When ancient millionaire Marcus Wilmington's state-of-the- art ocean liner Atlantis leaves New York on her maiden voyage, her passengers include Wilmington's wife, Gertrude, and sons Dicky and Alexis, his ruthless business rival Peter Moon, stowaway columnist Larry Goldman, infantile crooner Candy L'Amour, a shoal of security folk, outriders from the FBI and CIAand comedian/raconteur Allen (Hi-Ho, Steverino!, 1992, etc., etc.) and wife Jayne Meadows, who've been asked by the absent, paranoid Marcus Wilmington to keep a sharp eye on the passengers. Steve and Jayne need to look alert, because many of the aforementioned aren't going to make it to Southampton. Meanwhile, the pleasantly absurd murder plot, which seems to have been flown in from the '30s, including everything from sibling rivalry to portable anti-aircraft missiles. Readers booking passage on this voyage, though, will probably be less interested in hunting for clues than in stargazing among Steve's innumerable ``good friends'' in show business and feasting on his quirky opinions (e.g., his preference for Snapple over champagne). A dim tale fitfully brightened by its narrator's effervescence.