45 by Scott Dikkers


A Portrait of My Knucklehead Brother Jeb
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A sometimes-amusing sendup of Jeb Bush, contender for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination.

In this parody written in the voice of former President George W. Bush, his brother, Jeb, is variously described as a bonehead, a fat dope, a natural-born bumbler, and a heroic blubber-butt in need of guidance on “his journey” to the White House. Who better to show him the way than big brother George, who helped Jeb learn to walk (“Those who cannot walk cannot lead”) and shared his childhood of “Freemason rituals, bloodlettings and animal sacrifices,” with “masked Illuminati sex parties” on weekends? In a slight follow-up to their 2006 parody, Destined for Destiny: The Unauthorized Autobiography of George W. Bush, The Onion founder Dikkers and public radio producer Hilleren recount the facts and foibles, real and imagined, of Jeb’s life and career, from his ineptitude with women (an exception being his marriage to a “pretend” Mexican woman) and his profiting from business failures (a family tradition) to his “great vision of a lower tax on corporations and a ‘choose life’ license plate” as two-time governor of Florida, where he also helped keep alive comatose Terri Schiavo and fought “powerful coral-reef interests” to promote offshore drilling. As it happens, clueless author George often upstages his subject, with ceaseless bragging about his own accomplishments, his penchant for communicating through images (he paints hot dogs and Tater Tots to order them in a restaurant), and his qualifications to serve as a presidential adviser on the Mideast. Jeb, alas, often seems a poor target for parody: “He’s kind of like a marshmallow. Kinda white, puffy, with an unassuming, bland character.”

A disappointing twist on the bestselling 41: A Portrait of My Father (2014). Readers may wish the authors had aimed at bigger game: the flamboyant Donald Trump, say, parodied in the voice of his developer father.

Pub Date: Nov. 3rd, 2015
ISBN: 978-1-4555-9285-2
Page count: 96pp
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
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