Santa Claus Vampyre Slayer by Rob Fasone

Santa Claus Vampyre Slayer

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This full-throttle farce sees Santa and a select team of warriors battle the bloodthirsty undead.

One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus and his trusted elf Elmont are delivering presents in the Long Island area. In the town of South Rich, at the Beady household, Saint Nick senses malignance in the air. Finding blood on the floor, he follows the spotted trail upstairs to the bedrooms of young Scotty and Suzy. Each child’s neck bears a two-pronged puncture wound! Mr. and Mrs. Beady—transformed into monstrous vampires—suddenly attack Santa, who defends himself with ancient magic (and a giant silver-and-gold candy cane). Elmont, descended from a proud lineage of warrior elves, helps as well. After winning the battle, Santa decides that delivering presents can wait; South Rich must be cleansed of vampires. Santa animates a snowman to help scout the area, and they soon encounter a man named Harold “Butt” Buttley fighting the undead. The pudgy citizen wears a gaudy Christmas robe, curses with abandon and believes deeply in the legend of St. Nick. When he learns that Santa searches for the Master Vampire, Harold suggests the abandoned mansion on Reacher’s Cliff. The four vigilant slayers head there without a moment’s delay. Debut author Fasone’s lovably maniacal tale springs to life with equally improbable prose; the slim narrative is full of lines like: “He then began following the tiny red splatters across the floor like a hungry chicken pecking a trail of corn.” Fasone also makes brilliant use of Santa’s ancient powers, which include time manipulation, night vision and frigid energy blasts. Lest readers fear that holiday camp tramples the potential for horror action, Fasone frequently offers the epic flair found in high fantasy works: “The thing dropped hard to the carpet, and its body burst into a blinding flame of brilliant albescent color, flashing hot and sizzling low in less than an instant.” Rudolf also makes an appearance—as it turns out, the red light of his nose is perfect for vanquishing evil.

A thrilling new addition to the holiday literature canon.

Pub Date: Oct. 31st, 2013
ISBN: 978-1492229094
Page count: 98pp
Publisher: CreateSpace
Program: Kirkus Indie
Review Posted Online:
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 15th, 2014


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