Made-for-TV first novel about a trio of ambitious Arizona high-school dropouts lusting for musical success who become almost famous as the group Masterful Johnson.
Stella, Paque, and Daisy moon over faded ’80s rockers Bananarama and, when they form Masterful Johnson, hope to style themselves after the all-girl group—despite having little or no musical talent. Each band member narrates a third of the story, which opens with Paque's version: dressed as rock stars, the girls drive around Phoenix in a stretch limo belonging to the father of one of their friends, hanging out the windows and waving at cuties. They cut a vanity record that goes unsold, then take up modeling, although their first trip down a Phoenix runway finds them upstaged by a ten-year-old boy gymnast. Stella records celebrity slayings in her Murder Book, little knowing that Masterful Johnson will someday be in it. She leaves for Hollywood while Daisy and Paque record their first demo, writing the songs "I'd Kill You If I Thought I Could Get Away With It" and "Do Fuck Off." When the three guys they make the demo with are murdered (one is a senator's son), the girls become infamous, as does "I'd Kill You If I Thought I Could Get Away With It." Meanwhile, "Do Fuck Off" plays over KUKQ radio piped into McDonald's as the girls eat hot apple pie. To capitalize on the press, Phoenix's Cactus Records releases Daisy and Paque's demo as the first Masterful Johnson single, followed by an EP filled out with "Desperately Seeking Pacino" and other songs. When Alan Hood invites them to film World Gone Water in Hollywood, the girls think they have it made at last . . . until even that dream turns into fairy dust.
Younger readers may see this as satire stuffed with hilarious ironies; those over 25 may find themselves not in the market.