by Daniel Jones ‧ RELEASE DATE: Feb. 4, 2014
Amusing and heartening.
A lively, anecdotal examination of the mystifying and treacherous landscape of dating and love.
New York Times “Modern Love” columnist Jones states that he doesn't consider himself an expert in the dating and marriage game, and the book will disappoint those seeking definitive advice for dating, finding true love or making relationships work. Instead, the author breaks down the wisdom he has garnered from reviewing and editing 50,000 (and counting) readers' love stories and laments. Although he offers no hard and fast rules or absolutes, Jones makes several observations about the state of modern romantic relationships and what he sees as permanent changes to the dating landscape, filed under irreverent chapter subheadings like "Destiny: So What's Wrong With You?" and "Trust: Avoid Everybody." The author demonstrates how the metrics of one particular dating website focused his attention on several appropriate candidates, but not with his wife, to whom he has been married for more than 10 years. He explains this is due to the fact that when users intensify their focus—as online dating sites encourage their members to do—they tend to lose their peripheral vision, which involves serendipity, the possibility of compromise and, if you believe in it, destiny. Another enlightening section reveals how modern social mores and technology have created new ways of connecting without genuine communication—e.g., booty-texting and hooking up; emailing, e-chatting, blogging, Tweeting and Skyping. Jones pointedly labels this new frontier of the search for love the "Soul Mate In A Box.” The author does not provide reassurance to the baffled, frustrated and lovelorn; he notes that "the case with almost anyone who's feeling unwanted and hopeless is they simply haven't met the right person.” Unfortunately, “some people never do."
Amusing and heartening.Pub Date: Feb. 4, 2014
ISBN: 978-0-06-221116-3
Page Count: 224
Publisher: Morrow/HarperCollins
Review Posted Online: Jan. 8, 2014
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2014
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by Robert Greene ‧ RELEASE DATE: Nov. 13, 2012
Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should...
Greene (The 33 Strategies of War, 2007, etc.) believes that genius can be learned if we pay attention and reject social conformity.
The author suggests that our emergence as a species with stereoscopic, frontal vision and sophisticated hand-eye coordination gave us an advantage over earlier humans and primates because it allowed us to contemplate a situation and ponder alternatives for action. This, along with the advantages conferred by mirror neurons, which allow us to intuit what others may be thinking, contributed to our ability to learn, pass on inventions to future generations and improve our problem-solving ability. Throughout most of human history, we were hunter-gatherers, and our brains are engineered accordingly. The author has a jaundiced view of our modern technological society, which, he writes, encourages quick, rash judgments. We fail to spend the time needed to develop thorough mastery of a subject. Greene writes that every human is “born unique,” with specific potential that we can develop if we listen to our inner voice. He offers many interesting but tendentious examples to illustrate his theory, including Einstein, Darwin, Mozart and Temple Grandin. In the case of Darwin, Greene ignores the formative intellectual influences that shaped his thought, including the discovery of geological evolution with which he was familiar before his famous voyage. The author uses Grandin's struggle to overcome autistic social handicaps as a model for the necessity for everyone to create a deceptive social mask.
Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should beware of the author's quirky, sometimes misleading brush-stroke characterizations.Pub Date: Nov. 13, 2012
ISBN: 978-0-670-02496-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Viking
Review Posted Online: Sept. 12, 2012
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 1, 2012
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by Cheryl Strayed ‧ RELEASE DATE: Nov. 1, 2015
These platitudes need perspective; better to buy the books they came from.
A lightweight collection of self-help snippets from the bestselling author.
What makes a quote a quote? Does it have to be quoted by someone other than the original author? Apparently not, if we take Strayed’s collection of truisms as an example. The well-known memoirist (Wild), novelist (Torch), and radio-show host (“Dear Sugar”) pulls lines from her previous pages and delivers them one at a time in this small, gift-sized book. No excerpt exceeds one page in length, and some are only one line long. Strayed doesn’t reference the books she’s drawing from, so the quotes stand without context and are strung together without apparent attention to structure or narrative flow. Thus, we move back and forth from first-person tales from the Pacific Crest Trail to conversational tidbits to meditations on grief. Some are astoundingly simple, such as Strayed’s declaration that “Love is the feeling we have for those we care deeply about and hold in high regard.” Others call on the author’s unique observations—people who regret what they haven’t done, she writes, end up “mingy, addled, shrink-wrapped versions” of themselves—and offer a reward for wading through obvious advice like “Trust your gut.” Other quotes sound familiar—not necessarily because you’ve read Strayed’s other work, but likely due to the influence of other authors on her writing. When she writes about blooming into your own authenticity, for instance, one is immediately reminded of Anaïs Nin: "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Strayed’s true blossoming happens in her longer works; while this collection might brighten someone’s day—and is sure to sell plenty of copies during the holidays—it’s no substitute for the real thing.
These platitudes need perspective; better to buy the books they came from.Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2015
ISBN: 978-1-101-946909
Page Count: 160
Publisher: Knopf
Review Posted Online: Aug. 15, 2015
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 2015
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