Unflinchingly honest account of an ex-Marine's struggle to re-acclimate to civilian life after returning from Operation Iraqi Freedom.
When documentary film producer Scotti returned home in 2003 from a two-year tour of duty in Afghanistan and Iraq, he knew that “something was wrong.” The former lieutenant was whole in body but not in mind. Rather than own up to the fact that he was suffering from PTSD, Scotti charged ahead with his postwar plans to work Wall Street, “[w]here men waged financial warfare upon one another.” But the more time passed, the more the ambitious ex-Marine found himself engaged in a private battle against alcohol-fueled rages and the “blue cascade” of depression. Haunted by scenes of battlefield savagery he could not forget, Scotti contemplated suicide. A film project that involved footage he had shot while in Iraq became his path to personal salvation. Narrating the often brutal scenes allowed Scotti to come to terms with the human “weakness” that his training as a Marine had taught him to disavow. As he began to heal, he turned his thoughts to earning the MBA that he believed was the key to finding the stability and peace he craved. But he quickly discovered that the world of high finance was more about scheming and selfish politicking than working toward a common goal. Rather than accept the golden handcuffs of Wall Street, Scotti instead embraced his true work: helping veterans find the courage to express the unspeakable pains of war they carried like lead weights in their hearts.
An unapologetic gut-wrencher of a book.