Distressing yet powerfully illuminating writing.


In this frank debut memoir, Klatzker excavates suppressed memories of an abusive childhood.

During a meditation session, Klatzker, a pediatric intensive care specialist, began to experience auditory hallucinations. She noticed a familiar tingling sensation, but she didn’t slip into her customary stillness. Instead, she heard voices pleading, “Please don’t hurt me!” The experience was followed by a bout of incontinence, and the author was left questioning her sanity. Battling chronic insomnia, Klatzker began to identify and refer to the voices as “parts” or, more specifically, parts of her childhood that had “split off” so that they felt separate from her. Seeking psychological help, the author began to confront years of childhood abuse. She describes having dual visions of her father—“Good Daddy,” a “loving and proud father,” and “Bad Daddy,” a “raging tornado of fury” who sexually abused her. The author grows to understand her “parts” and realizes that the dissociative disorder with which she was later diagnosed opened a pathway to her salvation. Klatzker elucidates complex psychological states using clear, descriptive prose: “I glided upstairs in my inner house and noted the changes....I used to creep around in the gloom, the walls felt cold and I could barely see my way. All the years of darkness, of not knowing where my voices came from.” The author courageously revisits moments of abuse that may prove too upsetting for some readers: “I’m having trouble breathing through his hand—it covers both my nose and my mouth, keeping me quiet.” Klatzker also succinctly pinpoints how an abuser shifts guilt to his victim: “He pretended he was good, as if he never did those things, making me think I was wrong, crazy, dirty, until the next time.” On occasion, the author’s descriptive style could be considered vague and digressive: “The bottoms of his loafers had those little metal things to extend the life of the soles and heels.” This doesn’t detract from a lucidly written memoir that documents the devastating psychological impact of childhood abuse while offering hope to fellow survivors.

Distressing yet powerfully illuminating writing.

Pub Date: May 4, 2021

ISBN: 978-1-945233-08-1

Page Count: 356

Publisher: Stillhouse Press

Review Posted Online: May 1, 2021

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The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.

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The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.

In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.

The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.

Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022

ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Review Posted Online: May 31, 2022

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022

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A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.


A former New York City dancer reflects on her zesty heyday in the 1970s.

Discovered on a Manhattan street in 2020 and introduced on Stanton’s Humans of New York Instagram page, Johnson, then 76, shares her dynamic history as a “fiercely independent” Black burlesque dancer who used the stage name Tanqueray and became a celebrated fixture in midtown adult theaters. “I was the only black girl making white girl money,” she boasts, telling a vibrant story about sex and struggle in a bygone era. Frank and unapologetic, Johnson vividly captures aspects of her former life as a stage seductress shimmying to blues tracks during 18-minute sets or sewing lingerie for plus-sized dancers. Though her work was far from the Broadway shows she dreamed about, it eventually became all about the nightly hustle to simply survive. Her anecdotes are humorous, heartfelt, and supremely captivating, recounted with the passion of a true survivor and the acerbic wit of a weathered, street-wise New Yorker. She shares stories of growing up in an abusive household in Albany in the 1940s, a teenage pregnancy, and prison time for robbery as nonchalantly as she recalls selling rhinestone G-strings to prostitutes to make them sparkle in the headlights of passing cars. Complemented by an array of revealing personal photographs, the narrative alternates between heartfelt nostalgia about the seedier side of Manhattan’s go-go scene and funny quips about her unconventional stage performances. Encounters with a variety of hardworking dancers, drag queens, and pimps, plus an account of the complexities of a first love with a drug-addled hustler, fill out the memoir with personality and candor. With a narrative assist from Stanton, the result is a consistently titillating and often moving story of human struggle as well as an insider glimpse into the days when Times Square was considered the Big Apple’s gloriously unpolished underbelly. The book also includes Yee’s lush watercolor illustrations.

A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.

Pub Date: July 12, 2022

ISBN: 978-1-250-27827-2

Page Count: 192

Publisher: St. Martin's

Review Posted Online: July 28, 2022

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