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THE SOCIAL PARADOX

AUTONOMY, CONNECTION, AND WHY WE NEED BOTH TO FIND HAPPINESS

A thought-provoking look at how to bring balance back into our lives.

A breakdown of enduring bonds lies at the root of our discontent, according to this wide-ranging examination.

A central paradox of the modern era is that we are becoming more unhappy even though, compared with hunter-gatherers, “the comforts, safety, and ease of our existence make us the equivalent of multimillionaires.” So says von Hippel, a longtime professor of psychology, who delved into sociology, anthropology, and biology for some answers. He argues that societies are constructed around two evolutionary imperatives: the need to connect with others, and the desire for personal autonomy. The people in hunter-gatherer societies tend to be quite happy because they have a network of connections, even while they have room for self-expression and individual action. As societies become more complex and productive, the autonomy imperative becomes dominant over the connection imperative, and the balance is lost. The point of equilibrium varies between individuals, but von Hippel says that everyone needs a mix of both—no amount of money, novelty, and blingy tech can make up for a lack of connection with others. The author devotes a chapter to the impact of social media, which can undermine genuine connections (not surprisingly) if the screen becomes central to one’s life. Used the right way, however, it can be a powerful antidote to an excess of autonomy. Von Hippel offers a series of suggestions for finding a better balance, mainly by making personal linkages a part of life rather than an occasional afterthought. “Choosing autonomy has become a habit for most of us,” he writes. “But once you start adding connection back into your daily life, that, too, will become automatic and easy. It should also be incredibly rewarding.”

A thought-provoking look at how to bring balance back into our lives.

Pub Date: Feb. 18, 2025

ISBN: 9780063319257

Page Count: 304

Publisher: HarperCollins

Review Posted Online: Dec. 13, 2024

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2025

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WHEN BREATH BECOMES AIR

A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular...

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A neurosurgeon with a passion for literature tragically finds his perfect subject after his diagnosis of terminal lung cancer.

Writing isn’t brain surgery, but it’s rare when someone adept at the latter is also so accomplished at the former. Searching for meaning and purpose in his life, Kalanithi pursued a doctorate in literature and had felt certain that he wouldn’t enter the field of medicine, in which his father and other members of his family excelled. “But I couldn’t let go of the question,” he writes, after realizing that his goals “didn’t quite fit in an English department.” “Where did biology, morality, literature and philosophy intersect?” So he decided to set aside his doctoral dissertation and belatedly prepare for medical school, which “would allow me a chance to find answers that are not in books, to find a different sort of sublime, to forge relationships with the suffering, and to keep following the question of what makes human life meaningful, even in the face of death and decay.” The author’s empathy undoubtedly made him an exceptional doctor, and the precision of his prose—as well as the moral purpose underscoring it—suggests that he could have written a good book on any subject he chose. Part of what makes this book so essential is the fact that it was written under a death sentence following the diagnosis that upended his life, just as he was preparing to end his residency and attract offers at the top of his profession. Kalanithi learned he might have 10 years to live or perhaps five. Should he return to neurosurgery (he could and did), or should he write (he also did)? Should he and his wife have a baby? They did, eight months before he died, which was less than two years after the original diagnosis. “The fact of death is unsettling,” he understates. “Yet there is no other way to live.”

A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular clarity.

Pub Date: Jan. 19, 2016

ISBN: 978-0-8129-8840-6

Page Count: 248

Publisher: Random House

Review Posted Online: Sept. 29, 2015

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2015

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ONE DAY, EVERYONE WILL HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AGAINST THIS

A philosophically rich critique of state violence and mass apathy.

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An Egyptian Canadian journalist writes searchingly of this time of war.

“Rules, conventions, morals, reality itself: all exist so long as their existence is convenient to the preservation of power.” So writes El Akkad, who goes on to state that one of the demands of modern power is that those subject to it must imagine that some group of people somewhere are not fully human. El Akkad’s pointed example is Gaza, the current destruction of which, he writes, is causing millions of people around the world to examine the supposedly rules-governed, democratic West and declare, “I want nothing to do with this.” El Akkad, author of the novel American War (2017), discerns hypocrisy and racism in the West’s defense of Ukraine and what he views as indifference toward the Palestinian people. No stranger to war zones himself—El Akkad was a correspondent in Afghanistan and Iraq—he writes with grim matter-of-factness about murdered children, famine, and the deliberate targeting of civilians. With no love for Zionism lost, he offers an equally harsh critique of Hamas, yet another one of the “entities obsessed with violence as an ethos, brutal in their treatment of minority groups who in their view should not exist, and self-­decreed to be the true protectors of an entire religion.” Taking a global view, El Akkad, who lives in the U.S., finds almost every government and society wanting, and not least those, he says, that turn away and pretend not to know, behavior that we’ve seen before and that, in the spirit of his title, will one day be explained away until, in the end, it comes down to “a quiet unheard reckoning in the winter of life between the one who said nothing, did nothing, and their own soul.”

A philosophically rich critique of state violence and mass apathy.

Pub Date: Feb. 25, 2025

ISBN: 9780593804148

Page Count: 224

Publisher: Knopf

Review Posted Online: Dec. 14, 2024

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2025

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