A concise, frank, easy-to-implement and genuinely helpful guide to setting digital boundaries.
A psychologist tackles one of today’s thorniest parenting problems.
The digital world often sneaks up on parents. Devices and media are multiplying and changing so fast, becoming nearly ubiquitous, that it can seem like family rules are always one step behind reality. Few parents want to offer unrestricted access to devices and media of all sorts, and even fewer want to ban them completely. Lender, in her debut book, offers a middle path. She wastes no time, setting up the central problem in just four pages: Electronic media can take over a family’s life. But, she says, her audience already knows that; they’re looking for a road to familial digital harmony. Lender quickly dives into her 10 key principles, including knowing today’s technology, setting expectations, being consistent and practicing what you preach. She is refreshingly specific about what constitute reasonable time limits and expectations for various ages and how to communicate those notions. Her most innovative piece of advice—creating a “positive digital floor plan”—is itself worth the price of admission: “The digital floor plan of your home, or the location of all the digital access points, can either greatly support your digital parenting plan or sabotage it,” she says. About a third of the book is dedicated to tools, such as worksheets, checklists, sample contracts to be agreed upon between parents and children, and the like. Some parents may balk at something as formal as a written contract or as rigid as a daily schedule, while others will find this kind of outside authority and its crystal-clear written communication to be just what their families need. Parents should expect the lists of social media sites, monitoring software and other online resources to go out of date fairly quickly—this is the modern world, after all—so independent research may be required. While Lender focuses on teens and tweens, it’s never too soon to start laying the groundwork for healthy relationships in the digital world; in fact, parents may find that, digitally speaking, their kids grow up even faster than they imagined.
A concise, frank, easy-to-implement and genuinely helpful guide to setting digital boundaries.Pub Date: April 21, 2014
ISBN: 978-1495945724
Page Count: 144
Publisher: CreateSpace
Review Posted Online: May 29, 2014
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.
An analysis of our emotions and the skills required to understand them.
We all have emotions, but how many of us have the vocabulary to accurately describe our experiences or to understand how our emotions affect the way we act? In this guide to help readers with their emotions, Brackett, the founding director of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, presents a five-step method he calls R.U.L.E.R.: We need to recognize our emotions, understand what has caused them, be able to label them with precise terms and descriptions, know how to safely and effectively express them, and be able to regulate them in productive ways. The author walks readers through each step and provides an intriguing tool to use to help identify a specific emotion. Brackett introduces a four-square grid called a Mood Meter, which allows one to define where an emotion falls based on pleasantness and energy. He also uses four colors for each quadrant: yellow for high pleasantness and high energy, red for low pleasantness and high energy, green for high pleasantness and low energy, and blue for low pleasantness and low energy. The idea is to identify where an emotion lies in this grid in order to put the R.U.L.E.R. method to good use. The author’s research is wide-ranging, and his interweaving of his personal story with the data helps make the book less academic and more accessible to general readers. It’s particularly useful for parents and teachers who want to help children learn to handle difficult emotions so that they can thrive rather than be overwhelmed by them. The author’s system will also find use in the workplace. “Emotions are the most powerful force inside the workplace—as they are in every human endeavor,” writes Brackett. “They influence everything from leadership effectiveness to building and maintaining complex relationships, from innovation to customer relations.”
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-250-21284-9
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Celadon Books
Review Posted Online: June 22, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2019
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...
Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.
Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.Pub Date: March 21, 2017
ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017
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