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LOSING OUR RELIGION

HOW UNAFFILIATED PARENTS ARE RAISING THEIR CHILDREN

Refreshingly nonpolemical—will be of special interest to secular parents struggling with some of the issues presented.

To Sunday school or not to Sunday school?

To the intriguing question of how parents without religious affiliation raise their children, the answers vary, as do the parents studied here. Manning (Religious Studies/Sacred Heart Univ.; God Gave Us The Right: Conservative Catholic, Evangelical Protestant, and Orthodox Jewish Women Grapple with Feminism, 1999, etc.) opens with data about the rapidly growing number of people in the United States, especially those under 30, who list “none” when asked to indicate their religious affiliation. The author divides the “Nones” into four categories—unchurched believer, spiritual seeker, philosophical secularist, and the indifferent—which she takes pains to differentiate. She discusses the plusses and minuses of five strategies by which parents attempt to transmit a worldview to their children: going back to church, finding an alternative community, doing it oneself, letting others do it, and finally, doing nothing. In addition to using existing surveys and demographic data, Manning conducted interviews with Nones across the country, seeking to discover how they differ from churched Americans, asking what choices they made about including religion in their children’s lives, what strategies they adopted, how community and family pressures shaped their choices, and how having children affected their own worldviews. A self-identified None, she clearly established a rapport with her subjects that enabled her to extract thoughtful, revealing answers. She summarizes some responses and quotes extensively from others, making the book longer than absolutely necessary but more pleasurable than a more academic text. Having presented the results of her study and analyzed its significance, the author then muses on the meaning of choice in religion, the significance of this trend toward personal choice, and its impact on the culture at large. As to whether it is better to raise children with or without religion, her conclusion is that more study is needed to answer that question.

Refreshingly nonpolemical—will be of special interest to secular parents struggling with some of the issues presented.

Pub Date: Nov. 20, 2015

ISBN: 978-1-4798-7425-5

Page Count: 256

Publisher: New York Univ.

Review Posted Online: Aug. 14, 2015

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 2015

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THE ESCAPE ARTIST

A vivid sequel that strains credulity.

Fremont (After Long Silence, 1999) continues—and alters—her story of how memories of the Holocaust affected her family.

At the age of 44, the author learned that her father had disowned her, declaring her “predeceased”—or dead in his eyes—in his will. It was his final insult: Her parents had stopped speaking to her after she’d published After Long Silence, which exposed them as Jewish Holocaust survivors who had posed as Catholics in Europe and America in order to hide multilayered secrets. Here, Fremont delves further into her tortured family dynamics and shows how the rift developed. One thread centers on her life after her harrowing childhood: her education at Wellesley and Boston University, the loss of her virginity to a college boyfriend before accepting her lesbianism, her stint with the Peace Corps in Lesotho, and her decades of work as a lawyer in Boston. Another strand involves her fraught relationship with her sister, Lara, and how their difficulties relate to their father, a doctor embittered after years in the Siberian gulag; and their mother, deeply enmeshed with her own sister, Zosia, who had married an Italian count and stayed in Rome to raise a child. Fremont tells these stories with novelistic flair, ending with a surprising theory about why her parents hid their Judaism. Yet she often appears insensitive to the serious problems she says Lara once faced, including suicidal depression. “The whole point of suicide, I thought, was to succeed at it,” she writes. “My sister’s completion rate was pathetic.” Key facts also differ from those in her earlier work. After Long Silence says, for example, that the author grew up “in a small city in the Midwest” while she writes here that she grew up in “upstate New York,” changes Fremont says she made for “consistency” in the new book but that muddy its narrative waters. The discrepancies may not bother readers seeking psychological insights rather than factual accuracy, but others will wonder if this book should have been labeled a fictionalized autobiography rather than a memoir.

A vivid sequel that strains credulity.

Pub Date: Feb. 11, 2020

ISBN: 978-1-982113-60-5

Page Count: 352

Publisher: Gallery Books/Simon & Schuster

Review Posted Online: Oct. 20, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 15, 2019

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STRONG MOTHERS, STRONG SONS

LESSONS MOTHERS NEED TO RAISE EXTRAORDINARY MEN

Solid, practical advice for women on how to properly nurture their sons.

How women can raise boys to become good men.

More than ever, women are under pressure to be "everything to everyone," writes Meeker (The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity, 2010, etc.), as "working women feel that they must perform equally well both in the office and in caring for their home, husband, and children." The dynamics of raising boys is especially difficult for women due to the gender difference and the fact that women tend to be nurturing and helpful while allowing their sons to evolve into men in a constantly shifting masculine paradigm. Through research and interviews from her own practice, Meeker gives women the necessary tools to understand that perfection is not a realistic goal but that doing the best one can will ensure good results. Equally useful to single mothers and women with husbands is the advice that sons need to know they are loved from a very young age, as this builds a foundation of confidence in a child, a base that allows a boy to gradually move away from his mother as he interacts with male peers and elders. A boy's home life must be solid: a safe haven to return to regardless of his age, a place where his thoughts and feelings are respected and where he can express his hopes and dreams without fear of judgment. Meeker recommends introducing boys to religion, prayer and the unconditional love that comes from having a strong faith to boost self-confidence. She also skillfully navigates the world of sex—from a boy's first body awareness to the powerful effects of pornography and sexual messages embedded in social media, video games and news media, to his interactions in the world of girls and women. A mother's imprint on her son is powerful right from birth and remains so throughout her son's life. Meeker's advice gives women the tools to navigate these often rocky waters with confidence.

Solid, practical advice for women on how to properly nurture their sons.

Pub Date: April 8, 2014

ISBN: 978-0-345-51809-5

Page Count: 368

Publisher: Ballantine

Review Posted Online: Feb. 18, 2014

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2014

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