A thoughtful discussion and sometimes-passionate plea for civility and consideration in conversation.
In this era of social media and increasing political and cultural polarization, we need to think more about how and why we converse with one another.
Headlee—who hosts the daily news show On Second Thought on Georgia Public Broadcasting and has been involved in radio broadcasting since the late 1990s—debuts with a book offering different moves and steps to the oft-heard music of the self-help genre. Serious readers will be glad to see the text is not chockablock with bullet points and other graphic favorites (and clichés) of the genre. Instead, the author delivers well-researched and careful analysis of how and why we talk with one another—our strengths and (myriad) weaknesses. Throughout, Headlee surveys psychological and neurological research, reminding us, among other things, that we are not good at multitasking, that areas of our brains light up when we talk about ourselves, and that we have the attention span of a goldfish. The first half of her text is roughly a theoretical foundation of the second, which offers her “specific strategies” for conversing. She suggests that we keep conversations short, eschew preaching, recognize and acknowledge the limits of our knowledge, and listen. Most significantly, she continually returns to her theme of empathy, a factor missing in so many conversations. We are so eager to tell our stories that we neglect to listen attentively to what the other person is saying. Occasionally, Headlee falls victim to platitudes: conversation is like a river; we need to be “fully present” in our conversations, etc. Still, she is appealingly self-deprecating, repeatedly discussing and dissecting her own conversational failures and disasters, and she alludes to a range of authorities on the topics.
A thoughtful discussion and sometimes-passionate plea for civility and consideration in conversation.Pub Date: Sept. 19, 2017
ISBN: 978-0-06-266900-1
Page Count: 240
Publisher: Harper Wave
Review Posted Online: June 26, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2017
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.
A follow-on to the author’s garbled but popular 48 Laws of Power, promising that readers will learn how to win friends and influence people, to say nothing of outfoxing all those “toxic types” out in the world.
Greene (Mastery, 2012, etc.) begins with a big sell, averring that his book “is designed to immerse you in all aspects of human behavior and illuminate its root causes.” To gauge by this fat compendium, human behavior is mostly rotten, a presumption that fits with the author’s neo-Machiavellian program of self-validation and eventual strategic supremacy. The author works to formula: First, state a “law,” such as “confront your dark side” or “know your limits,” the latter of which seems pale compared to the Delphic oracle’s “nothing in excess.” Next, elaborate on that law with what might seem to be as plain as day: “Losing contact with reality, we make irrational decisions. That is why our success often does not last.” One imagines there might be other reasons for the evanescence of glory, but there you go. Finally, spin out a long tutelary yarn, seemingly the longer the better, to shore up the truism—in this case, the cometary rise and fall of one-time Disney CEO Michael Eisner, with the warning, “his fate could easily be yours, albeit most likely on a smaller scale,” which ranks right up there with the fortuneteller’s “I sense that someone you know has died" in orders of probability. It’s enough to inspire a new law: Beware of those who spend too much time telling you what you already know, even when it’s dressed up in fresh-sounding terms. “Continually mix the visceral with the analytic” is the language of a consultant’s report, more important-sounding than “go with your gut but use your head, too.”
The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.Pub Date: Oct. 23, 2018
ISBN: 978-0-525-42814-5
Page Count: 580
Publisher: Viking
Review Posted Online: July 30, 2018
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2018
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.
An analysis of our emotions and the skills required to understand them.
We all have emotions, but how many of us have the vocabulary to accurately describe our experiences or to understand how our emotions affect the way we act? In this guide to help readers with their emotions, Brackett, the founding director of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, presents a five-step method he calls R.U.L.E.R.: We need to recognize our emotions, understand what has caused them, be able to label them with precise terms and descriptions, know how to safely and effectively express them, and be able to regulate them in productive ways. The author walks readers through each step and provides an intriguing tool to use to help identify a specific emotion. Brackett introduces a four-square grid called a Mood Meter, which allows one to define where an emotion falls based on pleasantness and energy. He also uses four colors for each quadrant: yellow for high pleasantness and high energy, red for low pleasantness and high energy, green for high pleasantness and low energy, and blue for low pleasantness and low energy. The idea is to identify where an emotion lies in this grid in order to put the R.U.L.E.R. method to good use. The author’s research is wide-ranging, and his interweaving of his personal story with the data helps make the book less academic and more accessible to general readers. It’s particularly useful for parents and teachers who want to help children learn to handle difficult emotions so that they can thrive rather than be overwhelmed by them. The author’s system will also find use in the workplace. “Emotions are the most powerful force inside the workplace—as they are in every human endeavor,” writes Brackett. “They influence everything from leadership effectiveness to building and maintaining complex relationships, from innovation to customer relations.”
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-250-21284-9
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Celadon Books
Review Posted Online: June 22, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2019
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