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COLUMBO

THE HELTER SKELTER MURDERS

Peter Falk meets Charles Manson, right? Well, not exactly: The rumpled detective isn't really played by the TV actor, though he sure looks and sounds like him, and he meets Manson only once, briefly—not counting the time back in 1969 when (we're told) he was part of the original Manson family investigation. Unlike Lt. Columbo's hardcover debut (Columbo: The Grassy Knoll, 1993), this cheatingly titled case doesn't reopen a real-life crime and doesn't involve the Manson family except in the most peripheral sense: as a cover for a very ordinary copycat murder timed for the silver anniversary of Sharon Tate's death. Taking advantage of the fact that Cathy Murphy—baptized Puss Dogood when she threw in with Manson 25 years ago—is his hated wife Arlene's secretary, LA boutique king Yussef Khoury plots with his own secretary/lover Kimberly Dana to kill Arlene and her paramour and pin the blame on poor Puss. Luckily for the Manson class of '69, the inimitable Columbo is on the scene, imperturbably writing out his grocery list, trying once again to qualify with his own .38, mumbling about taking scuba lessons, and incidentally nailing the conspirators while providing his faithful TV audience whatever thrills they can get from cheering ``hotter, hotter'' (his inquiries about a Harry Winston choker supposedly stolen from Arlene's nightstand) and ``colder, colder'' (an interminable subplot involving Khoury's film production company) en route to a windup without a single new surprise and an epilogue cribbed from Dragnet. Colder, Lieutenant. Ice cold.

Pub Date: Aug. 1, 1994

ISBN: 0-312-85537-0

Page Count: 304

Publisher: Forge

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: June 1, 1994

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THE THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE

Heartfelt, yes, but pretty routine.

Life lessons.

Angie Malone, the youngest of a big, warm Italian-American family, returns to her Pacific Northwest hometown to wrestle with various midlife disappointments: her divorce, Papa’s death, a downturn in business at the family restaurant, and, above all, her childlessness. After several miscarriages, she, a successful ad exec, and husband Conlan, a reporter, befriended a pregnant young girl and planned to adopt her baby—and then the birth mother changed her mind. Angie and Conlan drifted apart and soon found they just didn’t love each other anymore. Metaphorically speaking, “her need for a child had been a high tide, an overwhelming force that drowned them. A year ago, she could have kicked to the surface but not now.” Sadder but wiser, Angie goes to work in the struggling family restaurant, bickering with Mama over updating the menu and replacing the ancient waitress. Soon, Angie befriends another young girl, Lauren Ribido, who’s eager to learn and desperately needs a job. Lauren’s family lives on the wrong side of the tracks, and her mother is a promiscuous alcoholic, but Angie knows nothing of this sad story and welcomes Lauren into the DeSaria family circle. The girl listens in, wide-eyed, as the sisters argue and make wisecracks and—gee-whiz—are actually nice to each other. Nothing at all like her relationship with her sluttish mother, who throws Lauren out when boyfriend David, en route to Stanford, gets her pregnant. Will Lauren, who’s just been accepted to USC, let Angie adopt her baby? Well, a bit of a twist at the end keeps things from becoming too predictable.

Heartfelt, yes, but pretty routine.

Pub Date: July 1, 2004

ISBN: 0-345-46750-7

Page Count: 400

Publisher: Ballantine

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 15, 2004

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A CONSPIRACY OF BONES

Forget about solving all these crimes; the signal triumph here is (spoiler) the heroine’s survival.

Another sweltering month in Charlotte, another boatload of mysteries past and present for overworked, overstressed forensic anthropologist Temperance Brennan.

A week after the night she chases but fails to catch a mysterious trespasser outside her town house, some unknown party texts Tempe four images of a corpse that looks as if it’s been chewed by wild hogs, because it has been. Showboat Medical Examiner Margot Heavner makes it clear that, breaking with her department’s earlier practice (The Bone Collection, 2016, etc.), she has no intention of calling in Tempe as a consultant and promptly identifies the faceless body herself as that of a young Asian man. Nettled by several errors in Heavner’s analysis, and even more by her willingness to share the gory details at a press conference, Tempe launches her own investigation, which is not so much off the books as against the books. Heavner isn’t exactly mollified when Tempe, aided by retired police detective Skinny Slidell and a host of experts, puts a name to the dead man. But the hints of other crimes Tempe’s identification uncovers, particularly crimes against children, spur her on to redouble her efforts despite the new M.E.’s splenetic outbursts. Before he died, it seems, Felix Vodyanov was linked to a passenger ferry that sank in 1994, an even earlier U.S. government project to research biological agents that could control human behavior, the hinky spiritual retreat Sparkling Waters, the dark web site DeepUnder, and the disappearances of at least four schoolchildren, two of whom have also turned up dead. And why on earth was Vodyanov carrying Tempe’s own contact information? The mounting evidence of ever more and ever worse skulduggery will pull Tempe deeper and deeper down what even she sees as a rabbit hole before she confronts a ringleader implicated in “Drugs. Fraud. Breaking and entering. Arson. Kidnapping. How does attempted murder sound?”

Forget about solving all these crimes; the signal triumph here is (spoiler) the heroine’s survival.

Pub Date: March 17, 2020

ISBN: 978-1-9821-3888-2

Page Count: 352

Publisher: Scribner

Review Posted Online: Dec. 22, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2020

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