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Senior Online Dating

WE ARE NOT DEAD YET

This delightful book is less of a how-to guide and more of an entertaining, inspirational memoir about finding love and...

An instructional guide coupled with a humorous memoir that discusses the benefits and perils of online dating for older adults.

When the author’s beloved wife of more than four decades passed away, he fell into a three-year depression. Slowly, he began the process of moving forward. He sold his house and relocated to a small apartment, at which point his sister gave him a subscription to an Internet dating website. After some internal turmoil, he dove into the waters of online dating and found great joy in socializing with new people. In his debut book, the author explains what senior citizens can expect when looking for love on the Internet. With plenty of wit and good-natured self-deprecation, he describes his successes at playing the dating game—and his mishaps, as when lying about his age led to an uncomfortable conversation with a potential mate. He offers an honest, clever perspective on writing an online biography, poking gentle fun at people who list “long walks on the beach” and other stereotypical lines as their interests. He also gives helpful tips on navigating challenges his peers are likely to face, from dining on a fixed income to traveling with limited mobility options. (A retired ophthalmologist, he lost his driving license due to an eye disease, about which he quips, “I did appreciate God’s fine sense of humor…had I been a neurosurgeon, I would have undoubtedly developed a brain tumor.”) The book would benefit from a bit more information on avoiding malicious characters or online scammers, and a few points are repeated more than once, such as the challenges of an active sex life at an advanced age and the author’s gentlemanly refusal to let his dates pay for their meals. However, the charming and disarmingly honest vignettes compensate for the lack of instructional information. Overall, the book’s charismatic tone and the author’s moving personal journey prove to be a winning, memorable combination.

This delightful book is less of a how-to guide and more of an entertaining, inspirational memoir about finding love and happiness after loss.

Pub Date: April 10, 2013

ISBN: 978-1482051766

Page Count: 140

Publisher: CreateSpace

Review Posted Online: June 25, 2013

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HOW NOT TO HATE YOUR HUSBAND AFTER KIDS

A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...

Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.

Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.

A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.

Pub Date: March 21, 2017

ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6

Page Count: 272

Publisher: Little, Brown

Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017

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DAD'S MAYBE BOOK

A miscellany of paternal pride (and frustration) darkened by the author’s increasing realizations of his mortality.

Ruminations and reminiscences of an author—now in his 70s—about fatherhood, writing, and death.

O’Brien (July, July, 2002, etc.), who achieved considerable literary fame with both Going After Cacciato (1978) and The Things They Carried (1990), returns with an eclectic assembly of pieces that grow increasingly valedictory as the idea of mortality creeps in. (The title comes from the author’s uncertainty about his ability to assemble these pieces in a single volume.) He begins and ends with a letter: The initial one is to his first son (from 2003); the terminal one, to his two sons, both of whom are now teens (the present). Throughout the book, there are a number of recurring sections: “Home School” (lessons for his sons to accomplish), “The Magic Show” (about his long interest in magic), and “Pride” (about his feelings for his sons’ accomplishments). O’Brien also writes often about his own father. One literary figure emerges as almost a member of the family: Ernest Hemingway. The author loves Hemingway’s work (except when he doesn’t) and often gives his sons some of Papa’s most celebrated stories to read and think and write about. Near the end is a kind of stand-alone essay about Hemingway’s writings about war and death, which O’Brien realizes is Hemingway’s real subject. Other celebrated literary figures pop up in the text, including Elizabeth Bishop, Andrew Marvell, George Orwell, and Flannery O’Connor. Although O’Brien’s strong anti-war feelings are prominent throughout, his principal interest is fatherhood—specifically, at becoming a father later in his life and realizing that he will miss so much of his sons’ lives. He includes touching and amusing stories about his toddler sons, about the sadness he felt when his older son became a teen and began to distance himself, and about his anguish when his sons failed at something.

A miscellany of paternal pride (and frustration) darkened by the author’s increasing realizations of his mortality.

Pub Date: Oct. 14, 2019

ISBN: 978-0-618-03970-8

Page Count: 384

Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Review Posted Online: July 27, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2019

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