An engagingly written, if sometimes self-indulgent, book on appropriate behavior.
James (Manly Manners: Lifestyle & Modern Etiquette for the Young Man of the 21st Century, 2016) offers his second, ethics-focused volume in his etiquette series.
In his first installment of the Manly Manners trilogy, James expressed a belief that there’s an appropriate way to go about every aspect of human interaction. In this second book, he dives deeper to explore the ethical questions that underlie etiquette, providing moral grounding to what would otherwise be empty rituals. “The physical pain caused by a slap to the face begins subsiding in seconds; the emotional pain from that same slap, however, may endure a lifetime,” he notes. From this perspective, the author goes into the proper ways that a gentleman should approach relationships, from breaking up with a romantic partner to maintaining platonic friendships. He also examines the qualities that exist at the heart of a true gentleman, and even delves a bit into his own interpretation of Christianity. James lets the reader in on what he calls the “14 Deadly Sins”—seven of “Control,” including child abuse, domestic violence, and revenge, and seven of “Insecurity,” such as idleness, substance abuse, and intolerance. He also details the “Eight A-Attitudes” that provide a gentleman with the proper outlook on life, such as “Be good, not just fair,” and “Plan for the future, but enjoy the present.” He concludes this relatively short volume with practical and philosophical advice on finding one’s proper profession and on the particulars of marriage. As in the previous volume, James writes in a heightened, mannered language that feels appropriate to his topic. However, it sometimes veers toward self-parody; for example, each chapter opens with an epigraph by the author himself doing his best Oscar Wilde impression (“For a sex-worker, the real orgasm is fiscal, not physical”; “There is less to him than meets the eye…”), which distracts to some extent. James’ advice is generally useful, however, and firmly based in established traditions. Even if doesn’t all feel completely relevant to the current culture, none of tips are so old-fashioned as to be offensive.
An engagingly written, if sometimes self-indulgent, book on appropriate behavior.Pub Date: Sept. 19, 2017
ISBN: 978-1-5320-2818-2
Page Count: 208
Publisher: iUniverse
Review Posted Online: May 4, 2018
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
BOOK REVIEW
Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should...
Greene (The 33 Strategies of War, 2007, etc.) believes that genius can be learned if we pay attention and reject social conformity.
The author suggests that our emergence as a species with stereoscopic, frontal vision and sophisticated hand-eye coordination gave us an advantage over earlier humans and primates because it allowed us to contemplate a situation and ponder alternatives for action. This, along with the advantages conferred by mirror neurons, which allow us to intuit what others may be thinking, contributed to our ability to learn, pass on inventions to future generations and improve our problem-solving ability. Throughout most of human history, we were hunter-gatherers, and our brains are engineered accordingly. The author has a jaundiced view of our modern technological society, which, he writes, encourages quick, rash judgments. We fail to spend the time needed to develop thorough mastery of a subject. Greene writes that every human is “born unique,” with specific potential that we can develop if we listen to our inner voice. He offers many interesting but tendentious examples to illustrate his theory, including Einstein, Darwin, Mozart and Temple Grandin. In the case of Darwin, Greene ignores the formative intellectual influences that shaped his thought, including the discovery of geological evolution with which he was familiar before his famous voyage. The author uses Grandin's struggle to overcome autistic social handicaps as a model for the necessity for everyone to create a deceptive social mask.
Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should beware of the author's quirky, sometimes misleading brush-stroke characterizations.Pub Date: Nov. 13, 2012
ISBN: 978-0-670-02496-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Viking
Review Posted Online: Sept. 12, 2012
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 1, 2012
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
These platitudes need perspective; better to buy the books they came from.
A lightweight collection of self-help snippets from the bestselling author.
What makes a quote a quote? Does it have to be quoted by someone other than the original author? Apparently not, if we take Strayed’s collection of truisms as an example. The well-known memoirist (Wild), novelist (Torch), and radio-show host (“Dear Sugar”) pulls lines from her previous pages and delivers them one at a time in this small, gift-sized book. No excerpt exceeds one page in length, and some are only one line long. Strayed doesn’t reference the books she’s drawing from, so the quotes stand without context and are strung together without apparent attention to structure or narrative flow. Thus, we move back and forth from first-person tales from the Pacific Crest Trail to conversational tidbits to meditations on grief. Some are astoundingly simple, such as Strayed’s declaration that “Love is the feeling we have for those we care deeply about and hold in high regard.” Others call on the author’s unique observations—people who regret what they haven’t done, she writes, end up “mingy, addled, shrink-wrapped versions” of themselves—and offer a reward for wading through obvious advice like “Trust your gut.” Other quotes sound familiar—not necessarily because you’ve read Strayed’s other work, but likely due to the influence of other authors on her writing. When she writes about blooming into your own authenticity, for instance, one is immediately reminded of Anaïs Nin: "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Strayed’s true blossoming happens in her longer works; while this collection might brighten someone’s day—and is sure to sell plenty of copies during the holidays—it’s no substitute for the real thing.
These platitudes need perspective; better to buy the books they came from.Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2015
ISBN: 978-1-101-946909
Page Count: 160
Publisher: Knopf
Review Posted Online: Aug. 15, 2015
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 2015
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