A grueling memoir that offers a clear portrait of people and places but could benefit from more reflection and analysis.
Erickson tells of a difficult childhood and an abusive father in this debut memoir.
In the mid-1950s, just three days after she was born, the author nearly died: Her mother, a Christian Scientist, refused to get her medical help after her umbilical knot wouldn’t stop bleeding; fortunately, though, her mother relented. For the rest of the author’s childhood and adolescence, her life was defined by the very different personalities of her parents. Her mother, she says, was kind, averse to conflict, and devoutly religious, while her father often sabotaged his own ambitious plans, due in part to his alcoholism. He aspired to become a land developer and rancher, and the family spent long stretches of time on his growing ranch in the Sierra Nevada. Erickson, more than any of her four siblings, shared his love of horses and the outdoors, but their relationship, she writes, was scarred by horrific emotional and physical abuse; she says that her father shot her beloved heifer in front of her, accused her of being responsible for a horseback riding accident that crippled her mother, casually scratched her face while showing her a new bridle, and declared that he neither loved nor respected her in the middle of a family dinner. Her mother showered her with love and gifts, she says, but turned a blind eye to the abuse. Erickson reveals that she sometimes resorted to self-harm in order to feel in control. Overall, the author vividly captures her parents in this memoir, paying special attention to telling how her father’s volatility created heart-pounding anxiety, showing him to be kind one day and abusive the next. There’s particular poignancy in later chapters when Erickson portrays how her father’s alcoholism physically debilitated him and how she struggled to reconcile her own feelings of pity and guilt with memories of abuse. However, her narrative might have benefited from more observations gained from the passage of time; she adroitly captures her in-the-moment reactions as a child and a young woman but rarely looks at the long-term impact of events on her post-adolescent life.
A grueling memoir that offers a clear portrait of people and places but could benefit from more reflection and analysis.Pub Date: Aug. 21, 2018
ISBN: 978-1-63152-465-3
Page Count: 256
Publisher: She Writes Press
Review Posted Online: June 11, 2018
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.
An analysis of our emotions and the skills required to understand them.
We all have emotions, but how many of us have the vocabulary to accurately describe our experiences or to understand how our emotions affect the way we act? In this guide to help readers with their emotions, Brackett, the founding director of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, presents a five-step method he calls R.U.L.E.R.: We need to recognize our emotions, understand what has caused them, be able to label them with precise terms and descriptions, know how to safely and effectively express them, and be able to regulate them in productive ways. The author walks readers through each step and provides an intriguing tool to use to help identify a specific emotion. Brackett introduces a four-square grid called a Mood Meter, which allows one to define where an emotion falls based on pleasantness and energy. He also uses four colors for each quadrant: yellow for high pleasantness and high energy, red for low pleasantness and high energy, green for high pleasantness and low energy, and blue for low pleasantness and low energy. The idea is to identify where an emotion lies in this grid in order to put the R.U.L.E.R. method to good use. The author’s research is wide-ranging, and his interweaving of his personal story with the data helps make the book less academic and more accessible to general readers. It’s particularly useful for parents and teachers who want to help children learn to handle difficult emotions so that they can thrive rather than be overwhelmed by them. The author’s system will also find use in the workplace. “Emotions are the most powerful force inside the workplace—as they are in every human endeavor,” writes Brackett. “They influence everything from leadership effectiveness to building and maintaining complex relationships, from innovation to customer relations.”
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-250-21284-9
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Celadon Books
Review Posted Online: June 22, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2019
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...
Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.
Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.Pub Date: March 21, 2017
ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017
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