An amusing but garrulous bacchanalia of sex, guns, and talking pigs.
In this comic action novel, a former sniper takes on a swarm of mutant hogs in rural Texas.
The feral hogs of South Texas are becoming a problem. “Two million brawling, fornicating, filthy beasts despoiling the best grazing land in the world,” as rancher Amanda Cross puts it. “Most intelligent mammal around. Smarter than a porpoise. In fact the ones that have been despoiling the Cross Bar Ranch seem to have become unusually smart.” That’s why Cross has hired Ray Puzo, a Special Forces sniper who has spent the last 17 years dealing death in Iraq, Somalia, and Afghanistan. Hunting a few hogs sounds like an easy job to Ray, though the task quickly proves to be much more than he bargained for. For one thing, the Cross Bar Ranch is some 450 square miles in size. For another, Ray immediately embarrasses himself by getting beaten senseless by a vaquero outside the local watering hole. For a third, Cross’ 30-something daughter, Loretta, is an unstable, violent nymphomaniac who seduces Ray (mentioning that she’d love for him to kill her father). Oh, yeah, and then there’s the minor issue of the pigs themselves, who turn out to be a horde of superintelligent mutants who can speak and fire guns and go by punny pig names like Julius Caesar Pepperoniopolis and Reichsfuhrer Genghis of Cannes. The hogs have launched a holy war (“jihog”) against humankind, and their primary target is none other than the man they see as the greatest threat to their continued existence: Ray. Can Ray overcome his PTSD-induced sexual problems and defeat an army of anthropomorphized hogs?
Woods’ prose is a postmodernist mix of clever wording and libidinous humor, as here where he describes the tale’s primary setting: “Viewed from above, say from a Chinese spy satellite or perhaps one belonging to the Department of Homeland Security, the Cross Bar Ranch assumed the amphibian appearance of a giant pollywog. Or a lusty spermatozoon.” The book is gleefully violent and raunchy, and it doesn’t try to make its protagonist—an amoral man who isn’t afraid to drop a racial slur—palatable in the least. Ray is a type familiar enough from modern Westerns and crime novels, and he feels at home here in this genre mashup. Unfortunately, the story’s treatment of its female characters—most of whom throw themselves at Ray at one point or another—leaves much to be desired. The tone isn’t funny so much as it is absurdist. There are nods to Animal Farm, but the novel has no real political agenda per se, and its spiritual predecessors are less Orwell or Vonnegut than they are 1980s action movies. Readers looking for brainless fun of a certain he-man variety will find it here. But given Woods’ talent for turning a phrase or setting a scene, it’s disappointing that he did not set his ambitions a bit higher.
An amusing but garrulous bacchanalia of sex, guns, and talking pigs.Pub Date: Aug. 26, 2022
ISBN: N/A
Page Count: 337
Publisher: Close to the Bone
Review Posted Online: July 28, 2022
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
BOOK REVIEW
Fans of Stockett’s bestselling debut will love this engaging follow-up.
Stockett heads to Mississippi for another historical novel about feisty women.
This time, perhaps recalling criticisms of cultural appropriation in The Help (2009), she sticks to feisty white women, with one exception. The setting is Oxford in 1933. For two miserable years, 11-year-old Meg has lived in “the Orphan,” a county asylum for parentless girls. Chairlady Garnett—a villain so one-note she’d twirl a mustache if she had one—makes it her mission to ostracize the older girls she deems unadoptable, stigmatizing them as offspring of the “feebleminded” mothers who abandoned them. She particularly has it in for smart, sassy Meg, who refuses to believe her mother’s mysterious disappearance was deliberate. Elsewhere in Oxford, Birdie Calhoun comes to visit her sister Frances, who married a wealthy banker, to ask for money on behalf of their mother and grandmother back in Footely. Frances isn’t thrilled by this reminder of her impoverished small-town origins. But she’s trying to climb up in Oxford society by volunteering at the Orphan, the asylum’s books need to be done before the state inspector shows up in a few weeks, and Birdie is a bookkeeper. Having neatly arranged to keep Birdie in town and draw these two storylines together, Stockett goes on to spin a compulsively readable yarn with enough plot for a half-dozen novels. Birdie and Meg become friends, Meg is adopted despite Garnett’s best efforts, Meg’s mother turns up at the Orphan demanding to know where her child is—and that’s less than a quarter of the way through a long, winding narrative that keeps piling on more dramatic developments until all loose ends are neatly, if hastily, wrapped up in the final pages. Stockett might be making a point about Southern women facing facts and standing up for themselves, but mostly this is just a satisfyingly twisty tale that should make a great miniseries.
Fans of Stockett’s bestselling debut will love this engaging follow-up.Pub Date: May 5, 2026
ISBN: 9781954118812
Page Count: 656
Publisher: Spiegel & Grau
Review Posted Online: Feb. 2, 2026
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2026
BOOK REVIEW
An evocative and moving tribute to the death-defying, heart-opening, infinitely redemptive power of storytelling.
A chance meeting in a museum unlocks a long-closed door in a family’s past.
Of a piece with her last three novels—Commonwealth (2016), The Dutch House (2019), and Tom Lake (2023)—Patchett’s latest explores the evolution of families over time, romantic secrets, and step-relationships, again giving these topics the wry and tender treatment that is distinctively hers. As it begins, Daphne Fuller’s attentive husband, Jonathan, notices that a man has been following them through the Metropolitan Museum of Art. At first they chalk it up to the fact that “old guys love [Daphne],” as she told Jonathan decades ago, a notion he has held onto "like a souvenir postcard from another era." But it turns out that, though Daphne doesn’t recognize him, Eddie Triplett is her former stepfather. Like the author herself, as recalled in her 2020 essay “Three Fathers,” Daphne has had three dads. Her biological father, a deep-sea fisherman named Buddy Zabriskie, left the family early; her current stepfather, Lucas Ekker, lives with her mother in retirement in Massachusetts. Ekker is an unprepossessing sort Abby met working as the publicist for his self-help books, Positivity!, Positively Positive!, The Positivity Workbook!, Positive Every Day!, ad infinitum. The man in the museum, Eddie Triplett, was also someone her mother met through her job in publishing, and once Daphne realizes who he is, she remembers that “[their] hearts were forever stitched together.” This is because Daphne and Eddie were in a serious car accident when she was 9 years old, after which her mother immediately divorced him and evicted him from their lives. The details of that accident—among them lies the reason the novel is named after a horse called Whistler—are gradually wheedled out of Daphne by her younger sister, Leda, a clinical psychologist in New York and a reliable source of insight on the narrative’s key issues. “‘You make it sound like I’ve been keeping all this from you, but I’m not,’ [Daphne] said. ‘Who goes through life thinking about what happened when they were nine?’ ‘It’s all people think about,’ Leda said.”
An evocative and moving tribute to the death-defying, heart-opening, infinitely redemptive power of storytelling.Pub Date: June 2, 2026
ISBN: 9780063511637
Page Count: 304
Publisher: Harper/HarperCollins
Review Posted Online: April 6, 2026
Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 1, 2026
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