A compassionate guide to confronting distress.
How we respond to life’s turbulence.
In the second volume of a planned trilogy that began with How We Are, British health psychologist Deary draws on his clinical work, his research, and his own life and the lives of his family and friends to examine what happens to us when we feel pushed past our limits. A practitioner at a trans-diagnostic fatigue clinic, Deary works with patients seeking help for exhaustion resulting from illness—cancer, cancer treatment, or autoimmune disease, for example—or psychological or emotional stress. Offering several empathetic case histories, he considers the varied nature of toxic climates that “can exhaust our energies” or “cause us to devalue ourselves.” The author is candid about his own experiences with social anxiety, depression, and the terror he felt as a boy treated as a misfit by his schoolmates. Deary also chronicles the case of his mother, a passionate woman “trapped by circumstances” who became exhausted and despondent after a fall. Although research has found a genetic propensity to develop anxiety and depression, Deary underscores the idea that environments shape us more profoundly. Even siblings, eliciting different behaviors from a parent, necessarily grow up in essentially different worlds. Throughout each chapter, the author asks readers to reflect on the stories they construct about their lives and personalities and on the forces and experiences that continue to shape them. Those forces may include a change in work culture—such as a new boss instituting continuous monitoring; a family crisis; an illness; or a persistent nonvisible disability. “People with autism, trans people, queer people, overweight people, anyone marginalized, anyone who has just arrived in a country,” writes Deary, are burdened with the exhausting task of having repeatedly to explain themselves. “Self-befriending,” he concludes, is a step toward healing.
A compassionate guide to confronting distress.Pub Date: May 21, 2024
ISBN: 9780374172114
Page Count: 304
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Review Posted Online: Feb. 28, 2024
Kirkus Reviews Issue: April 1, 2024
BOOK REVIEW
Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our...
A psychologist and Nobel Prize winner summarizes and synthesizes the recent decades of research on intuition and systematic thinking.
The author of several scholarly texts, Kahneman (Emeritus Psychology and Public Affairs/Princeton Univ.) now offers general readers not just the findings of psychological research but also a better understanding of how research questions arise and how scholars systematically frame and answer them. He begins with the distinction between System 1 and System 2 mental operations, the former referring to quick, automatic thought, the latter to more effortful, overt thinking. We rely heavily, writes, on System 1, resorting to the higher-energy System 2 only when we need or want to. Kahneman continually refers to System 2 as “lazy”: We don’t want to think rigorously about something. The author then explores the nuances of our two-system minds, showing how they perform in various situations. Psychological experiments have repeatedly revealed that our intuitions are generally wrong, that our assessments are based on biases and that our System 1 hates doubt and despises ambiguity. Kahneman largely avoids jargon; when he does use some (“heuristics,” for example), he argues that such terms really ought to join our everyday vocabulary. He reviews many fundamental concepts in psychology and statistics (regression to the mean, the narrative fallacy, the optimistic bias), showing how they relate to his overall concerns about how we think and why we make the decisions that we do. Some of the later chapters (dealing with risk-taking and statistics and probabilities) are denser than others (some readers may resent such demands on System 2!), but the passages that deal with the economic and political implications of the research are gripping.
Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our minds.Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2011
ISBN: 978-0-374-27563-1
Page Count: 512
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Review Posted Online: Sept. 3, 2011
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 2011
BOOK REVIEW
IN THE NEWS
IN THE NEWS
The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.
A follow-on to the author’s garbled but popular 48 Laws of Power, promising that readers will learn how to win friends and influence people, to say nothing of outfoxing all those “toxic types” out in the world.
Greene (Mastery, 2012, etc.) begins with a big sell, averring that his book “is designed to immerse you in all aspects of human behavior and illuminate its root causes.” To gauge by this fat compendium, human behavior is mostly rotten, a presumption that fits with the author’s neo-Machiavellian program of self-validation and eventual strategic supremacy. The author works to formula: First, state a “law,” such as “confront your dark side” or “know your limits,” the latter of which seems pale compared to the Delphic oracle’s “nothing in excess.” Next, elaborate on that law with what might seem to be as plain as day: “Losing contact with reality, we make irrational decisions. That is why our success often does not last.” One imagines there might be other reasons for the evanescence of glory, but there you go. Finally, spin out a long tutelary yarn, seemingly the longer the better, to shore up the truism—in this case, the cometary rise and fall of one-time Disney CEO Michael Eisner, with the warning, “his fate could easily be yours, albeit most likely on a smaller scale,” which ranks right up there with the fortuneteller’s “I sense that someone you know has died" in orders of probability. It’s enough to inspire a new law: Beware of those who spend too much time telling you what you already know, even when it’s dressed up in fresh-sounding terms. “Continually mix the visceral with the analytic” is the language of a consultant’s report, more important-sounding than “go with your gut but use your head, too.”
The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.Pub Date: Oct. 23, 2018
ISBN: 978-0-525-42814-5
Page Count: 580
Publisher: Viking
Review Posted Online: July 30, 2018
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2018
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
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