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JUST GIVE ME YOUR LAST NAME

A chatty guide to surviving the single life from a traditional, marriage-oriented perspective.

A debut motivational work encourages single women to love themselves first.

Olaniyan used to feel bad about being single. Part of this attitude came from other people. The author recounts one particular Thanksgiving when her aunt and uncle told her that there must be something wrong with her since she hadn’t found a husband yet. “My single life was miserable,” recalls Olaniyan. “When I got tired of this misery, I had to be deliberate about finding the root cause of my situation. You can bet I found it: perspective. Perspective was my miracle, not finding a man.” With this book, the author sheds light on achieving a healthy mindset during singledom. The most important tip for singletons is that they should get to know themselves rather than waiting for someone else to come around and provide them with an identity. She cautions women to think about what married life really entails—and whether they are even ready for it—while encouraging them not to settle for unworthy partners. The whole point is that, in order to find Mr. Right, you must first turn yourself into Ms. Right: be the woman whom you want to be and whom the man you want would be excited to meet. The author believes that it is God who ultimately connects people and that women must have faith that he will lead them to their perfect mates. She also discusses dating strategies and ultimately reveals the story of how she found her own Mr. Right. Olaniyan’s prose is cheerful and easygoing, if not always completely smooth: “Your life is like a house. How can you show people around a house you are not familiar with? When people come into your life, it is your responsibility to show them around, educate them on what the house really stands for, and keep them out of rooms where they shouldn’t be.” Her advice will likely strike some as overly traditional. It is rooted in Christianity and the Bible (the word “helpmeet” appears twice), and the goal is to eventually find a husband, not to stay single forever. But for those with a similar worldview and aim, the author’s positivity will likely assuage any doubts.

A chatty guide to surviving the single life from a traditional, marriage-oriented perspective.

Pub Date: June 10, 2019

ISBN: 978-1-973662-79-2

Page Count: 142

Publisher: Westbow Press

Review Posted Online: April 8, 2020

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HOW NOT TO HATE YOUR HUSBAND AFTER KIDS

A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...

Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.

Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.

A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.

Pub Date: March 21, 2017

ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6

Page Count: 272

Publisher: Little, Brown

Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017

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I'M GLAD MY MOM DIED

The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.

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The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.

In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.

The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.

Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022

ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Review Posted Online: May 30, 2022

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022

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