Amusing farce, with pearls of urban wisdom and some great zingers, by the author of, among others, Sweet vs. Pretty (not...
Hymeneal high-jinks via a former Mademoiselle editor and self-help co-author.
Stacy Temple, cybermarketer of naughty-girl lingerie for Thongs.com, hasn’t actually done the horizontal tango for almost a year. Problem: no partner (battery-operated devices don’t count). It doesn’t really bother her until she stumbles on a little-known rule of contemporary life: According to GiGi XXX, online sex columnist, a year without means automatic demotion to technical virginity. This thought is too depressing for Stacey, who flings herself into finding one good man for a save-me romp. In no particular order but never en masse, she gets up close and personal with several very different men and a not-out-yet lesbian. There’s Charlie, her handsome best bud from college, who doesn’t want to ruin a beautiful friendship by sleeping with her. Taylor, the lesbian wannabe, is too soft and, well, squishy. Oliver, the cute young loser next door, an amateur vampire by day and hacker by night, singes her eyebrows off during an impromptu hibachi cookout. Brian, her ex, is engaged. Jason, an earnest, brainy type with beaucoup body hair, is simply too sincere. Schlomo, an Israeli Adonis in khaki shorts, speaks very little English but he’s a whiz at removing panties. The doe-eyed Albanian pizza boy is underage. And there’s fast-talking Stanley Bombicci, the CEO of Smut.com, who wants Stacy to star in his badly written pornographic fantasy play—or, at the very least, have her read it aloud to him several times. Stacy can’t say no, because her firebreathing boss, Fiona Chardonnay, is planning a merger of sorts with Stanley. Fiona herself recommends male escorts and even buys a night of erotic bliss for Stacy, who gets cold feet and actually turns down the studly fake Finn. Okay, she’s finally ready for the bottom of the barrel: Match.com. One big fat liar later, she falls even lower and slinks into a singles’ bar.
Amusing farce, with pearls of urban wisdom and some great zingers, by the author of, among others, Sweet vs. Pretty (not reviewed).Pub Date: March 3, 2003
ISBN: 0-06-093841-2
Page Count: 288
Publisher: Avon/HarperCollins
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 15, 2002
Jonathan Livingston Kitty, it’s not.
A lonely postman learns that he’s about to die—and reflects on life as he bargains with a Hawaiian-shirt–wearing devil.
The 30-year-old first-person narrator in filmmaker/novelist Kawamura’s slim novel is, by his own admission, “boring…a monotone guy,” so unimaginative that, when he learns he has a brain tumor, the bucket list he writes down is dull enough that “even the cat looked disgusted with me.” Luckily—or maybe not—a friendly devil, dubbed Aloha, pops onto the scene, and he’s willing to make a deal: an extra day of life in exchange for being allowed to remove something pleasant from the world. The first thing excised is phones, which goes well enough. (The narrator is pleasantly surprised to find that “people seemed to have no problem finding something to fill up their free time.”) But deals with the devil do have a way of getting complicated. This leads to shallow musings (“Sometimes, when you rewatch a film after not having seen it for a long time, it makes a totally different impression on you than it did the first time you saw it. Of course, the movie hasn’t changed; it’s you who’s changed") written in prose so awkward, it’s possibly satire (“Tears dripped down onto the letter like warm, salty drops of rain”). Even the postman’s beloved cat, who gains the power of speech, ends up being prim and annoying. The narrator ponders feelings about a lost love, his late mother, and his estranged father in a way that some readers might find moving at times. But for many, whatever made this book a bestseller in Japan is going to be lost in translation.
Jonathan Livingston Kitty, it’s not.Pub Date: March 12, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-250-29405-0
Page Count: 176
Publisher: Flatiron Books
Review Posted Online: Feb. 16, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2019
The Brat Pack meets The Bacchae in this precious, way-too-long, and utterly unsuspenseful town-and-gown murder tale. A bunch of ever-so-mandarin college kids in a small Vermont school are the eager epigones of an aloof classics professor, and in their exclusivity and snobbishness and eagerness to please their teacher, they are moved to try to enact Dionysian frenzies in the woods. During the only one that actually comes off, a local farmer happens upon them—and they kill him. But the death isn't ruled a murder—and might never have been if one of the gang—a cadging sybarite named Bunny Corcoran—hadn't shown signs of cracking under the secret's weight. And so he too is dispatched. The narrator, a blank-slate Californian named Richard Pepen chronicles the coverup. But if you're thinking remorse-drama, conscience masque, or even semi-trashy who'll-break-first? page-turner, forget it: This is a straight gee-whiz, first-to-have-ever-noticed college novel—"Hampden College, as a body, was always strangely prone to hysteria. Whether from isolation, malice, or simple boredom, people there were far more credulous and excitable than educated people are generally thought to be, and this hermetic, overheated atmosphere made it a thriving black petri dish of melodrama and distortion." First-novelist Tartt goes muzzy when she has to describe human confrontations (the murder, or sex, or even the ping-ponging of fear), and is much more comfortable in transcribing aimless dorm-room paranoia or the TV shows that the malefactors anesthetize themselves with as fate ticks down. By telegraphing the murders, Tartt wants us to be continually horrified at these kids—while inviting us to semi-enjoy their manneristic fetishes and refined tastes. This ersatz-Fitzgerald mix of moralizing and mirror-looking (Jay McInerney shook and poured the shaker first) is very 80's—and in Tartt's strenuous version already seems dated, formulaic. Les Nerds du Mal—and about as deep (if not nearly as involving) as a TV movie.
Pub Date: Sept. 16, 1992
ISBN: 1400031702
Page Count: 592
Publisher: Knopf
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 1992
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
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