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Fifty Shades of Schwarz

A fairly amusing, sometimes erotic story of contemporary urban Jewish young womanhood.

In Harris’ novel, a young Jewish woman in a dead-end relationship meets a charismatic man who enjoys spanking her.

Although its title suggests a broad, Mel Brooks–style sendup of E.L. James’ erotic romance Fifty Shades of Grey (2011), most of this novel follows a fairly standard chick-lit format: A young woman in a trendy job juggles relationship troubles, family and work. Maya Stein, nearing 30, lives in Brooklyn and works at an Internet advertising agency. Her mother is eager to see her settle down; she knows a nice, single rabbi. Maya’s relationship with her boyfriend, Jeremy, is so lukewarm that she decides to post a profile on JDate, the online Jewish dating service. She hears from Aaron Schwarz, a commercial real estate broker. He owns his own firm, he explains, since he prefers being in charge, which intrigues Maya. Unlike Jeremy, who relies on Groupon discounts when taking Maya out, Aaron treats her to concerts, good restaurants and cab rides home from Manhattan. After Maya and Aaron become intimate, he confesses his real turn-on: tying girls up and spanking them while playing a kind of “Jewish Jeopardy,” asking “questions that would be considered common knowledge to someone who has a reasonable grounding in Judaica.” Wrong guesses earn smacks from Aaron’s belt, then tempestuous sex, which shakes up Maya emotionally as it wows her physically. With questions about dreidels punctuated by whaps, Harris does put a Jewish spin on Fifty Shades of Grey, but calling this novel a parody—an exaggerated, humorous imitation—is a misnomer. If anything, it’s more low-key than the original. Schwarz isn’t the mysterious, cold, distant mogul that Christian Grey is; he’s well-off but not a billionaire, and he’s reasonably, not ridiculously, good looking. Maya, meanwhile, is far more confident, sexually and personally, than the hapless Anastasia Steele; in the end, it’s Maya who offers financial backing to the man of her dreams. A parody it’s not—but readers may indeed prefer these alterations, which make this novel more relatable, funny and perhaps even more feminist than the original Fifty Shades.

A fairly amusing, sometimes erotic story of contemporary urban Jewish young womanhood.

Pub Date: May 1, 2013

ISBN: 978-0989192019

Page Count: 282

Publisher: Fifty Tales Media

Review Posted Online: June 10, 2013

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THE THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE

Heartfelt, yes, but pretty routine.

Life lessons.

Angie Malone, the youngest of a big, warm Italian-American family, returns to her Pacific Northwest hometown to wrestle with various midlife disappointments: her divorce, Papa’s death, a downturn in business at the family restaurant, and, above all, her childlessness. After several miscarriages, she, a successful ad exec, and husband Conlan, a reporter, befriended a pregnant young girl and planned to adopt her baby—and then the birth mother changed her mind. Angie and Conlan drifted apart and soon found they just didn’t love each other anymore. Metaphorically speaking, “her need for a child had been a high tide, an overwhelming force that drowned them. A year ago, she could have kicked to the surface but not now.” Sadder but wiser, Angie goes to work in the struggling family restaurant, bickering with Mama over updating the menu and replacing the ancient waitress. Soon, Angie befriends another young girl, Lauren Ribido, who’s eager to learn and desperately needs a job. Lauren’s family lives on the wrong side of the tracks, and her mother is a promiscuous alcoholic, but Angie knows nothing of this sad story and welcomes Lauren into the DeSaria family circle. The girl listens in, wide-eyed, as the sisters argue and make wisecracks and—gee-whiz—are actually nice to each other. Nothing at all like her relationship with her sluttish mother, who throws Lauren out when boyfriend David, en route to Stanford, gets her pregnant. Will Lauren, who’s just been accepted to USC, let Angie adopt her baby? Well, a bit of a twist at the end keeps things from becoming too predictable.

Heartfelt, yes, but pretty routine.

Pub Date: July 1, 2004

ISBN: 0-345-46750-7

Page Count: 400

Publisher: Ballantine

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 15, 2004

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HOME FRONT

Less bleak than the subject matter might warrant—Hannah’s default outlook is sunny—but still, a wrenching depiction of war’s...

 The traumatic homecoming of a wounded warrior.

The daughter of alcoholics who left her orphaned at 17, Jolene “Jo” Zarkades found her first stable family in the military: She’s served over two decades, first in the army, later with the National Guard. A helicopter pilot stationed near Seattle, Jo copes as competently at home, raising two daughters, Betsy and Lulu, while trying to dismiss her husband Michael’s increasing emotional distance. Jo’s mettle is sorely tested when Michael informs her flatly that he no longer loves her. Four-year-old Lulu clamors for attention while preteen Betsy, mean-girl-in-training, dismisses as dweeby her former best friend, Seth, son of Jo’s confidante and fellow pilot, Tami. Amid these challenges comes the ultimate one: Jo and Tami are deployed to Iraq. Michael, with the help of his mother, has to take over the household duties, and he rapidly learns that parenting is much harder than his wife made it look. As Michael prepares to defend a PTSD-afflicted veteran charged with Murder I for killing his wife during a dissociative blackout, he begins to understand what Jolene is facing and to revisit his true feelings for her. When her helicopter is shot down under insurgent fire, Jo rescues Tami from the wreck, but a young crewman is killed. Tami remains in a coma and Jo, whose leg has been amputated, returns home to a difficult rehabilitation on several fronts. Her nightmares in which she relives the crash and other horrors she witnessed, and her pain, have turned Jo into a person her daughters now fear (which in the case of bratty Betsy may not be such a bad thing). Jo can't forgive Michael for his rash words. Worse, she is beginning to remind Michael more and more of his homicide client. Characterization can be cursory: Michael’s earlier callousness, left largely unexplained, undercuts the pathos of his later change of heart. 

Less bleak than the subject matter might warrant—Hannah’s default outlook is sunny—but still, a wrenching depiction of war’s aftermath.

Pub Date: Jan. 31, 2012

ISBN: 978-0-312-57720-9

Page Count: 400

Publisher: St. Martin's

Review Posted Online: Dec. 18, 2011

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 2012

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