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FEAR OF MISSING OUT

A heartbreaking story of loss and grief peopled with nuanced, endearing characters that ultimately leaves the reader with a...

After two years in remission, Astrid’s brain tumor is back—and this time, it’s not going away.

Sixteen-year-old Astrid Ayeroff has a tumor wrapped around her brain stem. Since she’s already beaten cancer once, Astrid’s single mother and her Indian-American boyfriend, Mohit, are convinced she can do it again. Thanks to Astrid’s internship at her doctor’s office, though, she’s learned enough to realize that this time she’s unlikely to survive, even if she enrolls in a promising new clinical trial as Mohit and her mom wish. So while her mother researches experimental treatment options, Astrid investigates cryopreservation, a scientific technique for freezing a body at the moment of death and possibly reviving it in the future. In the process, she realizes she needs to make some difficult decisions about how she wants to live—which means deciding how she wants to die. A deeply felt, nuanced story of coping with terminal illness, McGovern’s (Rules for 50/50 Chances, 2015) novel features a protagonist whose voice strikes just the right balance between poignancy and wit. The well-paced plot prioritizes Astrid’s grief while simultaneously providing windows into the struggles of the people she loves, including a diverse cast of characters. Astrid’s best friend, Chloe, has two mothers; Astrid and her family are assumed white.

A heartbreaking story of loss and grief peopled with nuanced, endearing characters that ultimately leaves the reader with a feeling of triumph. (Fiction. 14-18)

Pub Date: March 19, 2019

ISBN: 978-0-374-30547-5

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux

Review Posted Online: Nov. 20, 2018

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 2019

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IF ONLY I HAD TOLD HER

A heavy read about the harsh realities of tragedy and their effects on those left behind.

In this companion novel to 2013’s If He Had Been With Me, three characters tell their sides of the story.

Finn’s narrative starts three days before his death. He explores the progress of his unrequited love for best friend Autumn up until the day he finally expresses his feelings. Finn’s story ends with his tragic death, which leaves his close friends devastated, unmoored, and uncertain how to go on. Jack’s section follows, offering a heartbreaking look at what it’s like to live with grief. Jack works to overcome the anger he feels toward Sylvie, the girlfriend Finn was breaking up with when he died, and Autumn, the girl he was preparing to build his life around (but whom Jack believed wasn’t good enough for Finn). But when Jack sees how Autumn’s grief matches his own, it changes their understanding of one another. Autumn’s chapters trace her life without Finn as readers follow her struggles with mental health and balancing love and loss. Those who have read the earlier book will better connect with and feel for these characters, particularly since they’ll have a more well-rounded impression of Finn. The pain and anger is well written, and the novel highlights the most troublesome aspects of young adulthood: overconfidence sprinkled with heavy insecurities, fear-fueled decisions, bad communication, and brash judgments. Characters are cued white.

A heavy read about the harsh realities of tragedy and their effects on those left behind. (author’s note, content warning) (Fiction. 14-18)

Pub Date: Feb. 6, 2024

ISBN: 9781728276229

Page Count: 416

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Review Posted Online: Jan. 5, 2024

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2024

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IF HE HAD BEEN WITH ME

There’s not much plot here, but readers will relish the opportunity to climb inside Autumn’s head.

The finely drawn characters capture readers’ attention in this debut.

Autumn and Phineas, nicknamed Finny, were born a week apart; their mothers are still best friends. Growing up, Autumn and Finny were like peas in a pod despite their differences: Autumn is “quirky and odd,” while Finny is “sweet and shy and everyone like[s] him.” But in eighth grade, Autumn and Finny stop being friends due to an unexpected kiss. They drift apart and find new friends, but their friendship keeps asserting itself at parties, shared holiday gatherings and random encounters. In the summer after graduation, Autumn and Finny reconnect and are finally ready to be more than friends. But on August 8, everything changes, and Autumn has to rely on all her strength to move on. Autumn’s coming-of-age is sensitively chronicled, with a wide range of experiences and events shaping her character. Even secondary characters are well-rounded, with their own histories and motivations.

There’s not much plot here, but readers will relish the opportunity to climb inside Autumn’s head.   (Fiction. 14 & up)

Pub Date: April 1, 2013

ISBN: 978-1-4022-7782-5

Page Count: 336

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Review Posted Online: Feb. 12, 2013

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2013

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