A successful and detailed guide to using mindfulness to heal and redirect negative emotions.
In this self-improvement title, Heitler (The Power of Two Workbook: Communication Skills for A Strong & Loving Marriage, 2003, etc.) explores several major psychological problems, including anger, fear, anxiety, and addictive behaviors.
Rather than promoting a mindset or ideology that promises to absolve the reader of these problems like other self-help books seem to do, Heitler, a psychologist, continuously presents a theme of options. For every situation, there are choices, and for every emotional state, the author explains, there are directions in which a person can take that feeling. Heitler focuses on the “hand map” of five alternatives: fight, fold, freeze, flee, or Find a Solution. What makes this book different is the way it doesn’t just provide solutions: it maps out ways to arrive at a healthy selection and methods to build better emotional habits. For example, an exercise called “that was then, this is now” asks the reader to picture a negative response and the place in which it is “felt” in the body. Then the reader is asked to visualize an earlier time, perhaps in childhood, when that same emotion was felt. Heitler suggests that the reader analyze what has changed— such as feeling safer now or more powerless then. She recommends analyzing how the older self would console the younger self, if able to revisit the experience as a third party. This technique is common in hypnosis but asks the reader to rewrite old pathways of negative beliefs that continue to interfere with a healthy adult life. Heitler deftly weaves in anecdotes from sports psychology, marriage counseling, and addiction recovery counseling to illustrate the ways individuals can work through their negative emotions and arrive at positive outcomes—without the use of medication. The book’s greatest strength is in its specificity: the author spends time unpacking the particulars of depression, anxiety, and anger, asking the reader to reframe them and toss out old ways of viewing these emotions. For example, while she portrays anger as a “red light” that necessitates a full stop before proceeding, anxiety is a “yellow light” that should slow a person down long enough to assess the condition but not stop the individual from taking action.
A successful and detailed guide to using mindfulness to heal and redirect negative emotions.Pub Date: July 19, 2016
ISBN: 978-1-63047-812-4
Page Count: 280
Publisher: Morgan James Publishing
Review Posted Online: July 11, 2016
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.
A follow-on to the author’s garbled but popular 48 Laws of Power, promising that readers will learn how to win friends and influence people, to say nothing of outfoxing all those “toxic types” out in the world.
Greene (Mastery, 2012, etc.) begins with a big sell, averring that his book “is designed to immerse you in all aspects of human behavior and illuminate its root causes.” To gauge by this fat compendium, human behavior is mostly rotten, a presumption that fits with the author’s neo-Machiavellian program of self-validation and eventual strategic supremacy. The author works to formula: First, state a “law,” such as “confront your dark side” or “know your limits,” the latter of which seems pale compared to the Delphic oracle’s “nothing in excess.” Next, elaborate on that law with what might seem to be as plain as day: “Losing contact with reality, we make irrational decisions. That is why our success often does not last.” One imagines there might be other reasons for the evanescence of glory, but there you go. Finally, spin out a long tutelary yarn, seemingly the longer the better, to shore up the truism—in this case, the cometary rise and fall of one-time Disney CEO Michael Eisner, with the warning, “his fate could easily be yours, albeit most likely on a smaller scale,” which ranks right up there with the fortuneteller’s “I sense that someone you know has died" in orders of probability. It’s enough to inspire a new law: Beware of those who spend too much time telling you what you already know, even when it’s dressed up in fresh-sounding terms. “Continually mix the visceral with the analytic” is the language of a consultant’s report, more important-sounding than “go with your gut but use your head, too.”
The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.Pub Date: Oct. 23, 2018
ISBN: 978-0-525-42814-5
Page Count: 580
Publisher: Viking
Review Posted Online: July 30, 2018
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2018
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.
More life reflections from the bestselling author on themes of societal captivity and the catharsis of personal freedom.
In her third book, Doyle (Love Warrior, 2016, etc.) begins with a life-changing event. “Four years ago,” she writes, “married to the father of my three children, I fell in love with a woman.” That woman, Abby Wambach, would become her wife. Emblematically arranged into three sections—“Caged,” “Keys,” “Freedom”—the narrative offers, among other elements, vignettes about the soulful author’s girlhood, when she was bulimic and felt like a zoo animal, a “caged girl made for wide-open skies.” She followed the path that seemed right and appropriate based on her Catholic upbringing and adolescent conditioning. After a downward spiral into “drinking, drugging, and purging,” Doyle found sobriety and the authentic self she’d been suppressing. Still, there was trouble: Straining an already troubled marriage was her husband’s infidelity, which eventually led to life-altering choices and the discovery of a love she’d never experienced before. Throughout the book, Doyle remains open and candid, whether she’s admitting to rigging a high school homecoming court election or denouncing the doting perfectionism of “cream cheese parenting,” which is about “giving your children the best of everything.” The author’s fears and concerns are often mirrored by real-world issues: gender roles and bias, white privilege, racism, and religion-fueled homophobia and hypocrisy. Some stories merely skim the surface of larger issues, but Doyle revisits them in later sections and digs deeper, using friends and familial references to personify their impact on her life, both past and present. Shorter pieces, some only a page in length, manage to effectively translate an emotional gut punch, as when Doyle’s therapist called her blooming extramarital lesbian love a “dangerous distraction.” Ultimately, the narrative is an in-depth look at a courageous woman eager to share the wealth of her experiences by embracing vulnerability and reclaiming her inner strength and resiliency.
Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.Pub Date: March 10, 2020
ISBN: 978-1-9848-0125-8
Page Count: 352
Publisher: Dial Books
Review Posted Online: Dec. 21, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2020
PROFILES
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
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