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Threeway

A SHORT NOVEL FOR A LONG SEASON

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Lubliner (A Child’s Christmas in Queens, 2014) takes on presidential politics in this satirical novel.

Fillmore Pipp is an inoffensive Democratic president, notable only for the way in which his supporters project their feelings onto him: “Fillmore Pipp was the candidate of the well-spoken people who not only knew where they stood but took the lazy scenic route to get there.” It’s particularly off-brand, then, when Pipp makes a sex tape and allows his partner to keep a copy. His real dread is that if the tape is publicly released, America will learn of the smallness of his reproductive anatomy. It’s an urgent danger, as the Republican challenger to his re-election campaign is the hippie-turned–male enhancement guru Mel Kriegman, who’s known to be particularly well-endowed. Even worse, Pipp’s sex tape co-star, Mandy, gets recruited by a malcontent blogger to mount a third-party candidacy at the head of a movement known as the “Brown Baggers,” who symbolically express their dissatisfaction with the status quo by defecating in public while extending both middle fingers. The three-way contest quickly turns into a race to the bottom as each candidate attempts to sift through the muck to find the soul of the American voter. As sophomoric and scatological as this novel’s premise may sound, Lubliner’s America doesn’t seem so foreign from our own—particularly in the current election cycle. The prose is sharp and playful (“He was marked to be a leader of men because he was unfit for anything else”), and the author manages to sell ideas that would certainly fall flat in less able hands. The book benefits from its brevity (it’s only 120 pages long) and the fact that Lubliner keeps the plot skipping along quicker than readers can overthink its ridiculousness. Those looking to dive deeper into presidential campaign madness—rather than escape from it—could do much worse than this comic interpretation of our ever devolving politics. A slim, funny satire of America’s electoral culture.

Pub Date: July 9, 2016

ISBN: 978-1-5309-7129-9

Page Count: 132

Publisher: CreateSpace

Review Posted Online: Sept. 29, 2016

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 15, 2016

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BETWEEN SISTERS

Briskly written soap with down-to-earth types, mostly without the lachrymose contrivances of Hannah’s previous titles...

Sisters in and out of love.

Meghann Dontess is a high-powered matrimonial lawyer in Seattle who prefers sex with strangers to emotional intimacy: a strategy bound to backfire sooner or later, warns her tough-talking shrink. It’s advice Meghann decides to ignore, along with the memories of her difficult childhood, neglectful mother, and younger sister. Though she managed to reunite Claire with Sam Cavenaugh (her father but not Meghann’s) when her mother abandoned both girls long ago, Meghann still feels guilty that her sister’s life doesn’t measure up, at least on her terms. Never married, Claire ekes out a living running a country campground with her dad and is raising her six-year-old daughter on her own. When she falls in love for the first time with an up-and-coming country musician, Meghann is appalled: Bobby Austin is a three-time loser at marriage—how on earth can Claire be so blind? Bobby’s blunt explanation doesn’t exactly satisfy the concerned big sister, who busies herself planning Claire’s dream wedding anyway. And, to relieve the stress, she beds various guys she picks up in bars, including Dr. Joe Wyatt, a neurosurgeon turned homeless drifter after the demise of his beloved wife Diane (whom he euthanized). When Claire’s awful headache turns out to be a kind of brain tumor known among neurologists as a “terminator,” Joe rallies. Turns out that Claire had befriended his wife on her deathbed, and now in turn he must try to save her. Is it too late? Will Meghann find true love at last?

Briskly written soap with down-to-earth types, mostly without the lachrymose contrivances of Hannah’s previous titles (Distant Shores, 2002, etc.). Kudos for skipping the snifflefest this time around.

Pub Date: May 1, 2003

ISBN: 0-345-45073-6

Page Count: 400

Publisher: Ballantine

Review Posted Online: June 24, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: April 1, 2003

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THE ALCHEMIST

Coelho's placebo has racked up impressive sales in Brazil and Europe. Americans should flock to it like gulls.

Coelho is a Brazilian writer with four books to his credit. Following Diary of a Magus (1992—not reviewed) came this book, published in Brazil in 1988: it's an interdenominational, transcendental, inspirational fable—in other words, a bag of wind. 

 The story is about a youth empowered to follow his dream. Santiago is an Andalusian shepherd boy who learns through a dream of a treasure in the Egyptian pyramids. An old man, the king of Salem, the first of various spiritual guides, tells the boy that he has discovered his destiny: "to realize one's destiny is a person's only real obligation." So Santiago sells his sheep, sails to Tangier, is tricked out of his money, regains it through hard work, crosses the desert with a caravan, stops at an oasis long enough to fall in love, escapes from warring tribesmen by performing a miracle, reaches the pyramids, and eventually gets both the gold and the girl. Along the way he meets an Englishman who describes the Soul of the World; the desert woman Fatima, who teaches him the Language of the World; and an alchemist who says, "Listen to your heart" A message clings like ivy to every encounter; everyone, but everyone, has to put in their two cents' worth, from the crystal merchant to the camel driver ("concentrate always on the present, you'll be a happy man"). The absence of characterization and overall blandness suggest authorship by a committee of self-improvement pundits—a far cry from Saint- Exupery's The Little Prince: that flagship of the genre was a genuine charmer because it clearly derived from a quirky, individual sensibility. 

 Coelho's placebo has racked up impressive sales in Brazil and Europe. Americans should flock to it like gulls.

Pub Date: July 1, 1993

ISBN: 0-06-250217-4

Page Count: 192

Publisher: N/A

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 1, 1993

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