Kindly crackpot Richie Blossom's developed his latest invention- -runproof, snagproof pantyhose--just in time for a Miami pantyhose convention. If he can just raise $1.1 million over the convention weekend, he can save the Fourth Quarter--the housing project he shares with other retirees--from getting sold out from under them. But Ruth Craddock, ``queen of the cotton crotch'' for industry giant Calla-Lily Hosiery, is determined to keep Richie's invention off the market, and somebody's hired a thug to kill him too. Fortunately, L.A. shamus Regan Reilly (Decked, 1992) is on hand to solve the mystery--or would be, if there were any mystery. (The mastermind of the tepidly nefarious plot turns out to be an insanely minor character who might just as well have been your grandmother.) Good-natured, gamely humorous, but clueless. As for Richie's invention, well, ``This stuff is like kryptonite. It just won't destruct.''