A grueling memoir that offers a clear portrait of people and places but could benefit from more reflection and analysis.

BOOT LANGUAGE

A MEMOIR

Erickson tells of a difficult childhood and an abusive father in this debut memoir.

In the mid-1950s, just three days after she was born, the author nearly died: Her mother, a Christian Scientist, refused to get her medical help after her umbilical knot wouldn’t stop bleeding; fortunately, though, her mother relented. For the rest of the author’s childhood and adolescence, her life was defined by the very different personalities of her parents. Her mother, she says, was kind, averse to conflict, and devoutly religious, while her father often sabotaged his own ambitious plans, due in part to his alcoholism. He aspired to become a land developer and rancher, and the family spent long stretches of time on his growing ranch in the Sierra Nevada. Erickson, more than any of her four siblings, shared his love of horses and the outdoors, but their relationship, she writes, was scarred by horrific emotional and physical abuse; she says that her father shot her beloved heifer in front of her, accused her of being responsible for a horseback riding accident that crippled her mother, casually scratched her face while showing her a new bridle, and declared that he neither loved nor respected her in the middle of a family dinner. Her mother showered her with love and gifts, she says, but turned a blind eye to the abuse. Erickson reveals that she sometimes resorted to self-harm in order to feel in control. Overall, the author vividly captures her parents in this memoir, paying special attention to telling how her father’s volatility created heart-pounding anxiety, showing him to be kind one day and abusive the next. There’s particular poignancy in later chapters when Erickson portrays how her father’s alcoholism physically debilitated him and how she struggled to reconcile her own feelings of pity and guilt with memories of abuse. However, her narrative might have benefited from more observations gained from the passage of time; she adroitly captures her in-the-moment reactions as a child and a young woman but rarely looks at the long-term impact of events on her post-adolescent life.

A grueling memoir that offers a clear portrait of people and places but could benefit from more reflection and analysis.

Pub Date: Aug. 21, 2018

ISBN: 978-1-63152-465-3

Page Count: 256

Publisher: She Writes Press

Review Posted Online: June 11, 2018

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A vivid sequel that strains credulity.

THE ESCAPE ARTIST

Fremont (After Long Silence, 1999) continues—and alters—her story of how memories of the Holocaust affected her family.

At the age of 44, the author learned that her father had disowned her, declaring her “predeceased”—or dead in his eyes—in his will. It was his final insult: Her parents had stopped speaking to her after she’d published After Long Silence, which exposed them as Jewish Holocaust survivors who had posed as Catholics in Europe and America in order to hide multilayered secrets. Here, Fremont delves further into her tortured family dynamics and shows how the rift developed. One thread centers on her life after her harrowing childhood: her education at Wellesley and Boston University, the loss of her virginity to a college boyfriend before accepting her lesbianism, her stint with the Peace Corps in Lesotho, and her decades of work as a lawyer in Boston. Another strand involves her fraught relationship with her sister, Lara, and how their difficulties relate to their father, a doctor embittered after years in the Siberian gulag; and their mother, deeply enmeshed with her own sister, Zosia, who had married an Italian count and stayed in Rome to raise a child. Fremont tells these stories with novelistic flair, ending with a surprising theory about why her parents hid their Judaism. Yet she often appears insensitive to the serious problems she says Lara once faced, including suicidal depression. “The whole point of suicide, I thought, was to succeed at it,” she writes. “My sister’s completion rate was pathetic.” Key facts also differ from those in her earlier work. After Long Silence says, for example, that the author grew up “in a small city in the Midwest” while she writes here that she grew up in “upstate New York,” changes Fremont says she made for “consistency” in the new book but that muddy its narrative waters. The discrepancies may not bother readers seeking psychological insights rather than factual accuracy, but others will wonder if this book should have been labeled a fictionalized autobiography rather than a memoir.

A vivid sequel that strains credulity.

Pub Date: Feb. 11, 2020

ISBN: 978-1-982113-60-5

Page Count: 352

Publisher: Gallery Books/Simon & Schuster

Review Posted Online: Oct. 21, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 15, 2019

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A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...

HOW NOT TO HATE YOUR HUSBAND AFTER KIDS

Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.

Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.

A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.

Pub Date: March 21, 2017

ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6

Page Count: 272

Publisher: Little, Brown

Review Posted Online: Jan. 18, 2017

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017

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