A chatty guide to surviving the single life from a traditional, marriage-oriented perspective.
A debut motivational work encourages single women to love themselves first.
Olaniyan used to feel bad about being single. Part of this attitude came from other people. The author recounts one particular Thanksgiving when her aunt and uncle told her that there must be something wrong with her since she hadn’t found a husband yet. “My single life was miserable,” recalls Olaniyan. “When I got tired of this misery, I had to be deliberate about finding the root cause of my situation. You can bet I found it: perspective. Perspective was my miracle, not finding a man.” With this book, the author sheds light on achieving a healthy mindset during singledom. The most important tip for singletons is that they should get to know themselves rather than waiting for someone else to come around and provide them with an identity. She cautions women to think about what married life really entails—and whether they are even ready for it—while encouraging them not to settle for unworthy partners. The whole point is that, in order to find Mr. Right, you must first turn yourself into Ms. Right: be the woman whom you want to be and whom the man you want would be excited to meet. The author believes that it is God who ultimately connects people and that women must have faith that he will lead them to their perfect mates. She also discusses dating strategies and ultimately reveals the story of how she found her own Mr. Right. Olaniyan’s prose is cheerful and easygoing, if not always completely smooth: “Your life is like a house. How can you show people around a house you are not familiar with? When people come into your life, it is your responsibility to show them around, educate them on what the house really stands for, and keep them out of rooms where they shouldn’t be.” Her advice will likely strike some as overly traditional. It is rooted in Christianity and the Bible (the word “helpmeet” appears twice), and the goal is to eventually find a husband, not to stay single forever. But for those with a similar worldview and aim, the author’s positivity will likely assuage any doubts.
A chatty guide to surviving the single life from a traditional, marriage-oriented perspective.Pub Date: June 10, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-973662-79-2
Page Count: 142
Publisher: Westbow Press
Review Posted Online: April 8, 2020
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.
The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.
In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: May 30, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022
BOOK REVIEW
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.
A follow-on to the author’s garbled but popular 48 Laws of Power, promising that readers will learn how to win friends and influence people, to say nothing of outfoxing all those “toxic types” out in the world.
Greene (Mastery, 2012, etc.) begins with a big sell, averring that his book “is designed to immerse you in all aspects of human behavior and illuminate its root causes.” To gauge by this fat compendium, human behavior is mostly rotten, a presumption that fits with the author’s neo-Machiavellian program of self-validation and eventual strategic supremacy. The author works to formula: First, state a “law,” such as “confront your dark side” or “know your limits,” the latter of which seems pale compared to the Delphic oracle’s “nothing in excess.” Next, elaborate on that law with what might seem to be as plain as day: “Losing contact with reality, we make irrational decisions. That is why our success often does not last.” One imagines there might be other reasons for the evanescence of glory, but there you go. Finally, spin out a long tutelary yarn, seemingly the longer the better, to shore up the truism—in this case, the cometary rise and fall of one-time Disney CEO Michael Eisner, with the warning, “his fate could easily be yours, albeit most likely on a smaller scale,” which ranks right up there with the fortuneteller’s “I sense that someone you know has died" in orders of probability. It’s enough to inspire a new law: Beware of those who spend too much time telling you what you already know, even when it’s dressed up in fresh-sounding terms. “Continually mix the visceral with the analytic” is the language of a consultant’s report, more important-sounding than “go with your gut but use your head, too.”
The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.Pub Date: Oct. 23, 2018
ISBN: 978-0-525-42814-5
Page Count: 580
Publisher: Viking
Review Posted Online: July 30, 2018
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2018
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
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