An ultimately uplifting memoir in which the author learns “to love my authentic self, not the image I had created.”
A blogger and essayist’s account of how he came out after discovering that hackers had used a personal photo on dating websites to lure unsuspecting women into relationships.
Dameron was in his mid-40s when he learned that cyberthieves had used a stolen selfie for a catfishing scheme that succeeded in duping women all over the world looking for love. The incident left him feeling angry and violated but also profoundly disturbed: Now the online poster child of “deceptive online dating,” it seemed the universe was also calling him into account for the lie that had become his adult life. A father of two who had married his college sweetheart, Dameron had been raised Catholic by a homophobic mother. His adolescence had been an ongoing struggle to keep his gay identity private and live like a “normal” man. No longer willing to remain in the closet but unsure of how to escape it, he sought out the company of males at the local gym and secretly experimented with steroids to build up his body. He also developed a close friendship with Enzo, a straight man at his company, that quickly developed into one-sided attraction. Jealous of her husband’s “bromance,” Dameron’s wife accidentally found his cache of steroids. After couples counseling failed to shore up their marriage, they separated, and the author began working with a therapist to help him come to terms with “the other [gay] Bill.” Seeking a foothold in the gay community, he moved in with two lesbians and began searching for a partner. In the meantime, his wife and daughters struggled to cope with the personal and social fallout that Dameron’s revelation brought into their lives. Eventually, the author crossed paths with another gay “breeder and…Daddy” who not only helped Dameron face his demons, but also became his husband. Candid and compassionate, the book celebrates truth and honors the redemptive power of forgiveness and love.
An ultimately uplifting memoir in which the author learns “to love my authentic self, not the image I had created.”Pub Date: July 1, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-5420-4474-5
Page Count: 286
Publisher: Little A
Review Posted Online: March 30, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: April 15, 2019
A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular...
A neurosurgeon with a passion for literature tragically finds his perfect subject after his diagnosis of terminal lung cancer.
Writing isn’t brain surgery, but it’s rare when someone adept at the latter is also so accomplished at the former. Searching for meaning and purpose in his life, Kalanithi pursued a doctorate in literature and had felt certain that he wouldn’t enter the field of medicine, in which his father and other members of his family excelled. “But I couldn’t let go of the question,” he writes, after realizing that his goals “didn’t quite fit in an English department.” “Where did biology, morality, literature and philosophy intersect?” So he decided to set aside his doctoral dissertation and belatedly prepare for medical school, which “would allow me a chance to find answers that are not in books, to find a different sort of sublime, to forge relationships with the suffering, and to keep following the question of what makes human life meaningful, even in the face of death and decay.” The author’s empathy undoubtedly made him an exceptional doctor, and the precision of his prose—as well as the moral purpose underscoring it—suggests that he could have written a good book on any subject he chose. Part of what makes this book so essential is the fact that it was written under a death sentence following the diagnosis that upended his life, just as he was preparing to end his residency and attract offers at the top of his profession. Kalanithi learned he might have 10 years to live or perhaps five. Should he return to neurosurgery (he could and did), or should he write (he also did)? Should he and his wife have a baby? They did, eight months before he died, which was less than two years after the original diagnosis. “The fact of death is unsettling,” he understates. “Yet there is no other way to live.”
A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular clarity.Pub Date: Jan. 19, 2016
ISBN: 978-0-8129-8840-6
Page Count: 248
Publisher: Random House
Review Posted Online: Sept. 29, 2015
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2015
PERSPECTIVES
Well-told and admonitory.
Young-rags-to-mature-riches memoir by broker and motivational speaker Gardner.
Born and raised in the Milwaukee ghetto, the author pulled himself up from considerable disadvantage. He was fatherless, and his adored mother wasn’t always around; once, as a child, he spied her at a family funeral accompanied by a prison guard. When beautiful, evanescent Moms was there, Chris also had to deal with Freddie “I ain’t your goddamn daddy!” Triplett, one of the meanest stepfathers in recent literature. Chris did “the dozens” with the homies, boosted a bit and in the course of youthful adventure was raped. His heroes were Miles Davis, James Brown and Muhammad Ali. Meanwhile, at the behest of Moms, he developed a fondness for reading. He joined the Navy and became a medic (preparing badass Marines for proctology), and a proficient lab technician. Moving up in San Francisco, married and then divorced, he sold medical supplies. He was recruited as a trainee at Dean Witter just around the time he became a homeless single father. All his belongings in a shopping cart, Gardner sometimes slept with his young son at the office (apparently undiscovered by the night cleaning crew). The two also frequently bedded down in a public restroom. After Gardner’s talents were finally appreciated by the firm of Bear Stearns, his American Dream became real. He got the cool duds, hot car and fine ladies so coveted from afar back in the day. He even had a meeting with Nelson Mandela. Through it all, he remained a prideful parent. His own no-daddy blues are gone now.
Well-told and admonitory.Pub Date: June 1, 2006
ISBN: 0-06-074486-3
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Amistad/HarperCollins
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 15, 2006
© Copyright 2025 Kirkus Media LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Follow
Popular in this Genre
We can’t wait for you to join Kirkus!
It’s free and takes less than 10 seconds!
Already have an account? Log in.
OR
Sign in with GoogleTrouble signing in? Retrieve credentials.
Welcome Back!
OR
Sign in with GoogleTrouble signing in? Retrieve credentials.
