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YOU MIGHT AS WELL LAUGH

A WORKING MOTHER'S #1 RULE

A selection of lighthearted, sometimes very funny newspaper and magazine columns about the perils of raising children and holding a job at the same time. A columnist/feature writer for the New Haven Register and for Working Mother magazine, Shelton gets great mileage from her descriptions of life with a husband (her second), two teenagers, and a toddler. Maternal survival (and sanity), she suggests, demands a sense of humor and a respect for the idiosyncrasies of one's family members. Shelton has both. Her topics range from ``sock bumps'' (socks were also a favorite topic of the late Erma Bombeck, to whom Shelton is perhaps prematurely compared) to the moment when she fell from the pedestal as an Enlightened Parent of the 1990s. That happened, she explains, when she heard herself abandon reason, empathy, and alternatives—the power tools of modern parenting—to fall back on such old-fashioned imperatives as ``get down [off that table] right this minute, or you're going to fall off and break your neck and you'll never walk again.'' Several columns offer the seemingly obligatory confessions of electronic ineptness (is there no popular writer who understands and enjoys technology?). Most charming are the tales of her daughter Stephanie, who goes from being a toddler to attending kindergarten in the course of these tales, and who is as enchanting to the reader as she is to her parents. Stephanie is the doyenne of an Object Relocation Program, which assigns Mom's wallet as a sleeping bag for Barbie and Mrs. Butterworth (a pancake syrup bottle) to babysit Barbie's baby. Shelton also muses on more adult concerns, including meditation, the dangerous month of February (``too cold, too difficult, and just too much trouble''), and the nature of family loyalty. A cheerful, flippant view of family life, with a compassionate undercurrent that gives these observations weight.

Pub Date: April 1, 1997

ISBN: 0-9631246-3-3

Page Count: 284

Publisher: Bancroft Press

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 1997

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PERMISSION TO FEEL

UNLOCKING THE POWER OF EMOTIONS TO HELP OUR KIDS, OURSELVES, AND OUR SOCIETY THRIVE

An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.

An analysis of our emotions and the skills required to understand them.

We all have emotions, but how many of us have the vocabulary to accurately describe our experiences or to understand how our emotions affect the way we act? In this guide to help readers with their emotions, Brackett, the founding director of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, presents a five-step method he calls R.U.L.E.R.: We need to recognize our emotions, understand what has caused them, be able to label them with precise terms and descriptions, know how to safely and effectively express them, and be able to regulate them in productive ways. The author walks readers through each step and provides an intriguing tool to use to help identify a specific emotion. Brackett introduces a four-square grid called a Mood Meter, which allows one to define where an emotion falls based on pleasantness and energy. He also uses four colors for each quadrant: yellow for high pleasantness and high energy, red for low pleasantness and high energy, green for high pleasantness and low energy, and blue for low pleasantness and low energy. The idea is to identify where an emotion lies in this grid in order to put the R.U.L.E.R. method to good use. The author’s research is wide-ranging, and his interweaving of his personal story with the data helps make the book less academic and more accessible to general readers. It’s particularly useful for parents and teachers who want to help children learn to handle difficult emotions so that they can thrive rather than be overwhelmed by them. The author’s system will also find use in the workplace. “Emotions are the most powerful force inside the workplace—as they are in every human endeavor,” writes Brackett. “They influence everything from leadership effectiveness to building and maintaining complex relationships, from innovation to customer relations.”

An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.

Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2019

ISBN: 978-1-250-21284-9

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Celadon Books

Review Posted Online: June 22, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2019

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THE ESCAPE ARTIST

A vivid sequel that strains credulity.

Fremont (After Long Silence, 1999) continues—and alters—her story of how memories of the Holocaust affected her family.

At the age of 44, the author learned that her father had disowned her, declaring her “predeceased”—or dead in his eyes—in his will. It was his final insult: Her parents had stopped speaking to her after she’d published After Long Silence, which exposed them as Jewish Holocaust survivors who had posed as Catholics in Europe and America in order to hide multilayered secrets. Here, Fremont delves further into her tortured family dynamics and shows how the rift developed. One thread centers on her life after her harrowing childhood: her education at Wellesley and Boston University, the loss of her virginity to a college boyfriend before accepting her lesbianism, her stint with the Peace Corps in Lesotho, and her decades of work as a lawyer in Boston. Another strand involves her fraught relationship with her sister, Lara, and how their difficulties relate to their father, a doctor embittered after years in the Siberian gulag; and their mother, deeply enmeshed with her own sister, Zosia, who had married an Italian count and stayed in Rome to raise a child. Fremont tells these stories with novelistic flair, ending with a surprising theory about why her parents hid their Judaism. Yet she often appears insensitive to the serious problems she says Lara once faced, including suicidal depression. “The whole point of suicide, I thought, was to succeed at it,” she writes. “My sister’s completion rate was pathetic.” Key facts also differ from those in her earlier work. After Long Silence says, for example, that the author grew up “in a small city in the Midwest” while she writes here that she grew up in “upstate New York,” changes Fremont says she made for “consistency” in the new book but that muddy its narrative waters. The discrepancies may not bother readers seeking psychological insights rather than factual accuracy, but others will wonder if this book should have been labeled a fictionalized autobiography rather than a memoir.

A vivid sequel that strains credulity.

Pub Date: Feb. 11, 2020

ISBN: 978-1-982113-60-5

Page Count: 352

Publisher: Gallery Books/Simon & Schuster

Review Posted Online: Oct. 20, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 15, 2019

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