the antiseptic American version.'' A Catholic writer, Ann Patchett, vividly recounts her shock at coming face to face with the reality of the indissoluble Catholic marriage. Her essay ends with a confession of her dreams of institutionalized forgiveness in ``an eighth sacrament, the sacrament of divorce.'' It is unfortunate that the editors (Kaganoff, a former editor of Kirkus, is currently a senior editor at Simon & Schuster; Spano writes a travel column for the New York Times) did not break free from their generally narrow group of contributors whose rÇsumÇs echo one another; testimony from Muslim or Hindu women would have added fresh perspectives. Interestingly, several points recur from essay to essay. The writers fear that divorced people may be doomed to repeat their mistakes (``Between them my two brothers have married five women who look like my mother''). There is a consensus of sorts that romantic love has led these women astray. Among the most interesting is the opinion of several writers that arranged marriages might be the best solution to the question of finding a mate. These are disillusioned women. True to its subtitle, this reads like a chatty, intimate, and frank conversation among women. If half your mattress is empty, take this book to bed. (First serial to Harper's Bazaar, Vogue, Cosmopolitan, Mirabella, Redbook)

Pub Date: Oct. 1, 1995

ISBN: 0-15-100114-6

Page Count: 256

Publisher: Harcourt

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 1995

Categories:

FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS

- BOOK REVIEW
MEN ON DIVORCE
edited by Penny Kaganoff & Susan Spano

bookshelf

THE COLOR OF WATER

A BLACK MAN'S TRIBUTE TO HIS WHITE MOTHER

by James McBride ‧ RELEASE DATE: Jan. 23, 1996

McBride's mother should take much pleasure in this loving if sometimes uncomfortable memoir, which embodies family values of...

bookshelf

An eloquent narrative in which a young black man searches for his roots—against the wishes of his mother.

McBride, a professional saxophonist and former staff writer for the Boston Globe and the Washington Post, grew up with 11 siblings in an all-black Brooklyn, New York, housing project. As a child, he became aware that his mother was different from others around him: She was white, and she kept secrets. When asked where she was from, McBride recalls, she would say something like ``God made me''; when asked about her ethnicity, she would say, `` `I'm light-skinned,' and change the subject.'' No amount of prodding could get her to say much more, and McBride was left to explore his mother's past without much help from his principal subject. What he learned occupies the pages of this vivid, affecting memoir: the story of a woman whose parents fled the anti-Jewish pogroms of Central Europe for the American South, there to be faced with new prejudices and develop a few of their own; a woman whose father sexually abused her for years and who ``would run down the back roads where the black folks lived'' to escape him; a woman who moved to New York, married a black minister, and raised eight children, then remarried on his death and raised four more. ``My parents were nonmaterialistic. They believed that money without knowledge was worthless, that education tempered with religion was the way to climb out of poverty in America, and over the years they were proven right,'' McBride writes. The catalogue of his siblings with which he closes his book bears him out: Most have gone on to be doctors, educators, and professionals, with résumés of unbroken success.

McBride's mother should take much pleasure in this loving if sometimes uncomfortable memoir, which embodies family values of the best kind. Other readers will take pleasure in it as well.