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SWAN DIVE

THE MAKING OF A ROGUE BALLERINA

A lively chronicle of dedication and joy.

Behind the scenes with an acclaimed ballerina.

At 14, Pazcoguin, who had been dancing since she was 4, won a scholarship to the summer program at the School of American Ballet, launching her on a path to join the New York City Ballet. In her brisk, spirited debut memoir, the author recounts her experiences in the competitive, hierarchical ballet world, from the “elitist cult” of the corp de ballet to her promotion as the “first Asian American woman soloist in the history of the company.” Despite talent, ambition, and hard work, Pazcoguin became frustrated that racial stereotypes barred her from roles she coveted. “Need an ambiguously ethnic, badass female?” she recalled. “It’s Paz to the rescue!” Even in The Nutcracker, she found that she was assigned to the B cast, composed of people of color, while the A cast featured lighter-skinned dancers. She directs unmitigated anger at former NYCB director Peter Martins, who “wanted me in a cage, to be okay with his idea of what a dancer who looks like me should be.” After he criticized the size of her thighs, she went to a doctor who prescribed that she eat 720 calories per day for the next four months. Trained to find everything wrong with her body, she came to see herself as a “monster,” eventually spending $10,000 on liposuction. “As I’ve grown older and wiser,” she reflects, “I can see that the younger me twisted sacrifice into something darker. Especially when it came to Peter’s subjective view of what my body should look like.” Despite the abusive culture that Martins fomented, Pazcoguin never lost her passion for ballet. Besides performing throughout the world with other companies, she danced on Broadway in Cats: a challenging role and a window on a more nurturing culture than she had known on the ballet stage.

A lively chronicle of dedication and joy.

Pub Date: July 27, 2021

ISBN: 978-1-250-24430-7

Page Count: 272

Publisher: Henry Holt

Review Posted Online: May 10, 2021

Kirkus Reviews Issue: June 1, 2021

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  • New York Times Bestseller

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TANQUERAY

A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.

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A former New York City dancer reflects on her zesty heyday in the 1970s.

Discovered on a Manhattan street in 2020 and introduced on Stanton’s Humans of New York Instagram page, Johnson, then 76, shares her dynamic history as a “fiercely independent” Black burlesque dancer who used the stage name Tanqueray and became a celebrated fixture in midtown adult theaters. “I was the only black girl making white girl money,” she boasts, telling a vibrant story about sex and struggle in a bygone era. Frank and unapologetic, Johnson vividly captures aspects of her former life as a stage seductress shimmying to blues tracks during 18-minute sets or sewing lingerie for plus-sized dancers. Though her work was far from the Broadway shows she dreamed about, it eventually became all about the nightly hustle to simply survive. Her anecdotes are humorous, heartfelt, and supremely captivating, recounted with the passion of a true survivor and the acerbic wit of a weathered, street-wise New Yorker. She shares stories of growing up in an abusive household in Albany in the 1940s, a teenage pregnancy, and prison time for robbery as nonchalantly as she recalls selling rhinestone G-strings to prostitutes to make them sparkle in the headlights of passing cars. Complemented by an array of revealing personal photographs, the narrative alternates between heartfelt nostalgia about the seedier side of Manhattan’s go-go scene and funny quips about her unconventional stage performances. Encounters with a variety of hardworking dancers, drag queens, and pimps, plus an account of the complexities of a first love with a drug-addled hustler, fill out the memoir with personality and candor. With a narrative assist from Stanton, the result is a consistently titillating and often moving story of human struggle as well as an insider glimpse into the days when Times Square was considered the Big Apple’s gloriously unpolished underbelly. The book also includes Yee’s lush watercolor illustrations.

A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.

Pub Date: July 12, 2022

ISBN: 978-1-250-27827-2

Page Count: 192

Publisher: St. Martin's

Review Posted Online: July 27, 2022

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LOVE, PAMELA

A juicy story with some truly crazy moments, yet Anderson's good heart shines through.

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The iconic model tells the story of her eventful life.

According to the acknowledgments, this memoir started as "a fifty-page poem and then grew into hundreds of pages of…more poetry." Readers will be glad that Anderson eventually turned to writing prose, since the well-told anecdotes and memorable character sketches are what make it a page-turner. The poetry (more accurately described as italicized notes-to-self with line breaks) remains strewn liberally through the pages, often summarizing the takeaway or the emotional impact of the events described: "I was / and still am / an exceptionally / easy target. / And, / I'm proud of that." This way of expressing herself is part of who she is, formed partly by her passion for Anaïs Nin and other writers; she is a serious maven of literature and the arts. The narrative gets off to a good start with Anderson’s nostalgic memories of her childhood in coastal Vancouver, raised by very young, very wild, and not very competent parents. Here and throughout the book, the author displays a remarkable lack of anger. She has faced abuse and mistreatment of many kinds over the decades, but she touches on the most appalling passages lightly—though not so lightly you don't feel the torment of the media attention on the events leading up to her divorce from Tommy Lee. Her trip to the pages of Playboy, which involved an escape from a violent fiance and sneaking across the border, is one of many jaw-dropping stories. In one interesting passage, Julian Assange's mother counsels Anderson to desexualize her image in order to be taken more seriously as an activist. She decided that “it was too late to turn back now”—that sexy is an inalienable part of who she is. Throughout her account of this kooky, messed-up, enviable, and often thrilling life, her humility (her sons "are true miracles, considering the gene pool") never fails her.

A juicy story with some truly crazy moments, yet Anderson's good heart shines through.

Pub Date: Jan. 31, 2023

ISBN: 9780063226562

Page Count: 256

Publisher: Dey Street/HarperCollins

Review Posted Online: Dec. 5, 2022

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 2023

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