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SHE CALLED ME THROWAWAY

A MEMOIR

Difficult to read but ultimately hopeful and inspiring.

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Shams’ memoir details her immigration journey and her survival of sexual abuse.

The author, a blogger, storyteller, podcast host, and nonprofit professional, presents a harrowing story of childhood in Bangladesh, discussing the sexual abuse she suffered there. Per Shams, her mother, while under the influence of local religious leaders (one of whom she lived with for two years), allowed her daughter to be repeatedly raped as a child. (“I paid no attention to my small hands and fragile body lying lifeless waiting for it to end. Golam said nothing to me, as he didn’t even notice me. Although he would say, ‘You whore,’ as he left the room.”) Shams’ memoir addresses the effects of lingering shame and enforced silence and explores how the eventual breaking of that silence made healing possible. The memoir’s other major narrative thread chronicles her immigration to America and her efforts to assimilate, learn English, and try to fit in when attending American schools, all the while dealing with the lingering effects of the abuse she’d survived. The latter part of the book covers the author’s struggle to create her own life by breaking free of her family’s traditions and expectations, most notably by going to college and rejecting an arranged marriage to someone selected for her by her parents. Shams also writes in detail about the role of therapy and therapists in her healing, particularly following a suicide attempt. (“No one had courage to throw me away. I had to do it. My hand scooped fist full after fist full of pills as I swallowed them down with wine.”) The book should include a content warning for readers, but unfortunately doesn’t; the early sections of the memoir make for very disturbing reading in their descriptions of the trauma the author endured as a child. Still, the book is valuable as a record of sexual abuse survival that demonstrates the real possibility of healing.

Difficult to read but ultimately hopeful and inspiring.

Pub Date: March 25, 2024

ISBN: 9781957366203

Page Count: 226

Publisher: Editor-911 Books

Review Posted Online: Feb. 28, 2024

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  • New York Times Bestseller

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TANQUERAY

A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.

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  • New York Times Bestseller

A former New York City dancer reflects on her zesty heyday in the 1970s.

Discovered on a Manhattan street in 2020 and introduced on Stanton’s Humans of New York Instagram page, Johnson, then 76, shares her dynamic history as a “fiercely independent” Black burlesque dancer who used the stage name Tanqueray and became a celebrated fixture in midtown adult theaters. “I was the only black girl making white girl money,” she boasts, telling a vibrant story about sex and struggle in a bygone era. Frank and unapologetic, Johnson vividly captures aspects of her former life as a stage seductress shimmying to blues tracks during 18-minute sets or sewing lingerie for plus-sized dancers. Though her work was far from the Broadway shows she dreamed about, it eventually became all about the nightly hustle to simply survive. Her anecdotes are humorous, heartfelt, and supremely captivating, recounted with the passion of a true survivor and the acerbic wit of a weathered, street-wise New Yorker. She shares stories of growing up in an abusive household in Albany in the 1940s, a teenage pregnancy, and prison time for robbery as nonchalantly as she recalls selling rhinestone G-strings to prostitutes to make them sparkle in the headlights of passing cars. Complemented by an array of revealing personal photographs, the narrative alternates between heartfelt nostalgia about the seedier side of Manhattan’s go-go scene and funny quips about her unconventional stage performances. Encounters with a variety of hardworking dancers, drag queens, and pimps, plus an account of the complexities of a first love with a drug-addled hustler, fill out the memoir with personality and candor. With a narrative assist from Stanton, the result is a consistently titillating and often moving story of human struggle as well as an insider glimpse into the days when Times Square was considered the Big Apple’s gloriously unpolished underbelly. The book also includes Yee’s lush watercolor illustrations.

A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.

Pub Date: July 12, 2022

ISBN: 978-1-250-27827-2

Page Count: 192

Publisher: St. Martin's

Review Posted Online: July 27, 2022

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  • New York Times Bestseller

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LOVE, PAMELA

A juicy story with some truly crazy moments, yet Anderson's good heart shines through.

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The iconic model tells the story of her eventful life.

According to the acknowledgments, this memoir started as "a fifty-page poem and then grew into hundreds of pages of…more poetry." Readers will be glad that Anderson eventually turned to writing prose, since the well-told anecdotes and memorable character sketches are what make it a page-turner. The poetry (more accurately described as italicized notes-to-self with line breaks) remains strewn liberally through the pages, often summarizing the takeaway or the emotional impact of the events described: "I was / and still am / an exceptionally / easy target. / And, / I'm proud of that." This way of expressing herself is part of who she is, formed partly by her passion for Anaïs Nin and other writers; she is a serious maven of literature and the arts. The narrative gets off to a good start with Anderson’s nostalgic memories of her childhood in coastal Vancouver, raised by very young, very wild, and not very competent parents. Here and throughout the book, the author displays a remarkable lack of anger. She has faced abuse and mistreatment of many kinds over the decades, but she touches on the most appalling passages lightly—though not so lightly you don't feel the torment of the media attention on the events leading up to her divorce from Tommy Lee. Her trip to the pages of Playboy, which involved an escape from a violent fiance and sneaking across the border, is one of many jaw-dropping stories. In one interesting passage, Julian Assange's mother counsels Anderson to desexualize her image in order to be taken more seriously as an activist. She decided that “it was too late to turn back now”—that sexy is an inalienable part of who she is. Throughout her account of this kooky, messed-up, enviable, and often thrilling life, her humility (her sons "are true miracles, considering the gene pool") never fails her.

A juicy story with some truly crazy moments, yet Anderson's good heart shines through.

Pub Date: Jan. 31, 2023

ISBN: 9780063226562

Page Count: 256

Publisher: Dey Street/HarperCollins

Review Posted Online: Dec. 5, 2022

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 2023

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